What Am I Missing?

Have you ever taken a message for someone else - whether from a phone call or someone wanting to pass along information through you to another person?  Sometimes I have taken down what I heard word-for-word.  Sometimes I ask questions to understand the message.  In many situations, I might not understand the message because I don't have the understanding or context of what the person wants to pass along.

Invariably, the person receiving the message asks questions:

• Did she say anything else?
• What did he mean by...?
• Am I supposed to do something about...?
  

As the messenger, we are often caught short.  Sometimes I find myself cycling through Should Have's:

• I should have asked what the message meant.
• I should have written more in the message.
• I should have remembered to...

Passing along information to another person is not always simple!

What do you hear?
~ Click on image to enlarge ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, by Brian Crane, June 13, 2021)

I wonder about the different roles that we play: as the person with the message; the messenger; and the person receiving the message.  Each person impacts the situation.

Why this reflection on message, messenger, roles, and impact?  I blame it on the book my dialogue reading group is currently reviewing:  Dialogue - The Art of Listening Together by William Isaacs.  He distinguishes between thought and thinking, felt and feeling.

In order to listen together, we must separate the inner spiral that intertwines memories (past thoughts and feelings) with listening and responding in the present:

• What is happening now?
• What am I hearing now?
• How am I feeling now?
  
  

What swirls in your mind when you  listen to others?
(Photo: Point Loma Lighthouse, San Diego)

This separation of past memories with current reality allows us to move from reacting to responding.  The reflexive actions generated by our memories are released so that we can be inspired by what actions need to occur now.

Isaacs mentioned that the ascendancy of science over arts, ethics, and philosophy created an imbalance in the human experience.  Proof overrode interconnectedness; facts overshadowed faith.

What happens when science is no longer trusted, though, as we are experiencing now in our Pandemic of Distrust?  Without balance we begin to spiral downward:  individual beliefs outweighing collective wisdom; My Way refusing to acknowledge other possibilities.

Can you see beyond your blinders?

(Photo: La Casa de Estudillo, Old Town San Diego)

In a different discussion this past week, Jayne, a member of a dialogue mentoring learning group, suggested that we must:

"Listen with the ear of the heart."

This imagery invites me to consider opening my heart to what I am seeing, hearing, and experiencing.  As I take a message for someone else or convey a thought to another person:

• Am I willing to hear with the heart;
• Listen beyond the words; and,
  
• Seek understanding?

 

What messages do you hear from your heart?

 

May we move beyond past memories; may we respond to present needs; and may we listen together.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)