Innocent Until Proven...

Sitting in the courtroom for jury duty last week, the judge was explaining to us the constitutional concept of Presumed Innocence (being innocent until proven guilty).  The prosecuting attorney must present the facts that showed a criminal act had been committed... beyond a reasonable doubt.

A few jurors asked for a definition of reasonable doubt.  The judge and the attorneys would not give a definition or a percentage of certainty.  Rather, we were told, the jury needed to struggle with the facts of the case and come to its collective understanding of doubt and guilt within the framework of the presented evidence.

My childlike and lived experience of innocence was burst!  In the judicial sense, innocence was a starting point and guilt had to be proven.

When has a childlike understanding been burst?
(Photo:  Bubble Man and Children - Larry Gardepie)

Looking at my daily life I realize that I don't always presume innocence!  Maybe in a new relationship I might give the benefit of doubt to the other person.  As months and years go by and we get to know one another, there is a shared history and understanding that sometimes gets in the way... I jump to conclusions or make assumptions!

In reality, though, I oftentimes react and judge people's words and actions without stopping and trying to understand.  Sometimes, I think the worse.

That's quite different than the constitutional litmus test of being innocent until proven otherwise!

When do you experience the light of understanding?
(Photo:  Young Couple and Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

And, with some political and religious views, I find my mind closed and not willing to listen to another perspective.  I can be nice and socialize, but an icy barrier is present that precludes me from seeing or understanding.  Do you feel or do the same?

I wonder what it would take for us to become curious.

• What questions do we have about another position?
• How did that person arrive at their conclusion?
• Are we afraid that we may need to rethink our conclusions?

Can an icy barrier between you and another person collapse?
(Photo:  Hubbard Glacier Calving - Larry Gardepie)

Last month I was on a small boat within half a mile of Hubbard Glacier.  Several times large chunks of ice broke away and fell into Disenchantment Bay.  The crack and crash were spectacular!  What was equally amazing were the shock waves that came toward the boat!  We rocked for several minutes as each surf-like wave came in contact with us.  We weren't in any danger, but the captain prepared us for the incoming turbulence.

 As we move closer to this year's elections, I wonder if there are ways that we can prepare for the shock and waves of change that might be coming towards us... no matter which political party wins:

• Are we willing to listen?
• Can we practice curiosity?
• How can we calmly explain the values and views that are important?

Maybe, more importantly, can we withhold judgment and presume innocence?

Your thoughts?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

GPQ* (Growth Potential Quotient)

I once worked for a supervisor who believed that -- at a certain age -- people no longer change.  Being in Human Resources at the time, I thought this a strange conclusion!  I was younger and still idealistic, so I challenged her by pointing to the many ways that employees were adapting to changes the institution was making.  Our conversation ended in a stalemate when she listed many instances where people were resisting these very same changes.

Over time I have wondered if there are answers... Do people stop changing?... When do we stop changing?

Do you recall what life was like when you were younger?
(Photo: Salmonberry, Ketchikan, Alaska - Larry Gardepie)

The only hints I have noticed come in the form of Choice:

• Change can be forced upon us... so we have a choice in how we respond.
• Change can stimulate us... we have a choice in how much change to seek out.
• Change is always present... choice allows us to accept its inevitability.

In these, and so many instances, choice seems to be the constant.

Where do you blossom?
(Photo:  Wild Blue Flax, Juneau's Salmon Creek
- Larry Gardepie)

Besides choice, there are other Life Ingredients that nurture us and encourage us to grow.  (Think of family, faith, and fun.)  When taken out of certain environments, we may not do as well.  Again, there is a choice of noticing who and what encourages us to blossom and flourish... and then seek out these people and places that support and inspire potential.

It may even mean being challenged by situations we don't like!  Remember... we have a choice in how we respond!

When do you feel at peace?
(Photo: Alaskan Lupine and Kenai Peninsula
Mountain Range - Larry Gardepie)

This week I have been in touch with four friends who are in different stages of health issues challenging their concepts of life, mortality, death... and change.  Their Life Reviews have centered on personal growth, potential, and loss.  Each struggle eventually has been visited by Peace:  not a decision to stop change, but a choice and a surrender to accept Life on its terms... not theirs.

I wonder what my GPQ is or will be?  Can I respond in a healthy way to the changes that are already occurring?  Will I reach a peaceful resolution that change happens to all of us... all the time?

 

Keep changing!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Backstreets of Life

Every once in awhile I have flashbacks of being a teenager.  Yikes!  The newfound freedom... with "parental guidance" (or restrictions!), of course... sports idols... friendships continuing from childhood mixed with expanding social networks... and the peer pressure!  If you stood out, you WANTED to stand out as a trend setter!

Exploration was important, but was oftentimes directed by counselors, youth leaders, and the general framework of cultural norms and societal values.

Do we notice what is hidden?
(Photo: Ketchikan Alley - Larry Gardepie)

People tended to stay on the "Main Streets of Life"... what was known and acceptable for that time.  As I have traveled through my adult years, I have noticed that many tourists stay in the safe touristy locations... oftentimes overcrowding and limiting what can be done, buying the same clothing and trinkets, and coming home with similar stories.

The adventure for me right now is noticing the color and beauty of the Alleyways of Life, those hidden areas we all have where wishes, dreams, and other treasures exist.

Are we willing to explore the road less traveled?
(Photo:  Juneau Lane - Larry Gardepie)

Now don't get me wrong!  I believe that both Main Streets and Alleyways are important!  Both provide the thoroughfares and shortcuts that get us where we want to go in life.  One does not negate the other.

Rather, there is a question for us to consider:  when the time is right for us, are we willing to explore the Road Less Traveled, beautifully phrased and imaged in the Bible and Robert Frost's poem?

Can we see the beauty in different ways of living?
(Photo:  Historic Creek Street, Ketchikan - Larry Gardepie)

The Gift of Exploration opens us to new Ways of Thinking and new Ways of Being.  We return from our Self-Adventures with different perspectives to share with friends and colleagues.  Our souvenir-gathering of images, objects, and memories invites us to consider how expansive Life is and how people have changed and adapted to their surroundings.

The question is:  Can I...?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Conjuring Words

Have you ever come across a male peacock?  You may recall its screech or call to its mate, and, if lucky, you may have seen its display of iridescent feathers fanned out?  Have you seen the simple petal structure of plumeria flowers or smelled their fragrance wafting on the breeze?  If you live in or have visited tropical climates, have you witnessed tall palm trees swaying in the gentle trade winds?

If so, the words peacock, plumeria, and palm trees may conjure up certain memories, images, sounds, and smells.

When do you experience beauty?
(Photo: Peacock in full display - Larry Gardepie)

Words not only convey meaning or help us describe abstract thoughts, but they also become building blocks that create bridges -- or walls -- in our relationships.  That is why our vocabulary, what we discuss, and our ability to dialogue with others is so important.

With or without knowing it, we may use a word or two which brings forth images, memories, and emotions we weren't expecting.

Do our words open up relationships?
(Photo: Fragrant Hawaiian Plumeria - Larry Gardepie)

What then do we do when the unexpected happens?  Do we ask questions and seek to understand?  Should we wait and let things settle?  Or maybe step back and reflect on what happened and the words used?

If we choose, our task -- and invitation -- is to notice the beauty and fragrance of relationships... and to sway when the breezes test us.

Can you sway when friendships are tested?
(Photo: Swaying Palm Trees - Larry Gardepie)

The skills -- and timing -- of when to ask questions, seek understanding, wait and let things settle, and reflect can be practiced every day.

What words conjure up memories, images, sounds, and smells for you?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)