History Tells Us: Where Life Takes Us

An elementary school friend and I have been meeting (virtually) every month for most of this year.  Our families knew each other through the church and our parish school.  We had a similar upbringing but then went our own ways in high school and followed our college interests.  Fifty years later we've reconnected.

When we began meeting, we knew we were different people than our childhood memories... but the question for each of us was: how have we changed? 

Which way is she facing?
(Photo:  Perceptions and Illusions, Facebook download)

Over a course of three months we talked about our family values (foundations), our religious or spiritual communities (inspiration), and the filters that define who we are now.  It was only then that we began talking about the more serious topics that govern our country and influence our worldviews.

We talked about the following guidelines before discussing these topics -- the "sandbox" we created to play in:

• Listening and asking questions to understand;
• Respecting the other person's lived experiences; and,
• Trying not to persuade the other person on one way of thinking.

When do you doubt your confidence?
(Photo credit:  Self-doubt and Self-confidence, Facebook download)

It's been a wonderful experiment in dialogue:

• Can I stay in relationship with someone who may have differing views?
• How do I respond when I feel tension or am uncomfortable?
• What happens when I doubt long-held beliefs?
• Where do I get my information? 

 One lesson I learned:  "Listen for the story." (Thanks, Darcy, for adding the aspect of My Story / Our Story.)

What are your "Don't Forgets"?
(Photo credit:  Don't Forget, Madalyn Beck)

Each of us has a story to tell:  the roads we have traveled; the hardships and challenges; the triumphs and lessons learned.  Being true to our personal values is important: being true to communal values is equally important.

What isn't always discussed, though, is the finite time and physical dimensions that limit us:  what it means to be human!  The only way I can move beyond My Limitations is to move from My Story to Our Story.  This means that I must respect Your Story.  As we listen... and learn from one another, My Story, Your Story and Our Story grow.  In other words, we learn to See Other in other.

Where has your life taken you?  How can I learn from you?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting