Anniversaries and Memories

Happy Anniversary!

What?!  Did I miss something?  Are you feeling that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach when you are reminded of a birthday, anniversary, or special happening… which you had forgotten?!

No, you haven’t forgotten… at least nothing earth-shattering… so you can relax!  This post marks the 9-year anniversary of this weekly blog:  November 1, 2015 to the present!  (Click on the link to read the first blog.)

Nine years of musings and reflections on our world and its wonderful moments… and our craziness!  These writings have been a way for me to process what I am seeing, hearing, feeling and thinking — and — to listen to your perspectives shared through blog comments, emails, phone calls and in-person conversations.

What I remember most about these 9 years is the value of perspective:  the different ways that each of us sees and interprets our world; the color that we add to the overall picture; and the sum of our truths that we share and accept.

November 1, 2015 seemed like a good starting point: having finished a 2-year study practicum on dialogue practices, attended the worldwide Parliament of World Religions, and celebrating the feasts of All Saints’ Day, All Souls’ Day, and Día de los Muertos.

It was a time of Remembrance and Gratitude… a time for harvesting ideas and intentions… a way to nurture Thanks Giving.

I am mindful of anniversaries and memories as I wait to attend my youngest brother’s wedding this afternoon:  as Kevin and Colleen gather with friends and family, I am mindful of the importance of love and support, forgiveness and kindness, dialogue and growth… ways to celebrate and remember each year the goodness of life.

As we enter the uncertainty of this next week:

• May we remember and celebrate what is important… self and community, new ways and traditions, freedom to agree and disagree.
• May we discover ways to heal our hurting world… through listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand.
• May we move away from our Win-Lose framework… by working towards solutions that address all of our needs and desires.

I give thanks to you this anniversary… for helping me to learn… and I offer you peaceful memories!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Hidden... Until Revealed

A recent trip was impacted by Hurricane Milton... positively impacted in that our trip was extended!  The most difficult part was rescheduling flights... with very few options available.  We made all of the revised flight times and tight connections... accompanied with the stress and worry in these types of situations.

Sitting back and relaxing on the final segment home, I was reminded of other flights where the clouds parted and I could see the mountains below.

I wondered:  Are there things we do not see clearly when we are in difficult situations?

What is hidden from our view?
(Photo: Colorado Rockies - Larry Gardepie)

Similar thoughts came to mind when I returned home from a weekend of reunions and memories.  Dropping through the coastal clouds near home, I found myself straining to see familiar sights below.

I reflected on the differences between living through trying times and remembering the same events years later... looking for What is Known and learning from What is Being Revealed.

I wonder:  Do our memories soften or harden over time as we gain perspective?

When do we become aware of what is being revealed?
(Photo: San Diego Bay terrace - Larry Gardepie)

The same might be said of our day-to-day interactions with family and friends:

• We focus on what we know and don't see the Unknown.
• We react to the routine rather than respond to the Extraordinary.
• We stay hidden instead of bringing to light our Inner Being.
  

I wonder:  Do we have the capacity to seek what is hidden and celebrate what has been revealed?

Can we reflect clearly what is before us?
(Photo: Reflections - Larry Gardepie

Harsh words may need to be forgiven.  Perceived slights might be questioned.  Misunderstandings could be discussed.

What other ways would you suggest to Reveal the Hidden?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Memories... Like the Corners of My Mind

I know... I am back to memories!  There are reasons for this:

• I visited with an elementary school teacher (who is 98 years young);
• I attended my high school class' 50th Reunion; and,
  
• A friend just died of a prolonged illness.

All are reminders of time passing... precious time and memories!

What is written in your Life Book?
(Photo: North Salinas High School Yearbook Cover)

I am reminded of Barbra Streisand's song, The Way We Were:

"Memories
Like the corners of my mind
Misty watercolor memories
Of the way we were.

Scattered pictures
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were."

I am learning several things about these memories: the fragile nature of life... what is important and what we treasure... stability and change.

How do you see yourself?
(Photo:  Graduation Photo - Larry Gardepie)

As I listened to and observed my classmates of 50 years ago, I became curious about the paths people took, decisions made, families and legacies:  what was recalled from days long past and what we made of our lives.

People remembered that I was a long-distance runner... and that I was quiet.  If we are still in touch, they know that I love to travel, family and friends are important, and that I have had a varied career (teaching, youth ministry, seminary, human resources, project management, software implementation and design, consulting).

What are those memories in the corners of your mind?

What has changed... and is still changing... in your life?
(Photo:  Seville, Spain 2013 - Larry Gardepie)

As I returned to my "quiet self" of 50 years ago, I realized that is still part of who I am.... but it no longer speaks of whom I have become.  I am no longer the quiet person people remember.  I -- and we -- are much, much more than the memories!

I believe the gift of reunions and memories is to establish a shared base of what we knew... back then.  The beauty of dialogue is the discovery of how we have changed... and what is important to us now.

This is a lifelong process:  remembering Yesterday's Person while accepting the freedom and challenge to honor Today's Awareness.

This freedom extends to how we see and treat others in our lives... not trapping them in the Memory Corners we have constructed but smiling and accepting today's discovery.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Disturbances in the Force

Fans of Star Wars will understand references to "disturbances in the force."  Why am I beginning with Disturbances?  The upcoming election seems to convey a similar sentiment... something is Not Right or Out of Balance in our communities!

There is one major difference between the movies and our present reality, though.  For the Star Wars movies, we were spectators and could differentiate between the dark side of the force (defined as anger, fear, aggression, and lust for power) and the Jedi (serving the Light and the Living).  For elections, we are called to be informed and active citizens.

Do we allow past grievances to fall away?
(Photo: Hubbard Glacier calving - Larry Gardepie)

Without taking a political side, I wonder if we can see the dark and light sides of the messages our political candidates are offering us?  I would agree that it gets confusing when both sides paint "The Other" with Dark-Force-like Language!  (Political consultants assist in honing the messages to sound bites... and we take the bait!)

I wonder if our dilemma is not having a handle on our own values or not knowing what kind of world we want for ourselves and our Loved Ones.

What helps is looking at Mystery through the lens of our Values!

How do we encounter Mystery and the Unknown?
(Photo: Mysterious Antarctica - Larry Gardepie)

For instance, if I want a world that is kind, loving, and giving...

• How do I live out those values? (Personal)
  
• Can I seek out and encourage people with similar values? (Communal)
  
• Which candidate will support the growth of those values?  (Political)
  

It takes work on our part to understand ourselves, improve ourselves, and aspire to the values important to us.  The Mystery is lessened when we take a step closer toward the World Envisioned through our values.

Can we see beyond the disturbances?
(Photo: Silver Lining - Larry Gardepie

My encouragement is in the Gift to Dialogue: listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand.  If we approach these elections with a Spirit of Dialogue, maybe we can share our value systems and what is important to us... and invite our friend and neighbor to do the same.  In this way we could lessen the boundaries that separate us:  we have heard what is important.

 

May this week provide ways to see beyond the disturbances.  May we become informed and active citizens.  May we enliven the values that guide us -- personally, communally, and politically.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Thoughts of Blue

I joined a faith-based student group while in college.  One evening the seminary student who facilitated us asked, "What color is God?"  The majority of people answered, "White" -- primarily based on art work and photos they had seen since childhood of God sitting on a throne among the clouds.

I sat and listened, embarrassed that my Unspoken Answer sounded silly.  Brad eventually called on me, and I blurted out "Blue!"

How do you color the world?
(Photo: Feathery Clouds - Larry Gardepie)

No one laughed, but I still blushed.  Brad was staring at me and asked me why... something he had not asked anyone else.  I told him how blue filled the heavenly skies and, on a sunny day, reflected itself in the waters of the earth.  It was everywhere... which speaks of God's omnipresence.

Brad smiled, and then went on to the people around me.  At the end of our group meeting, he made a point of coming up to me to talk.

Do you reflect the world's beauty in your daily actions?
(Photo: Ocean Blue - Larry Gardepie)

He noticed that I was shy and quiet in large group settings, and very rarely spoke up.  He then complimented me on my answer to the question -- how original and thoughtful.  He then asked if he had my permission to call on me more often.

It was the beginning of belonging, acceptance of my inner thoughts, and that I had something to offer.  Brad broke through my introversion... through his questions and the respect he offered.

What emerges when we accept others?
(Photo:  Sea of Cortez Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

I still experience God as blue because of God's expansiveness:  we experience God's presence everywhere!  I have learned to trust myself -- and others!  We have something to offer one another.  Sometimes our thoughts may sound different, but they are not silly.

We have a choice to expand our understanding and experiences of this wonderful world.  We can only do that when:

• Leaders listen, draw us out from what limits us, and respect us.
• We accept the challenge to share our thoughts, listen to others, and respect them.
• We reflect our Sacred Worth and Value -- the God-ness -- that is ever present.
  

Here's to a Blue and Expansive Week ahead!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)