Disturbances in the Force

Fans of Star Wars will understand references to "disturbances in the force."  Why am I beginning with Disturbances?  The upcoming election seems to convey a similar sentiment... something is Not Right or Out of Balance in our communities!

There is one major difference between the movies and our present reality, though.  For the Star Wars movies, we were spectators and could differentiate between the dark side of the force (defined as anger, fear, aggression, and lust for power) and the Jedi (serving the Light and the Living).  For elections, we are called to be informed and active citizens.

Do we allow past grievances to fall away?
(Photo: Hubbard Glacier calving - Larry Gardepie)

Without taking a political side, I wonder if we can see the dark and light sides of the messages our political candidates are offering us?  I would agree that it gets confusing when both sides paint "The Other" with Dark-Force-like Language!  (Political consultants assist in honing the messages to sound bites... and we take the bait!)

I wonder if our dilemma is not having a handle our own values or not knowing what kind of world we want for ourselves and our Loved Ones.

What helps is looking at Mystery through the lens of our Values!

How do we encounter Mystery and the Unknown?
(Photo: Mysterious Antarctica - Larry Gardepie)

For instance, if I want a world that is kind, loving, and giving...

• How do I live out those values? (Personal)
  
• Can I seek out and encourage people with similar values? (Communal)
  
• Which candidate will support the growth of those values?  (Political)
  

It takes work on our part to understand ourselves, improve ourselves, and aspire to the values important to us.  The Mystery is lessened when we take a step closer toward the World Envisioned through our values.

Can we see beyond the disturbances?
(Photo: Silver Lining - Larry Gardepie

My encouragement is in the Gift to Dialogue: listening, asking questions, and seeking to understand.  If we approach these elections with a Spirit of Dialogue, maybe we can share our value systems and what is important to us... and invite our friend and neighbor to do the same.  In this way we could lessen the boundaries that separate us:  we have heard what is important.

 

May this week provide ways to see beyond the disturbances.  May we become informed and active citizens.  May we enliven the values that guide us -- personally, communally, and politically.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Thoughts of Blue

I joined a faith-based student group while in college.  One evening the seminary student who facilitated us asked, "What color is God?"  The majority of people answered, "White" -- primarily based on art work and photos they had seen since childhood of God sitting on a throne among the clouds.

I sat and listened, embarrassed that my Unspoken Answer sounded silly.  Brad eventually called on me, and I blurted out "Blue!"

How do you color the world?
(Photo: Feathery Clouds - Larry Gardepie)

No one laughed, but I still blushed.  Brad was staring at me and asked me why... something he had not asked anyone else.  I told him how blue filled the heavenly skies and, on a sunny day, reflected itself in the waters of the earth.  It was everywhere... which speaks of God's omnipresence.

Brad smiled, and then went on to the people around me.  At the end of our group meeting, he made a point of coming up to me to talk.

Do you reflect the world's beauty in your daily actions?
(Photo: Ocean Blue - Larry Gardepie)

He noticed that I was shy and quiet in large group settings, and very rarely spoke up.  He then complimented me on my answer to the question -- how original and thoughtful.  He then asked if he had my permission to call on me more often.

It was the beginning of belonging, acceptance of my inner thoughts, and that I had something to offer.  Brad broke through my introversion... through his questions and the respect he offered.

What emerges when we accept others?
(Photo:  Sea of Cortez Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

I still experience God as blue because of God's expansiveness:  we experience God's presence everywhere!  I have learned to trust myself -- and others!  We have something to offer one another.  Sometimes our thoughts may sound different, but they are not silly.

We have a choice to expand our understanding and experiences of this wonderful world.  We can only do that when:

• Leaders listen, draw us out from what limits us, and respect us.
• We accept the challenge to share our thoughts, listen to others, and respect them.
• We reflect our Sacred Worth and Value -- the God-ness -- that is ever present.
  

Here's to a Blue and Expansive Week ahead!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Doppelganger: An Apparition or Double

I traveled throughout the United States as a software trainer/consultant for over three years.  Many friends commented at how lucky I was to be on the road.  I can tell you... it was hard work and wasn't all fun!

I discovered that there are many challenges with business travel:  learning to pack and unpack quickly; protecting your home life; staying connected with family and friends on very limited time; and keeping track at connecting airports of whether you were coming or going!

Have you ever seen someone you thought you knew?
(Photo credit:  LAX Doppelganger - Julia Noonan)

One day I received a text from our VP of Sales asking if I was at LAX.  She was in Los Angeles, assumed I was on the road again, and thought she saw me at the airport.

I happened to be at home for a week before my next assignment, which I told her.  She sent me a photo of the person she thought was me:  "Your doppelganger," she said.  (I love the word, doppelganger, but had to look up its meaning: "an apparition or double of a living person.")

Looking at the photo, I couldn't see myself... and wondered what she saw that I couldn't see.

How clearly do we see our world?
(Photo:  Alaskan Reflections - Larry Gardepie)

Over the years I have wondered about how clearly I see the world:

• Mistaking people or their names;
• Misunderstanding what people are saying;
• Misidentifying problems and solutions.

We each have our own learned way of categorizing people, places, and things... as a friend or a foe; feeling safe or threatened; accepting or rejecting guidance and correction.

And, at times... maybe... we can admit that we see only an apparition or a double of what is Real!

Are we willing to deeply explore what we see?
(Photo: Mirrored Reflections - Larry Gardepie)

Through curiosity and dialogue, I am trying to go deeper:  to listen for what I don't understand; to ask questions where answers are unknown; and to accept that I have made a mistake.  The importance -- for me -- of curiosity and dialogue is the ability to
continue learning:

• I may not have all of the facts.
• I might have missed what was important to that person.
  
• I must become comfortable with mystery and not knowing.

As we look at ourselves in the mirror this week, let's expect to see someone for the first time!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Where Do Memories Belong?

Mom would mutter "That man!" under her breath whenever she pushed her walker past a closed bedroom door in our family home of over 40 years.  The man in question was Dad; the closed door was to the bedroom my older brother and I shared years before.  Steve and I grew up in a light blue bedroom -- very soothing for two young boys!

Years later Dad was sprucing up the house and decided to repaint the room.  The light peach color he selected turned out to be bright orange!  Dad, being color blind, didn't realize how jarring the color was!

Mom's solution:  keep the door closed!

How do you color your memories?
(Photo: Childhood Bedroom Emptied - Larry Gardepie)

Memories of our family home spilled out on the front yard after Mom passed away and later when Dad was gone.  Siblings and friends helped to arrange and staff the yard sales.  Memories Emerged as items were sold or given away and carried down the street... never to be seen again.  The last item to go:  our dining room table where so many meals, celebrations, conversations, and games occurred.

The hardest moment, though, was leaving the empty house for the last time and handing over my house key to my older brother -- the key that provided access since I was 10 years old.

Are your memories ever sold or given away?
(Photo:  Childhood Home Yard Sale - Larry Gardepie)

I recently heard the saying:  "Memories... they don’t belong to the house; they belong to us."  How true!  Years later I relish family memories -- no longer rooted in a place... but in my heart.

Is it the same with you?  Objects may remind us, but memories can be treasured and shared.  They also may prompt pain and suffering.  We may close the door to some memories; others may be carried away and never seen again.

Let us be kind to ourselves and with others as Memories Arise... after all, Memories Belong to us.

Where do your memories belong?
(Photo:  Childhood Home No More - Larry Gardepie)

The rest of the story?  A year after the house was sold, I was visiting Millie, our former neighbor from across the street.  She introduced me to the young couple who bought our home.  Their 3-year-old son picked my childhood bedroom:  he always wanted to live in a pumpkin!  "That man" created new memories for a young boy!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Prickly Situations

I assume that we have had situations where we didn't know what to say: harsh words at home; misunderstandings at work; an inability to find the right words.  I want to believe that this is a human dilemma that we all face.

The aftereffects are the prickly or difficult conversations that often are ignored or avoided... only to discover later on that the issues have not been resolved

Do you focus on the thorns or the flowers?
(Photo: Neighborhood Cactus - Larry Gardepie)

These thoughts were going through my mind as I walked around my neighborhood this past week.  I have been a consultant for a local nonprofit's leadership team for several years.  Supervisors talk through issues where they are struggling to find answers.  We discuss various approaches to their situations, searching for solutions that make sense for them and their employees.

What has surprised me is how often no action is taken: sometimes, the situation resolves itself; oftentimes, it is ignored!

How close do you get to the thorny parts of life?
(Photo:  Wrigley Memorial and Botanic Gardens,
Avalon, Santa Catalina Island - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder why we ignore difficult situations:

• We are overloaded and don't have the time or the energy?
• We hope the problem will disappear?
• We are afraid of making the situation worse?

I would agree that not all problems have easy solutions, and I could be convinced that distance sometimes allows people to step back and consider different approaches.

Can you see beauty in any situation?
(Photo:  Neighborhood Cactus - Larry Gardepie)

What confuses me is when some supervisors describe the same situation over and over... and have done nothing to explore or settle the issue.    Why no action when the issue hasn't disappeared, resolved itself, and is ever present?

In moments of confusion and not understanding, I turn inward and wonder how often I do the same thing!

As we face uncomfortable situations in our lives, maybe we need a family member or friend to point out our patterns... walk with us through these thorny patches... and encourage us to break our cycles of fear and inaction.

Just look at nature:  even the thorniest of plants have beautiful flowers to be discovered... and so do we when we continue to grow and blossom!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)