Fragile Bubble Ideas Bursting

Cartoonists will use a bubble with words to display the characters' thoughts.  In our western culture, we have been taught to read left-to-right and top-to-bottom, so we read the frames of the comics and the thought-bubbles in that order.

Knowing the Rules helps us understand the sequence of ideas that is conveyed by the artist.  But that doesn't always work in the Real World!  Everything isn't always in sequence and orderly.

Try to read a comic strip from right to left or beginning in the middle:  you won't understand the comic's intent!

To many people who don't know us or our mind-set ("rules"), our thoughts may seem like soap bubbles that are created and float away.

How fragile are your thoughts?
(Photo:  Bubble Man, Sydney, Australia - Larry Gardepie)

Like a wave crashing on the shoreline, thoughts make their mark and then recede, leaving afterthoughts that soon fade away... or not, depending on the force of impact and duration!

Ideas, thoughts, and assumptions are similar.  They are fragile and momentary... until they solidify into conclusions and ideologies forced onto others: misunderstandings and misconceptions that burst forth and mark that other person.

Are there ideologies crashing against your values?
(Photo: Crashing Surf, Kona, Hawaii - Larry Gardepie)

Like it or not, we are living in a world of competing -- or warring? -- sides, each trying to destroy the other's way of thinking.  The issue I find with this approach?  Dialogue to understand another perspective is missing.  We are living in a Take No Prisoners approach!

To be successful in dialogue, we must honor and respect our values and what is important AND, at the same time, respect and honor the other person and their thoughts and ideas.

Are we being called to live with purple bubbles?
(Photo: Glass Spheres, ms Zaandam - Larry Gardepie)

I am struggling:  it seems like we have limited the coloring of our Fragile-Bubble-Making understanding of life with only Reds or Blues.  I am left wondering if we are missing the point of life:

• Transforming ourselves into something better;
• Balancing our views away from extreme positions;
• Seeking a way to move from Either-Or thinking to Both-And.

Is it possible to create rules that expand our understanding -- the convergence and mixing of all ideas -- while honoring and respecting both.

What would happen if our fragile thoughts and ideas were marked with a new Way of Being:  Respect, Honor, Kindness, and Acceptance.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Looking Up!

Have you ever noticed how you walk?  That is, do you look down, watching where you are going?  Do you look ahead and acknowledge people passing to your right and left?  Or do you look up and around your surroundings, taking in the world around you?  You may do all of these... and more!

The real question, though, is "Have you noticed?"

What do you see?
(Photo:  Iolani Palace staircase, Honolulu
- Larry Gardepie)

Several years ago, I was walking down a work corridor, looking down at the terrazzo-colored floor.  A work colleague, knowing my Catholic seminary background, saw me walking along and suggested that I was practicing the "custody of the eyes."

For those unfamiliar with this phrase, it simply means "controlling what you allow yourself to see."  What an interesting observation and projection this colleague made of my actions!

How often do you look up?
(Photo: Palm Treetops, Hilo - Larry Gardepie)

In all honesty, I was walking along noticing the many breaks in the terrazzo siding -- where doors once existed and were now replaced.  I was wondering about the offices in this building, how they have changed over time to meet the needs of the people passing through their doors -- some long gone and replaced by others.

It's easy to observe and make conclusions about other people's actions and motives.  We all do it!  How often, though, do we take the time to wonder, consider other meanings, or even ask?

What do you miss when you don't look up?
(Photo:  Winter Flowering Tree, San Diego Zoo
- Larry Gardepie)

For those of us of a certain age, our parents and teachers encouraged us to pull out a big, heavy book called a "dictionary" to look up words that we didn't know or understand.  (There are variations of these tomes online, and many applications allow you to highlight a word and its meaning pops up on the screen.) 

Looking Up is an important skill that is often overlooked.  That is,

• Seeing beyond what is normally accepted.
• Searching for understanding and clarity.
• Noticing what is new and different.

As we notice how we walk through this week, let us look up, refocus our attention, and engage on what is important.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Journey of a Lifetime

Over my lifetime, I have had several mentors, spiritual directors, coaches, and role models who have challenged, inspired, and supported me.  Let's take a moment to recall -- and offer a word of thanks -- to those people who have walked with us and encouraged growth and understanding.

One of my earliest role models was a newly ordained priest who described us as Pilgrim People on a Journey Together.

Who has inspired you on your journey?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, Brian Crane, 12/08/24)

He described how there would be times in our lives when we would need people to walk alongside us as friends and colleagues... sometimes walking in front of us to lead us... other times to walk behind us to encourage us.  There might be times, he said, when we would need to be carried -- and to be be ready to carry others -- when too exhausted to travel alone.

These images of a Common Unity (community) who is conscious of a Shared Journey, our Vulnerability, and our Need for assistance and direction have stayed with me throughout my life's travels.

How have you prepared for your journey?
(Photo: Ancient Travel, ms Zaandam - Larry Gardepie)

I believe this message from my youth is even more relevant today as we experience:

• Separation and Division... we are called to work towards Unity.
• Hatred and Discord... we are called to remember Love and Kindness.
• Struggle and Strife... we are called to work together for the Common Good.

We don't have to live in a world that doesn't care... we are called to Care!

Where has your journey taken you?
(Photo: Settlement of Oceania, Bishop Museum,
Honolulu - Larry Gardepie)

Our Journey of a Lifetime invites us to:

• Walk alongside... by listening;
• Walk in front... guiding and listening;
• Walk behind... encouraging and listening!

As we carry -- or are carried -- we listen.  We listen for and identify with the message that we don't have all of the answers, we don't have to be right all of the time, and our truth is incomplete without the other.

 

Thank you, Jim, for reminding us that we are Pilgrim People... on a lifetime journey together!
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Dirty Windows

How many of you like to clean windows?  As a child, my siblings and I were each assigned various chores.  I had to be in the right mood for windows!

If I had the time and was bored, cleaning the windows filled the time and could be fun... creating designs with the window cleaner and challenging myself to have streak-free windows.  If I was in a rush, windows were frustrating... no matter how careful, each wipe often seemed to create more streaks!

What do you see?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, Brian Crane, 12/29/24)

Then there were the Couch-Coaches (or Know-It-Alls) offering semi-helpful suggestions:  "You need to use vinegar and newspaper"; "I wouldn't use that cleaner"; "You missed a spot. Can't you see it?".

Dirty windows... I wonder if there is an existential reason for them?

How often do you see beyond the dirt?
(Photo: deck chairs through dirty window - Larry Gardepie)

Maybe the lesson in dirty windows is what Opal realized in the Pickles comic strip (above): what we see and assume about others may not be accurate!  That is, we need to "Never Mind" the judgments we make about other people. 

Rather than internalize these assumptions, it is important to name them -- say them out loud -- and then check to see if they are accurate.  This is where Earl came in:  he cleaned the window... without being a Couch-Coach.

Are there other ways to see beyond the dirt?
(Photo: Copper River window prisms - Larry Gardepie)

As we talk with and listen to others, it is important that we distinguish between facts, opinions, and conclusions.  The assumptions we so easily make are similar to the dirt on the window: it distracts us; it keeps us from seeing what is beyond the dirt and the streaks.

Checking out our assumptions -- without judgment -- allows us to clear up or peel away the layers of misinformation that we have accumulated over time.

Are you in the mood to clean some windows this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Revelations

A few years ago, I read a book written by Oprah WInfrey, What I Know for Sure.  She reflected on her life and what she has learned along the way.  Because of her fame, I wondered how different her lessons were from my own.

Let me stick my neck out and share a few things I have learned.

What makes you smile?
(Photo: San Diego Zoo Safari Park - Larry Gardepie)

Life is Good!  This is a phrase a coworker used quite often to describe his experiences of life that day.  For many of us, life is good… but I would add, Life is Better when we think of others and try to make their lives easier.  In other words, my life cannot be good in a vacuum.  We are social beings…. People-in-Relationship, so my life can only be good when yours is as well.  What do you need? May I help?

Where do you find beauty?
(Photo:  Honolulu skyline as seen from the ocean - Larry Gardepie)

Our World is Beautiful!  When I pay attention, I begin to notice the beauty surrounding me: flowers unfolding; insects working; trees breathing; creatures being.  There is a familiarity in what we encounter each day, but there is also mystery when we see our World Anew.  Am I willing to slow down?  Do I anticipate beauty in the world... and in you?

What is good in our world?
(Photo: White Peacock, Isola Bella, Lake Maggiorre, Italy - Larry Gardepie)

People are Good!  As a supervisor responsible for overseeing a department’s effectiveness, the tendency might be to discover what is not working.  I noticed the look on my employees’ faces when I caught a mistake… embarrassment, shame, anger, confusion.  I also felt my own uneasiness. Then I discovered another approach: See the Good — that is, catch people doing a good job, congratulating them on a job well done. In most instances, people want to do what is right — we have to be present and help them notice the difference.  Where have you seen goodness?  How have you supported it?

There are many other lessons I have learned… but I am curious: what have you learned?  Let’s talk about what is good and beautiful!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting