Dialogue, Gates and Keys

Last month my Practicum cohort group met for a closing retreat, finishing our two year study program on dialogue.  Over these two years we journeyed along a path - learning dialogue skills and tools intended to help us as individuals and as members of a wider community to "lean in" and become more aware of Self and Other:  to listen beyond the words; to ask questions; and to check out assumptions and meanings.

As I reflect on the retreat and our two years together, I wonder how often I expect my life-path to be fairly straight and narrow, to move unhindered toward my goals or dreams?

Mercy Auburn Retreat Center

The Practicum journey took a few twists and turns.  As we learned to navigate this labyrinthine-maze, we learned to dialogue and listen to another person's truth; to trust and accept one another; and to create a safe environment to become curious, to stand in wonder, and to seek opportunities to meet shared goals.

Labyrinth, Mercy Auburn Retreat Center

One of the lessons I learned about myself is how difficult it was for me to sit in Silence - not the silence of meditation, prayer, or quiet.  It was when "silence" (a noun) seemed to be used "to silence" (a verb) another person.  I realized that I did not know how to respond to this type of silence, a silence which seemed to stop the journey or redirect the energy.

This discovery caused me to slow down and wonder how often Silence - or my assumptions behind the lack of response from another person - becomes a barrier that crosses my path, keeping me from achieving the goals or dreams that I see so clearly.

Mercy Auburn Retreat Center

I am learning that Dialogue allows Silence to coexist.  The locked barrier in front of me can become an opportunity to discover more about myself, the other person, and what is causing the silence.  It invites different responses: to accept the barrier; to not exact violence toward the person or the silence by climbing over the obstacle to insert (or assert) my will or goal; and to hold lightly the moment and the lessons to be learned.

In fact, the stances of Contemplative Dialogue (noticing or mindfulness; nondefended learning; and nonviolence) allow me to experience the sacredness of each moment and each person.  These stances can become the key that unlocks the barriers within me.

Archway of Keys, Parliament of World Religions

Questions for this week:

• What goals do I want to achieve this week?
• Am I willing to put these goals aside when I encounter a barrier?
• What barriers am I experiencing?
• Is there a Dialogue-key that is waiting to be discovered, opening the sacredness of this moment?

Let us journey together this week, practicing dialogue, and unlocking the barriers within!

Larry Gardepie