Waiting Patiently: Anticipation and Wonder

I was not quite five years old when my family moved from Iowa to California.  Each summer my maternal grandparents would drive from Iowa to stay with our family: two weeks of childhood heaven - being spoiled by grandparents who had missed us the other 50 weeks of the year!  Each day was extraordinary: trips to the beach, the toy store, or Foster's Freeze for a chocolate-dipped ice cream cone; special treats like salt water taffy, Karmelkorn,  and fudgecicles; 3 or 4 lunches or dinners at a restaurant.  Our family had several birthdays during the summer months, so it seemed like one big party while they were in town!

On the day of their impending arrival, there was excitement almost akin to waiting for Christmas!  Time seemed to almost stand still.  "When will they arrive?" was a frequent question to my parents.  My brothers, sisters, and I would be ushered outside while Mom completed the tasks of readying the house.  We would sit on the street curb waiting to be the first to see their car come down our street: we could hardly contain ourselves!  The anticipation, the excitement, the joy - all were emotions brimming over!

It was easy to see and experience the feelings as they surfaced: the Inner spilling over into the Outer.

Möbius Strip: working the inner and outer

The Möbius Strip (mentioned in the December 13th posting) is an excellent symbol of the inner and outer work of Dialogue: a continual movement from inside the circle to outside, and then back inside.

 And Chris Argyris' Ladder of Inference, mentioned in last week's blog, is a useful tool when working the Inner-Outer of the adult world.  It invites us to slow down, notice, and become aware of how we are filtering the vast array of information coming at us each day.  "Moving Down the Ladder" would allow us to check out our thoughts and feelings regarding specific situations or people:

• What emotions am I having and why?
• What conclusions and assumptions have I made?
• What meanings have I added?
• What facts have I focused on or filtered from all the facts that are available?

Ladders have high points which can be dangerous to our safety.  As we conduct our Inner and Outer work of noticing and "checking-out" what we are observing (i.e., asking the other person what she or he saw, heard, felt, and understood), we can move down from the high point of the Ladder to a point closer to the base of Reality, closer to what really happened.
 

Ladder of Inference, Chris Argyris (current view courtesy of Bread of Life Center)

Before my Dialogue journey began almost three years ago, I wondered at times where the child-like excitement and curiosity had gone?  I wondered when I had last sat on a curb waiting in anticipation for someone to arrive?

Now, when I choose to slow down and notice (my Inner journey) and I begin to engage with you (my Outer journey), I can see down the street of possibilities, anticipating what our lives would be like when we have time to get to know one another.
 

As this new week and month begins, the invitation is to reflect on where we can hold in wonder these unfolding possibilities?  Where can we anticipate with a child-like wonder and joy the gifts of Self-and-Other-Together? 

Where?  Is it:

• To hear another person's story - without interruption?
• To look in wonder at what that person offers our world?
• To accept and honor another perspective and truth?

May February be a month of Mystery Encountered, Energy Unleashed, and Awe Revealed!

Larry Gardepie