Elections, Reflections: Dialogue and Change - Moving Forward

I have always had a fascination with roller coasters: the nervous anticipation while waiting in line; the speed and energy of the ride; the curves and forces that push outward and hold you in place; the unexpectedness - even after studying the tracks beforehand!  It is the anticipation, the experience, and the ability to get up after the ride and walk away... even when legs are rubbery and shaky!

For me, this one ride brings thrills and chills, bravery and nervousness, fear and excitement.  And, on top of that, I have a choice whether I want to ride or not!
  

Unexpected turns along our journey

With this image in mind, I must be honest, I am still trying to understand the ups-and-downs of Election Day 2016.  The months-long primaries, campaigning, and polls had many unexpected turns!  The country was exposed to an unprecedented experience of images and language that buffeted our moral senses.

In this past week as I try to stand up and move forward, I find that I am still numb and unbelieving.  I find it difficult to stand up without shaking, worried about my footing.  I feel as if I am in mourning: having a sense of loss of innocence and goodness.

And, as I listen to other people's stories of pain and anger... as I watch the protests... as I take in information from many sources...  I wonder:

• How will we move forward?
• What will we do if our nation remains divided?
• How do we regain our footing?

For me, with a shaky heart and rattled nerves, I am trying to slow down and reflect again on Chris Argyris' Ladder of Inference.  I am attempting to begin a Self-Dialogue first, looking inward at the assumptions and beliefs that I carry from childhood into adulthood.  For instance:

• Do I really see and experience Sacred Worth and Value:  in myself?  in others?
• Can I hear, understand, and accept the pain that another person is feeling?
• What will it take for me to sit quietly with you, to listen - without judgment - and to become genuinely curious about your life, its challenges and triumphs?
• How might I hear and accept what is important to you?
• And, is it selfish to hope that you want to hear my truths as well?

Where do I receive information?  What are the facts?
Which are opinions?  Are my conclusions based on reality?

In a larger context, I wonder if there are global questions we must ask ourselves -- individually and collectively:

• What is my  [your, our]  understanding of America?
• How have I  [you, we]  experienced The American Dream?
• Do I  [you, we]  want to move forward when definitions, experiences, and visions are varied?

I wouldn't be surprised if we see or experience life in America differently - for we may be privileged or struggling, hopeful or in despair, content or angry.  But, more importantly because of these differing experiences:

• Do we have the courage after this Election Roller Coaster to stand up on rubbery and shaky footing to seek dialogue, healing, and change?

Outwardly beautiful?  Yes!
What is more important:  that which is within!

America is a beautiful country with people who are generous and good.  I wonder, though, if this image of America is tarnished by our public turmoil: the anger, the hurt, being left behind, the graphic language and images?  Possibly, what is surfacing are shadow characteristics that need to be examined.  We have a choice!  Will we look inward... together?

As we reflect on the American Image and its Shadows... As we dialogue and seek to understand... As we tend to the wounds of Others and Self... may we achieve a new Dream of Hope and Inclusiveness, a Dream that represents all of us!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting