Stories and Puzzles: What We See and Imagine (Part 1)

I admire people who can tell a story.  No matter whether the story is funny or sad, the ability to capture the attention and imagination of another person is a wonderful gift!  Two of my brothers have that gift, and I admire them for it.

Listening to them can transport our family back to a shared event or a time that connects us to their experiences and ours.  Stories help us to picture... just for an instant... a reality larger than what we imagine individually.  We become intertwined by the words and images to a point of clarity, discovery and puzzlement.

What do you see?

Sometimes when I listen to people telling a shared story, I am surprised at how the events are remembered and retold:  what is important to one person may not be remembered in the same way by the other person.  It seems that we grasp and hold onto different sections of the overall Puzzle of Life. 

We tell stories to connect, but sometimes different facts or truths distract us and cause us to doubt or not listen to the other person.  We focus on what we see or understand, and forget that the many puzzle sections, when put together, may form a reality larger than what we, as individuals, can imagine.

What do you imagine?

At a a recent Dialogue Retreat, each participant was given 60 puzzle pieces.  The instructions were simple:  individually, assemble your pieces, and then reflect on the action of assembling your pieces.

• Describe what you see in your puzzle section.
• What do you imagine the whole puzzle will look like?
• How does your section fit into the larger whole?

In a way, we were being asked to Create a Story with what we had.  Isn't that what we do each day?  Whether we consider ourselves as Storytellers or not, we create stories about the people we encounter every day:

• Am I comfortable with this person?
• Can I trust this person and what is said?
• What motives or intentions are inferred by their actions?

We piece together what we see and add in what we imagine.  Oftentimes, we are tempted to make up or try pieces that don't quite fit expecting the story we have created to be an accurate representation of the whole person.

What is happening here?  What am I not seeing?
(Answer will be revealed next week:  Part 2)

I wonder:

• What do we do when we discover that the sections may not fit together?
• Do we consider that some segments of our story may not be true?
• Can we let go of our assumptions and disconnected conclusions?

By asking questions and being open to the unfolding portrait of a person, together we are able to assemble a shared story that includes all perspectives.

May this week allow us to search for missing pieces, being conscientious of which truths actually fit together in our stories, and marveling at our Discovered Truth!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting