Working to See Beyond... Yesterday

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night or early the next day thinking about a conversation or experience of the previous day?  I do!  My introverted nature holds onto and examines... movies I have seen days earlier... stories I am reading... conversations with friends and work colleagues... the tasks I didn't complete the day before...

The list goes on and on about how I process the words and experiences of past hours and days.  It is almost like looking through a gateway in the wall:  remembering and cherishing a view beyond the wall while being constrained by the Wall of Time surrounding me!

Looking Beyond the Old City Walls
(Southampton, England)

At times, these reflective moments provide insights on lessons learned or life events that provide direction and hope.  I wonder, though, as I move inward:  am I missing out on the present moments that are gifting my life now?

In a way, the Dialogue skills become a Gateway for reflection and curiosity.  Holding past and present gently, I am able to explore the wall of memories by walking through the present gateway, connecting past with present.  This transition moves us from from Either-Or thinking (Past-or-Present) to one that allows Both-And being (Past-and-Present).  That is, when dialogue is practiced, we begin to see Both-at-Once, moving from fragmentation and limitations towards integration and wholeness.

The Ability to See Old and New at the Same Time
(Southampton, England)

The dialogue skills of Advocacy and Inquiry, Explaining Your Thought Process, and Learning from Mistakes take on additional meaning when we move through this Both-And portal.  We transition from individuals who are reflecting on Self and Self-Needs to People-Connected, focusing on outward interaction and interdependence.  Truth expands as we gather and share our individual Life Lessons.  These become the Story-of-Who-We-Are... now!

Thus, our core humanity allows similarities and differences to coexist, to rest side by side.

Lighting the Core of Who We Are... Together!
(Southampton, England)

We are still bound by limitations of time, but being connected through dialogue opens the possibility that we will share not only our diverse thoughts and experiences but maybe even those resources we guard so dearly.  Through dialogue, a limited Self-focus is transformed into solutions expanded for the Common Unity (Community).

Questions to consider this week:

• When do I notice that I am focusing only on my needs or wants? 
• How might I balance these needs with the needs of others? 
• What core values are important to me?

May this week provide experiences which transform us from seeing through the portals of the past to opportunities where we see Both -- You and Me -- and Us!

Larry Gardepie
Dialogue San Diego Consulting