In Memoriam: Voices We No Longer Hear

Memory is a blessing... and sometimes a curse!

This week I was remembering Jerry, a friend and mentor, who died suddenly and unexpectedly several years ago.  A man of many talents and interests, he explored and challenged life, loved his family immensely, had several interesting careers, and offered help to people who sought his guidance.

As I moved from one career to another, Jerry cheered me on when I was nervous and unsure.

The blessing: having someone who believes in you and encourages you.

Alone:  Cautiously Listening
(Photo credit:  Jerry Singleton)

I have discovered the importance of standing with loved ones, work colleagues, and acquaintances.  Smiling, offering kind words, listening... these are skills that each of us can develop.  The practices of listening and dialoguing with openness nurtures us when the frigid blasts of discontent and dissatisfaction interrupts our relationships.

Jerry had a tender heart.  When he and Susan retired to Wyoming, Jerry welcomed his "breakfast club,"  his newly discovered animal friends, by supporting them when food was scarce.  He understood and respected their wild nature, but he did not stand by and do nothing when they were starving.

The blessing:  remembering those who model active involvement in life.

Standing Together:  Support and Protection
(Photo credit:  Jerry Singleton)

As I engage with a country disrupted by another mass shooting, I wonder...

• When have I stood with and supported people who are lonely and cautiously listening?
• When have I stood by and allowed misunderstanding and pain to continue?
• When have I offered encouragement, support and protection to each person encountered... loved ones who have accepted me as well as others whom I may consider wild and untamed?

The curse of memory:  times when I hold onto past differences, manufacture conclusions, and make decisions that keep us alone and apart.

Tranquility:  Mirroring Beauty
(Photo credit:  Jerry Singleton)

The beauty of dialogue isn't that we mirror one another.  As we slow down, listen, ask questions that clarify, and make observations that may challenge, we begin to construct a scene where all voices have been heard.  Peace comes not when we agree, but when we allow all aspects of the truth to unfold and exist together.  We become surrounded by different elements of the overall landscape... mirroring the beauty of all... together!

May we pray for those who have lost loved ones.  May we reach out... not to speak, but to listen.  May we remember those who have spoken truth to us.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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