Learning to Balance: Perceptions and Reality

A number of years ago, a friend and I were walking along the Mid-Atlantic Rift in Iceland.  Where the separation between the North American and Eurasian tectonic plates is small, it is possible to stand on two continents at the same time.  Once the rift widens far enough, it is impossible to straddle the abyss without a bridge or other artificial means.  An adventuresous individual could jump from one plate to the other.  But, normally, a person cannot be fully present in both locations at one time when the gap is too wide.

There are times in our lives when rifts occur between well-meaning individuals.  As differences begin to surface, it is possible to overlook misunderstandings.  But as the situation expands, we might find ourselves separated by a chasm that continues to widen.

Rifts Occur:  When Perceptions and Reality Collide

(Click to read about:  Mid-Atlantic Ridge, Iceland)

Last weekend we happened upon a "busker festival" -- street performers sharing their skills and talents to locals and tourists.  One individual from Hawaii presented progressively harder routines, culminating in a balancing act on top of a rickety perch supported by four volunteers holding ropes to steady the perch and the performer.

As she set-up the final movements, she instructed the volunteers where to stand, how to hold the ropes, when to provide tension and when to relax.  Her success depended on them.

As I watched, I reflected on the trust she had not only in her skills, her abilities, and the hours practicing the routine, but her trust in the variables of who she picked from the assembled crowd and the instructions she gave.

All of us were drawn into the performance:  all of us seemed to hope for a successful outcome!

Being Successful on the High Wire:  Cheered on by Others

(Click to read: Busker Festival 2018, Seaport Village, San Diego)

Last week's blog, What is Heard:  A Journey of Understanding (click on link to read), alluded to a rift that had occurred with a work colleague.  I went into this week not knowing whether the rift would widen or get resolved.  There was a possibility we could move on to other projects without addressing the rift.

Talking with our supervisor individually, we were reminded that we were both good, talented, and well-intentioned individuals.  Later, the two of us talked... and listened:

• Could we release misunderstandings, perceptions, and feelings of being-wronged?
• What did we want... for ourselves and from the other?
• Were we willing to move beyond the rift? 

I noticed that when my body tensed and my mind prepared to refute what was being said, my heart was saying, "These are his perceptions; they are true to him."  

A rift can be lessened once the tensions are addressed and released.  Balance can occur when we take the rocks that have been hurled and caught, gently laying them down on a platform that reaches across the pointed confrontations that have separated us.

Balance is Possible:
Taking the Rocks as They Come

This week, let us consider:

• Where have I felt balanced and had the ability to span the rift in my relationships?
• When have I felt wronged or slighted by a loved one, friend, or colleague?
• How might I listen to my body, mind, and heart... balancing my perceptions and understandings with the truth I hear from the other person?

May this week allow bridges to be built across those rifts and chasms in our lives!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)