Breathe In: What is Natural?

Do you remember when you learned to breathe?  Probably not!  But, after those first breaths as a newborn, we just breathed... naturally... without thinking!  That is, until a health condition causes us to stop, seek assistance, and try to recover from the physical limitations which have slowed us down.

Next question:  do you remember how you learned to communicate?  Like breathing, there is something innate that inspires us to mimic those around us:  creating sounds, learning meanings, and making our intentions known.

Maybe communication isn't as quickly learned as that first breath, but there are parallels:

• We naturally repeat or mimic what we see and hear.
• We experience hardships when ideas come in conflict.
• We need assistance in unraveling mental limitations that block our understanding.

A reminder to become aware

When excited, frustrated, or angry, have people suggested that you slow down, take a breath, and decide what you want to say?  In this fast-paced world there may be a lost connection between breathing, thinking, and our actions... something natural... where we experience hardships... and where assistance comes through gentle reminders.

Next question:  have you ever looked in a mirror and watched yourself breathe?  Or, have you ever watched another person breath?

When waiting for an appointment, I often put away my smart phone and practice the following:

• I place a hand on my chest or stomach, focusing on my breathing.
• Once I have a sense of my rhythmic inhaling and exhaling, I observe another person.
• I try to notice their breathing rhythm; and then,
• I try to match their breathing: inhaling and exhaling together.

Of course, this may sound a bit voyeuristic or intimate, but don't we make clandestine observations about others all the time?!  And, often, don't we come to judgements about the other person as well?

A reminder to share long-held beliefs

 The questions I ask myself while conducting this exercise:

• How often do I even notice my own breathing, let alone someone else's?
• Am I able to match their rhythm?
• What does it feel like when we are inhaling and exhaling together?
• How long can I hold my breath and breathe in a rhythm unfamiliar?

Usually, I find myself uncomfortable: another person's breathing feels unnatural, out-of-step with my natural patterns.  But, I have found that the more I practice this exercise, I can stay in co-rhythym a little bit longer... and the discomfort lessens.

A reminder to let go

This breathing exercise produces several insights about dialogue and communication:

• Another person's thoughts and perceptions may seem foreign to my way of thinking.
• I may find myself hooked by physical or mental limitations... like the exterior physical attributes of skin color, voice tone, and accents... or like the interior constructs of progressive or conservative thinking, language, and culture. 

Like breathing, people develop their own rhythm in speaking and listening: what is exhaled and inhaled into our minds.

And now, a final question:  are you willing to practice a dialogue-rhythm that allows you to stay in step with the people around you... maybe a little longer each encounter?   Like a wisp of a cloud stretched on air currents, communication and understanding can be extended:  over time, our shared ideas may intertwine, merge and disappear into a pattern natural to all of us. 

 

Blessings to our mothers... who gave us life...

helped us draw our first breaths and

taught us our first communication lessons.

If there were hardships along the way,

may we seek assistance to understand

those lessons which make us unique.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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