Building Bridges of Understanding: From One Heart to Another

Election Day.  A day of individual and collective decisions... candidates, vision, leadership, promises, referendums.  People seeking direction for their communities, states, and country.  A time to reflect on what is important in our lives, and moments to adjust course.

What is important to you?  What is important to those around you?  Are in you agreement?  How do you know? 

Bridges to Discovery
(Portland Japanese Garden: Portland Oregon)

Bridges allow us to cross-over gaps that separate us.  It seems that in these decision-making moments, we are invited to notice bridges... being built, repaired, tested... or destroyed

Are we willing to see or imagine what is on the other side of the bridge?  Can we ask questions: to seek continuity of what we know; to discover new possibilities; or to begin anew with our relationships.

In other words, do we elect to stay separated by the gaps that separate or to build bridges across these divisions?

Bridges to New Understanding and Ideas
(Charles de Gaulle Bridge: Dinant, Belgium;
Birthplace of Adolphe Sax, inventor of the saxophone)

Traveling through Dinant, Belgium a few years ago, we came across an old bridge that was alive with national flags and gigantic saxophones decorated in the colors and images of countries paying tribute to Adolphe Saxe, inventor of the saxophone.

As I walked across this bridge -- moving from the older to the newer sections of the town, I reflected on how one person impacted so many others throughout the world.  Each of us has this ability to move from old to new, influencing others as we reinvent who we are and want to become.

Bridges from One Heart to Another

I would suggest that when our minds and hearts become hardened or trapped into ideological corners, rather than throwing stones at others who don't think and believe as we do, a better course of action might be to rediscover ways to build bridges of understanding, one heart at a time.

Questions to consider:

• Am I open to asking questions where I don't know the answer?
  Examples: I don't understand...   Can you help me understand your decision about...?  What is your primary concern about...?
• Can I listen to the responses without judging?
  Examples: When I hear a response I disagree with, can I ask additional questions to seek a deeper understanding?  Could I test my assumptions about what I heard and how my own values might be getting in the way?
• May I stay present to the other person by not checking out mentally or walking away?
  Examples:  When I feel uncomfortable, can I ask myself why?  Can I share my discomfort with the other person in a neutral way?

I would suggest that staying in relationship when we differ in our values, judgments, and decisions is one way to build bridges and repair hurts or misunderstandings.  Seeking a middle ground moves us out of our corners, and invites others across the gaps that separate.  Bridges of discovery and new understanding allow us to move from old to new.

May the election decisions we have made individually and collectively this week bring us into meaningful discussions, one open heart to another.  Peace... and happy bridge building!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)