Sacrifices: What are You Willing to Give?

The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918: the end of World War I.  One hundred years ago, but still remembered and celebrated.  British author H. G. Wells described World War I as the "war to end all wars."  Yet, we know that this hasn't been true.  We continue to struggle with other nations and peoples... because of ideology, cultures, misunderstandings, resources... and anger, fear, or history.  It seems that we have a difficult time letting go!

I wonder:  what is my Eleventh Hour when I will eventually stop warring against those around me?

What memorials have we created to the past?
(Luxembourg American Cemetery and Memorial - World War II)

During the jury selection process several years ago, I was surprised at how similar many of our responses were to the judge's pre-trial questions.  The lives of almost every prospective juror -- or someone close to them -- had been touched or shattered by abuse, alcoholism, harassment, or other forms of violence.  Listening to some of the answers, I noticed that some people spoke of the event in a matter-of-fact tone.  Others were visibly taken back to that emotional event in their past.

The judge's follow-up question for each person was whether or not we could set aside our own experience and listen -- without judging -- to the testimony of this trial.

I wonder:  how often do I set aside my own life story to listen to another person without judging?

What has shattered our trust in others?

Though we may have experienced hardships, prejudice, and other obstacles in our lives, I believe that we can overcome these events... not alone and by ourselves, but together and with the support of non-judging family, friends, and work colleagues.  How?

 By looking beyond the shattered glass of that moment.  By sharing our stories and trusting others again.  By the presence and caring that we bring into each relationship.

I wonder:  do I really care about the other person who is willing to answer my sometimes trite "How are you doing?" greeting?

How might we see beyond the dark clouds?

Dialogue invites us into new ways of being: our Quality of Presence and Quality of Engagement challenge us to notice the past but remain in the present.

Questions to consider:

• How can I set aside my judgments to listen openly to another person?
• In what ways might I learn to trust those who remind me of past hurts?
• What am I willing to give in order to stay in relationship?

May we honor and respect the sacrifices of the past, but may we also move toward a future where peace will prevail.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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