Feeling Fenced In? It's Time to Notice SCRs

I don't know about you, but there are some situations where I feel constrained or limited.  I used to think that being boxed in was due to Control... or my lack of control.  This may have been true in some instances, but I began to realize that I was always looking outside of myself:  It was someone else's fault!  I needed someone to blame for how I was feeling or how I was reacting to the barriers that surrounded me.

Now, though, I wonder:

• Do I notice -- or when do I notice -- the fences around me?
• What do I feel -- or what emotions arise -- when I feel trapped?
• How might I look differently at the structures that limit me?

Fenced In: what paces do you go through
when you feel trapped?

Recently, an out-of-state friend wanted to go to the San Diego Zoo.  We had a wonderful six hours together walking through the trails and exhibits.  Toward the end of the day we came across a number of animals that seemed agitated.  They were continuously pacing back and forth.  Were they aware of their confinement?  Were they disturbed by the people outside their caged-in environment?  Was it feeding time?

We came across another area that had water falls -- more transparent, but still... barriers.  I wondered:  how do we differentiate the real and perceived boundaries encountered each day?

Fenced In: can you see beyond your barriers?

My dialogue mentor is very adept at recognizing Socially Constructed Realities (SCRs) -- knowledge that is created, defined, and passed on through our families, cultures, social norms, and education.  SCRs help give meaning to our world, the file folders that help us determine what is considered to be right-wrong, good-bad, acceptable-or-not... and whether we are safe or in danger.  They provide common structure and understanding.

As I work through my dialogue practice, I have found it important to notice and identify SCRs I have accepted... knowingly or unconsciously.  In some instances, I can easily see the SCRs:  they are clear, and I remember when I learned or accepted these rules or meanings.  Other times, the SCRs are more evasive and less transparent:  I struggle with why society has determined these structures to be important, and I wonder why I adhere to the SCR when I don't understand or agree.

Fenced In: how do you find the freedom
to see beyond your boundaries?

This noticing -- this Self-Knowledge or Discovery -- helps us to see the ways we are filtering our worldly understanding.  Seeing and acknowledging SCRs -- without boxing them in with a Good-Bad value system -- opens us to choose:  we am free to respond with open minds and hearts!

We no longer need to pace and worry about the barriers between us.  Instead, we can relax in the knowledge that we have a choice in how to respond to one another.

May this week allow us to explore the SCRs that have governed our lives: not to throw them out, but to explore their meaning and truth for future decisions.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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