Dialogue San Diego: Maybe... Is It Time to Clean House?

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Maybe... Is It Time to Clean House?

Living in a State where we have "stay at home" directives, it seems like the perfect time to conduct Spring Cleaning. In fact, many friends who are staying in touch virtually have shared various cleaning priorities and tips. Unlike past years where spring cleaning was a chore, we seem to be sharing online about our goals after we clean and simplify our lives.

As I clean out closets of items no longer used, photo albums of memories forgotten, and supplies purchased for projects not started, I am wondering if it is time to conduct other types of cleaning:

How I think of others;
How I respond to messages not welcomed; and,
How I act when My Way is not listened to or accepted.

Is it time to focus on revising how we interact?

As I try to fill out days no longer filled with distractions, I notice my mind is keeping a checklist of projects unfinished. I am aware that some items are of a personal nature, and my curiosity is drifting towards them.

Maybe it is time, I am thinking, of creating a Dialogue Checklist -- how I want to show up; who I want to become; what we might have in common; and why it is important to listen and understand.

What items should be included
in your Dialogue Checklist?

Reviewing Dialogue Practicum resources, I revisited Chris Argyris' Dialogue Skills, and realized this may be a wonderful starting point:

Combine advocacy with inquiry.
Invite others into your viewpoint, and let them explore and ask questions.
Illustrate abstract interpretations with concrete information.
When making a claim, provide the information behind the idea.
Share your thought process and check for agreement at each step.
Describe why you drew certain conclusions, and listen for conflict.
Look for contradicting data and alternative explanations.
Rather than seek out agreement, encourage and test conclusions.
Support making mistakes in the service of learning.
Listening for conflict opens the possibility that we may be wrong in our conclusions.
Notice your impact on a situation.
Realize that multiple roles may cause awkwardness.
Experiment to test different views.
Try various approaches to see if (or where) problems arise. Be willing to adapt.

Where do you experience beauty and life?

I recall that humor is an essential aspect of learning -- being able to take lightly what is said and heard. Maybe, as we practice these skills and experiment with a New Way of Being, we can allow a childlike playfulness to emerge!

Imagine what it would be like if we took this time of isolation, fear, and uncertainty, and worked on one dialogue skill each day (7 skills, 7 days = 1 each day; repeat each week). Maybe we could practice with friends and family, whether isolated together or virtually. Maybe we would come out of this global pandemic wiser, more trusting, and skilled at healing our hurting world. Maybe...

Offered with peace and hope!