Dialogue Ghosts

Charles Dicken's 1843 A Christmas Carol has become a holiday tradition for over 177 years.  Through the book, plays, movies, and cartoons we are invited on a journey to discover our own Ghosts of Past, Present and Future:

• How do memories and past actions shape our present state of mind?
• Are we aware of how we treat others now?
• What choices are we making to improve the future?
  

Dickens may have been speaking to his society of how the working poor were being treated and the ability of one selfish man to redeem himself.  But, maybe he is still speaking to us today: like Scrooge, can we change our current trajectory to become more sympathetic toward others... and ourselves?

 

What separates you from your brilliance?
(Bankers Hill, San Diego 2015)

What I have enjoyed about practicing dialogue are the moments when I understand What Could Be.  I don't always get it "right" -- after all, I am an imperfect human being.  But the challenge to reflect light outward -- seeing and understanding the beauty in others -- can be life changing.

The fundamentals of many dialogue practices are focused on three stances:

• Mindfulness (Active Noticing): developing a clearer awareness and understanding of personal filters.  After all, what we do not notice, we cannot freely respond to or choose to engage.
• Non-defended Learning:  overcoming our defended ways of fitting in, protecting ourselves, and advancing our own interests.
• Nonviolence: the ability to relate to the Common Good, where Self and Other is safe while exploring solutions with the freedom to choose without retribution.
  

 

Do you reflect your beauty?
(Seaport Village, San Diego 2020)

As Ebenezer Scrooge becomes aware of his treatment of Jacob Marley and the effects on Marley's family, his defended and miserly ways are transformed.  Scrooge begins to share his wealth with others and becomes reconnected to the human family.

Christmas invites us to accept a similar challenge each year:

• To understand the Spirits of our past and present;
• To become reconnected to family and friends; and,
• To free ourselves from the miserly ways of individualism, refocusing on the good of others.
  

Is it time to crack through frozen memories?
(Glacier Bay, Alaska 2014)

I wonder, as we enter these final days of a COVID-affected holiday season -- where physical distancing and Stay-at-Home orders may have isolated us:

• Are we able to break through earlier resentments and hurts?
• Can we think of the needs of others over our own?
  
• Will we gift others with curiosity, exploration, and understanding?

May the light and beauty of these holy days inspire us to awareness, learning, and nonviolence.  May we seek to unite and heal.  May we be transformed.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)