Reflections on Rejection

"Mom, he's copying me!"  A repeated complaint when growing up in my family:  younger siblings mimicking older brothers and sisters; wanting to be an individual and independent.. yet
belonging to a family.  If you think about it, our childhood development depended on copying and mimicking the words and actions of others.  Growth and early learning was inspired by the adults and role models we physically looked up to or admired.

To this day I see reflections of my parents and siblings in my facial expressions, mannerisms, and word choices.

How often do we reject before we reflect?
~ Do you see anything different in the reflection? ~

(Reflected beauty, Haynes, Alaska)

As I grew older, I learned how to sift through what I liked or did not like; when I was treated fairly or bullied; how I wanted to become an individual yet belong.  Acceptance and rejection are opposites... but maybe there is a deeper connection to be noticed and respected:

• The freedom to choose how to act and become.
• The choice to accept and reject values and actions.
  
• The ability to balance individual and Common Good.

Reflecting on rejection may allow us to show up and be accepted as imperfect people.  We are seeking the Beauty Hidden in the reflection, and through the reflection we come to See and Understand the Real.

Have you experienced hidden beauty
in the reflection?
(Baptismal font, Salisbury Cathedral, England)

 

My Dialogue Reading Group began discussing Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature.  As we talked through the Shadow-Self that we recognize and accept in ourselves, images of children noticing their shadows for the first time surfaced.  In the beginning, children don't understand the connection between Self and Shadow.  There is a period of running away from the shadow, then, in a moment of acceptance, the shadow becomes a playful extension of self.  And... as we grow older... we forget to look at our shadows!  (When was the last time you noticed your shadow following you?!)

I wonder if the same is true for grownups: Do we notice our Shadow-Self?  Can we see connections between what we accept or reject?  Do we understand the Shadow as an extension -- often seen, but sometimes hidden?

How do you see your shadow?
~ Look closely at the child's shadow ~

(Photo credit:  Fun with Shadows, The Learning Child Blog)

So, reflecting on rejection -- those parts of myself or others that we don't want to accept -- I wonder if a transformation needs to take place:

• Understanding the connection between Self and Other;
•  Noticing when we run away from what we don't like; and,
• Learning to play with ideas foreign to us, shadows that linger.
  

May this week open us to reflections of Copying and Learning, Acceptance and Rejection, Individual and Community.  May we seek transformation to accept ourselves as imperfect people.  And may we puzzle together -- through Dialogue -- ways to accept and play with our Shadows.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)