Over the past several weeks I have participated in virtual reunions with friends from my 8th grade class and from the youth ministry groups I coordinated. Many of these friendships go back 40-50 years: we are an accumulation of shared history, individual stories, and years together and separate. In addition, November is a month of remembrance and thanksgiving: All Saints, All Souls, Día de los Muertos, Veterans Day, and Thanksgiving... and it's my birthday month!
Reflecting on the passage of time and relationships -- past and present -- provides me insights into Lessons Learned.
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| What impressions are created when you meet someone for the first time? (Photo: Larry Gardepie, 11 hours old) |
I have noticed how immediate impressions have skewed how I look at people. I am wondering:
- Are those impressions accurate?
- Did I allow the friendship to reveal the depth of the other person?
- Was I willing to be changed by new information about that person?
I don't know about you, but sometimes it is difficult to let go of first impressions! I quickly assume I know the person because of my earliest conclusions. I am hoping this awareness will slow me down and remind me to check out what I saw, heard, and concluded about others.
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| How do you see people after they do something unexpected? (Photo: Larry Gardepie, displaying crocheted objects) |
When my grandmother moved into a nursing home, her world became smaller, her sense of self-worth eroded, and she concluded that she no longer had anything to give. I knew my grandmother crocheted, so I spent a vacation week with her -- asking her to show me how to crochet. There were many moments of frustration as my not-so-nimble fingers tried to figure out single, double, and triple crochet stitches! The time with Grandma was what we both needed: I eventually overcame my frustration and my crochet skills improved; she passed along part of herself to a grandchild. Soon after our time together, Grandma began to forget how to crochet.
What was unexpected: people's double-takes when they encountered a young man working on a lace tablecloth or an afghan... like the Czech guard looking down with surprise (or disgust!), turning around abruptly, walking away and not completing his passport-checking duties on the train I was on!
Our world is more connected than ever, yet at times we seem so far apart. To bridge some of our separation, I wonder:
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| Do you change when working closely with others on a shared project? (Photo, Larry Gardepie and project colleagues) |
Our world is more connected than ever, yet at times we seem so far apart. To bridge some of our separation, I wonder:
- Are we willing to sit with someone and learn more about them, allowing our first impressions to be challenged?
- Rather than projecting what we think the other person will say or do, can we invite curiosity to be our guide as we explore what another person experiences?
- Like children, how might we excitedly anticipate the unexpected, awaken each day to a new world, and hope for change?
May we reconnect this week through our awareness of first impressions, our curiosity to learn more, and our willingness to change.
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| Larry Gardepie (click on link for website) |
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