For the past several years, long-time friends from elementary school have gathered virtually to reminisce on our childhood friendships and to catch-up on our lives. Though we are different people decades away from our grade school years, there remains a kernel of who we were and are to one another. I've been mulling over our last gathering: at one point the conversation became much more serious than previous reunions.
Was it a reflection that we were ready to talk through today's complexities? Were the differences in our current lives ready to stretch our past friendships? Is there something hidden beyond the classroom and schoolyard remembrances?
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| Can you see beyond what you see today? (Photo: Balboa Park, San Diego, Larry Gardepie) |
What I have learned about relationships in the intervening years since I was younger and more naive is the importance to value and accept people for who they are... their individual dreams, aspirations and experiences. Mind you, I don't always remember these lessons! Rather, I fall back into being anxious when not picked on a team or competing to be the best in the Classroom of Life or knowing that I have the right answer!
And, in the confusion of today's world, I find myself caught between opposing views or activists who require that I accept only their worldview.
I have to remind myself that I have moved away from the classroom and playground where the teacher or an adult moderated the environment... asking that we share the swings and balls and four square courts, allowing others who have raised their hands to answer the questions, and playing fair with one another.
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| Are you too close to a situation to see everything? (Photo: Dart Coffee Company, Santa Barbara, Larry Gardepie) |
Similar to our younger selves in the classroom and on the playground, I wonder if:
- We take some situations too seriously.
- There are instances when we do not see clearly.
- We may need to step back and listen.
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| How can you step back and consider another perspective? (Photo: Dart Coffee Company, Santa Barbara, Larry Gardepie) |
A phrase that I learned and have come to value -- but again, I admit I don't always use: Help me understand... In this one phrase I am: asking for help; expressing that I don't understand; and when said with curiosity and humility, inviting you to share your thoughts and ideas. In essence, the adult who moderated our classroom and playground environment surfaces within me: can we live together and share what we know and understand?
May we learn to value and accept others. May we play fair in thoughts, words, and actions. May we help each other to understand.
Again! A valuable reflection as we struggle to understand varying social and religious views given the great variety of information and experience.
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