A friend was in a serious car accident recently. As she shared her story, my mind drifted back 20 years when I was caught in a blizzard as I headed to the Denver airport. Could I have done anything differently before my car rear-ended the other car? Did the other driver really pull off the road when the car stalled -- as was told to the state trooper? My pictures, after all, showed the other car in the slow lane - not safely across the shoulder!
Darcy talked about similar questions:
- What happened?
- Who was to blame?
- Could this accident have been prevented?
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| Who do you blame? (Photo credit: What Happens When a Car Accident..., Abels and Annes, P.C.) |
Darcy noted that we, as humans, seem wired to rush to judgment, to blame, to assign fault, to figure out what happened, and to find solutions. For instance, friends describe Darcy as a cautious driver -- it couldn't have been her fault!
Accidents disrupt our lives and encourage us to look at this broken world through other lenses as we seek to find answers and the reason behind a situation.
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| How do you see the world after an accident? (Photo: shattered glass barrier, Amsterdam, Netherlands, Larry Gardepie) |
- Why do we find fault or need to blame?
- What if we have misjudged the situation or the other person?
- Are we willing to learn something new about ourselves?
Reflecting on and sharing our thoughts will help us to reconcile our need to find fault and blame with our desire for understanding and solutions.
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| Where do you find love and acceptance? (Photo: San Francisco Heart, Union Square) |
As Darcy describes her physical healing, she is trusting others to remove her neck brace -- anticipating the still-present pain and uncertainty when her neck is not supported. Security and control is set aside, replaced by the comfort of family and friends who listen and understand.
At the time of my accident 20 years ago, Colorado was a No Fault state. Imagine what it would be like NOT to find fault or seek blame? Would we focus on healing faster... be concerned about the other person's welfare... and seek connection and answers together?
May any mishap this week open us more to a desire to heal a broken world and less on filtering our reactions through fault and blame.
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| Larry Gardepie (click on link for website) |
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