What Do You Expect?

Assumptions tend to trip me up!  I think I know what I am talking about, and then I find out that most of my information was based on assumptions and faulty conclusions.  On top of it, my mind gets locked into "I am right!"  Can you relate?

Same with Expectations: right now, I am working on a huge project with a team of people.  Two months into our planning, I am beginning to realize that each of us has different ideas of what should be happening.  In other words, we have different expectations of what each should be doing at this point in the project!

What do you expect from someone close to you?
(Photo credit:  Expectations - How Expectations
Can Impact Your Life, NewRoads Counseling)

What is interesting about my assumptions and expectations is how entrenched I become:

• I want my version of life to be right.
•  I expect others to agree with me.
•  I demand to be heard.

It's as if everything is centered on me and what I think and feel.  Does this ring true for you?

How often do want your expectations to become reality?
(Photo credit: Expectation vs Reality -
Where are You Operating From?, SheCanCode)

The images that comes to mind when I defend my assumptions and expectations come from World War I photos of individuals hunkered down in trenches, trying to stay safe from enemy fire.  The question for all of us when we notice these deadly patterns in ourselves:

How do we climb out of these trenches we have created for ourselves?

Just think:  when we are in these foxholes, we have limited vision ahead -- we can only see up and down the corridors that keep us prisoners.

Once awareness sets in:  I realize all of the time and energy I have expended proving that I am right; I begin to slow down my mental-warring; and I listen to how my arguments sound.  Doesn't it sound like childhood playground banter of “I am right!" and "You are wrong!”?

When are you disappointed in others or yourself?
(Photo credit: John C. Maxwell, Quotes about Reality)

This noticing allows my mind to shift to curiosity.  I begin to wonder:

• What did he mean?
•  What might she have been thinking?
•  Do they see something I am missing?
•  Is it possible they know something I don’t know?

Real freedom emerges when we lay down our Weapons of Assumptions and Expectations and choose to climb out of our Bunkers of Seclusion and Isolation.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)