Okay... here's a fast word association game:
What is the one word that comes to mind when you hear this incomplete sentence:
I am quick to...
Do you have a word that completes: "I am quick to [your word]"? Write your word down, and set it aside.
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| In what ways are you quick to respond? (Photo: Comic Con street scene - San Diego, 2019) |
To be honest, the word that completes my phrase is Judge... as in "I am quick to judge." Even now, I am judging why that word came to mind first! I have this built in -- or learned behavior -- to make a quick assessment or conclusion about a situation; I place a value on what I see or hear; I want -- or need -- clarity and boundaries. In essence, I want to know if I belong or am safe.
I have noticed another word emerging in our world today: people seem to be "Quick to Hate." I wonder what is generating this emergence: misunderstandings, inaccurate conclusions, fear... or maybe a desire that you BLM ("Be Like Me")?
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| How would you like to respond? (Photo: Comic Con street scene - San Diego, 2018) |
I wonder how many of us had different "Quick to..." words, like Love, Compassion, Respect, Accept, Bless, or Understand? Did anyone say, "I am quick to be Curious"?
In past blogs, I have mentioned Chris Argyris' Ladder of Inference. (Click here to read MindTools' description of the Ladder of Inference.)
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| Can you respond in creative and life-giving ways? (Photo: Sand Sculpture Contest - San Diego, 2018) |
The Ladder is a tool to help us notice and understand many of our autopilot reactions. A situation occurs -- which is based in reality and facts. We begin to filter reality by selecting what we understand or can relate to. As we move up the rungs of the Ladder, we interpret, assume, and make conclusions based on our selected facts. We reinforce our beliefs and act accordingly.
Moving up the Ladder -- in my case -- uses my "Quick to skill": I judge others. To move down the Ladder and back to reality and the facts, I must develop other skills:
- I must become curious.
- I must discuss, understand, or accept other people's viewpoints.
- I must become compassionate or non-violent towards myself and others.
I wonder what your "Quick to" word is -- the word you set aside earlier. And, what skill could be practiced to come down your Ladder?
Maybe we can set aside our "Quick to" words of judging, hating, and misunderstanding -- and practice new skills together of compassion, respect, and curiosity.
What do you think?
I am quick to judge, too. I appreciate you reminding us of the tools available to create and practice new ways of responding and engaging with the world. Thanks so much, Larry.
ReplyDeleteBrenda... thanks for your comments! (I don't know why it defaults to Anonymous. I had to "Sign In" to my Google account -- top right -- and then Reply... it then allowed me to select Google Account rather than Anonymous. Not sure if that is the same for you and others who read the blog.)
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