Hidden... Until Revealed

A recent trip was impacted by Hurricane Milton... positively impacted in that our trip was extended!  The most difficult part was rescheduling flights... with very few options available.  We made all of the revised flight times and tight connections... accompanied with the stress and worry in these types of situations.

Sitting back and relaxing on the final segment home, I was reminded of other flights where the clouds parted and I could see the mountains below.

I wondered:  Are there things we do not see clearly when we are in difficult situations?

What is hidden from our view?
(Photo: Colorado Rockies - Larry Gardepie)

Similar thoughts came to mind when I returned home from a weekend of reunions and memories.  Dropping through the coastal clouds near home, I found myself straining to see familiar sights below.

I reflected on the differences between living through trying times and remembering the same events years later... looking for What is Known and learning from What is Being Revealed.

I wonder:  Do our memories soften or harden over time as we gain perspective?

When do we become aware of what is being revealed?
(Photo: San Diego Bay terrace - Larry Gardepie)

The same might be said of our day-to-day interactions with family and friends:

• We focus on what we know and don't see the Unknown.
• We react to the routine rather than respond to the Extraordinary.
• We stay hidden instead of bringing to light our Inner Being.
  

I wonder:  Do we have the capacity to seek what is hidden and celebrate what has been revealed?

Can we reflect clearly what is before us?
(Photo: Reflections - Larry Gardepie

Harsh words may need to be forgiven.  Perceived slights might be questioned.  Misunderstandings could be discussed.

What other ways would you suggest to Reveal the Hidden?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Prickly Situations

I assume that we have had situations where we didn't know what to say: harsh words at home; misunderstandings at work; an inability to find the right words.  I want to believe that this is a human dilemma that we all face.

The aftereffects are the prickly or difficult conversations that often are ignored or avoided... only to discover later on that the issues have not been resolved

Do you focus on the thorns or the flowers?
(Photo: Neighborhood Cactus - Larry Gardepie)

These thoughts were going through my mind as I walked around my neighborhood this past week.  I have been a consultant for a local nonprofit's leadership team for several years.  Supervisors talk through issues where they are struggling to find answers.  We discuss various approaches to their situations, searching for solutions that make sense for them and their employees.

What has surprised me is how often no action is taken: sometimes, the situation resolves itself; oftentimes, it is ignored!

How close do you get to the thorny parts of life?
(Photo:  Wrigley Memorial and Botanic Gardens,
Avalon, Santa Catalina Island - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder why we ignore difficult situations:

• We are overloaded and don't have the time or the energy?
• We hope the problem will disappear?
• We are afraid of making the situation worse?

I would agree that not all problems have easy solutions, and I could be convinced that distance sometimes allows people to step back and consider different approaches.

Can you see beauty in any situation?
(Photo:  Neighborhood Cactus - Larry Gardepie)

What confuses me is when some supervisors describe the same situation over and over... and have done nothing to explore or settle the issue.    Why no action when the issue hasn't disappeared, resolved itself, and is ever present?

In moments of confusion and not understanding, I turn inward and wonder how often I do the same thing!

As we face uncomfortable situations in our lives, maybe we need a family member or friend to point out our patterns... walk with us through these thorny patches... and encourage us to break our cycles of fear and inaction.

Just look at nature:  even the thorniest of plants have beautiful flowers to be discovered... and so do we when we continue to grow and blossom!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Assumptions, Conclusions, and Late Nights

How easy it is to make assumptions... and assume they are right!  Oftentimes in the middle of the night, my mind will be unraveling the events of the day, trying to make sense of what was said, how I could have responded, and ways to rectify a situation.

Last night was no exception!  Anything electrical around the house is relegated to "The Professionals."  Since our contractor/handyman moved out of the area, we haven't had anyone to help with these tasks.

How do you respond when things fall apart?
(Photo credit:  Domino Breaches, CyberHoot)

Using Home Depot's ProReferral website, I was able to submit a request and have local professionals respond.  Talking to one of the electrical companies, we agreed on the project scope, price, and when it could be done.  We received and okayed the estimate.  Outstanding tasks: we needed to send pictures of the items we purchased and the company would call with a time when they would be onsite.

The next day I received a phone call from the electrician who would be completing the project: we finalized the cost; I texted the pictures; and he confirmed the time he would be at our house.

When do you veer off course?
(Photo: Grand Canyon Railroad, Arizona,
Larry Gardepie)

Follow me so far?  That night I replayed what had happened during the day, and wondered if Tom (the electrician who called) was from the company who agreed to do the work.  Or, was I still receiving referrals from the website?

On the call I assumed he was from the contracted company, but I never asked.  Being new to the ProReferral website, I didn't know how to stop any further referrals -- I assumed that once I had agreed to do business with one of the companies, the "match" would indicate to others that the request was closed.

The late night replay raised questions in my mind about my assumptions and conclusions.

How do you get back on course?
(Photo: Bright Angel Trailhead, Grand Canyon,
Larry Gardepie)

Through a series of texts and phone calls I found out that I had booked two different electricians!  My assumptions and conclusions were reasonable -- the company was waiting for my photos of the purchased items; we were waiting for a scheduling window; Tom's phone call occurred at the exact time that these two outstanding tasks should have been happening.

What was missing:  asking questions; checking out my assumptions; confirming what was known.

All is well -- we now have one electrician scheduled to complete the electrical work but I am tired today because of the late night unraveling of my unspoken thoughts!  I am learning that if I want to sleep peacefully at night, I must check out assumptions and question my conclusions... preferably as they are happening!

Do your assumptions or conclusions lead you in directions you did not anticipate?

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Frozen or Missing the Connection?

Our world relies so heavily on being connected: phones, computers, mobile devices...  And since COVID, internet speed and stable video connections have become critical for team meetings, online classes, church services... and Happy Hours with friends!

Recently, a friend and I were having an online meeting when one or both of our images would freeze and the audio would become garbled or would go out entirely.

At first we weren't sure if it was an individual router, if it was system-wide, if it was the video conferencing service...  The list of what could be the problem and how to troubleshoot seemed endless!

How do you know when communication is frozen?
(Photo credit:  Top Icy Faces from Canada's Winter
Running Scene, Running Magazine)

   

But, what was the most frustrating: after we corrected the issue the first time, we assumed we had a good connection and continued with the meeting.... then it would happen again.  We would troubleshoot, fix the problem, assume we had a good connection and continue with the meeting!  After the third or fourth repetition, we stopped and talked through other options.

Reflecting on our situation, we noticed that neither of us said anything early on.  We would become distracted, trying to fix the problem on our side.  We did not immediately tell the other person what was happening.  In fact, on my part I even tried to piece together the part of the conversation I heard... and started filling in the blanks of what I did not hear!

Do you ever wonder what is below the surface?
(Photo credit:  The Largest Icebergs
in History, The Active Times)

  

It wasn't until one of us shared that our connection was freezing and we had missed whole parts of the Story Told, that the Story Untold was revealed:  the issue wasn't individual but was shared.

I wonder:  how often, when we encounter a problem, do we immediately describe what we are experiencing?  Or do we try to solve the problem individually?

 

After all, there may be more going on below the surface!

Is it time to unfreeze any relationships?

 In Moments of Vulnerability we begin to realize our need to:

• Share what we are seeing or what is happening individually.
• Recognize that more may be happening below the surface.
  
• Acknowledge that a broader solution may be needed to reconnect.
  

Just think:  if we choose to sit individually with a problem... we just might become cold, wet, and frozen... together!

As winter weather settles in, may we learn to connect by warming up our relationships -- inviting people in, sharing food and drink, and allowing vulnerability to reconnect us!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)