History Tells Us: Voices From Our Past

Boston is one city that all Americans should experience.  It overflows with voices from our past: ordinary people who lived, breathed, and fought for freedom.  As I walked around the city, American History came alive when I saw Old North Church, Paul Revere's statue, and other places that evoked the Boston Tea Party, the Midnight Ride, and Lexington and Concord.

Our hotel, being located in the midst of these historical sites, contained a series of wall panels with important quotes about liberty, justice, and the Common Good. 

How do you make good use of your freedom?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo: John Adams,
Boston Harborside Inn - Larry Gardepie)

I have been reflecting on these wall panels over the past several weeks:

• Do we listen to the lessons of previous generations?
• Are we able -- or willing -- to change our current course?
• What inspires us to work for the good of others?

Do your actions inspire others?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo: John Quincy Adams,
Boston Harborside Inn - Larry Gardepie)

What troubles me about the recent violence and rhetoric?  We are no longer involved in Civil Discourse.  Leaders and representatives from our earliest foundations disagreed on how to move forward, but they tried to engage in constructive, respectful, and productive conversations. Yes, they represented diverse colonies and interests, but they learned to listen to the needs of the other colonists as well.

What can you do for our country now?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo: John F. Kennedy,
Boston Harborside Inn - Larry Gardepie)

This engagement carried responsibilities that future leaders understood: to perfect this imperfect union (Inspiration); to ask what you can do for others (Service); to learn to live together (Community).

These values and other truths became self-evident.

Are we living together or perishing?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo: Martin Luther King, Jr.,
Boston Harborside Inn - Larry Gardepie)

Questions we may want to consider in the weeks ahead:

• Do I (we) listen to voices that divide... and why?
• Am I (we) living in fear of others... and why?
• How can I (we) listen and work toward healing?

As John Adams asks of us:  Do we understand how much our freedom cost previous generations? Are we making good use of that freedom?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Turning Point: What Will You Choose?

I remember wise people in my life who suggested that I use the time at stoplights to pray, call to mind people who have impacted my life, moments of gratitude, or sitting in silence without music or news.

These suggestions came to mind recently in Akureyri, Iceland.  The town decided that the red light on all stoplights should be a Red Heart!

Stop... to love?  Stop... to care?  Stop... to be kind? 

When do you stop to love?
(Photo: Akureyri, Iceland - Heart Stoplights
- Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Maybe the Turning Point our world needs right now is to Stop... and Make a Choice that draws us together rather than separating us even further.

Another memory from my Catholic elementary school:  when tensions rose on the playground and classmates would shout "I hate you" at one another, the Religious Sister would remind us of Jesus' command... we are called to love one another!

What signals do you give others?
(Photo: Paul Revere statue pointing
at Old North Church window where lanterns
were placed, Boston - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

I wonder what signals we are giving each other: One, if we Hate; Two, if we Love?

• Are we still in the schoolyard yelling at each other?
• Do our misunderstandings say, "I hate you"?
• How do we follow the Golden Rule when we aren't happy?

Or, do we expect someone else to remind us to Stop... and Love... or Care... or Be Kind?  What if... you -- or possibly, we -- are now the adults who are called to stop the hate?

Are you willing to reach across the divide?
(Photo:  Hands Across the Divide,
Derry-Londonderry, Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

It takes each one of us to Notice, Choose Non-violence, and Decide how we want to move forward.  As Sister would say, "You don't have to like everyone... but you are called to love everyone."

Like the citizens of Akureyri, can we change how we see the Red (or Blue or Purple) in others and replace it with a heart that reaches across the divide that separates?

What will you choose? 
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Turning Point: Are You Ready?

Noticing that we are not happy is when a Turning Point begins.  Awareness exposes us to outcomes we could not see while we were angry, frustrated, confused, isolated...

As mentioned in last week's post (Turning Point: Are You Happy?), the stances of Noticing, Non-violence, and Non-Defended Learning allow us to Turn Together by unlocking our hearts and minds to curiosity, questions, and understanding.

What symbol have you used to show your love for another?
(Photo:  Love Lock on Rotterdam Bridge
 - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Turning Points allow us to see differing viewpoints and distant horizons.  Yes, we may not agree on what we see, but the challenge is to stay in relationship and describe what we see and the meanings we have attached.

The actual turning point is the ability to turn away from anger, hatred, and violence -- the second stance of Non-violence! -- and experience the Need for Connection.

How many "mountains" do you see in any situation?
(Photo: Waterway outside Paamiut, Greenland
- Larry Gardepie, 2025)

When we share our thought processes -- that is, how we came to specific understandings and conclusions -- we start our journey to Self- and Other-Discovery.  Abandoning "defending my position at all costs" and turning towards listening to another facet of reality allows us to look back and see the decisions we made based on the information available at that time.

Together, with new information, we have a choice on how to move forward.

Do you see the wake of your decisions?
(Photo: Ship's Wake in Prince Christian Sound,
Greenland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

These reflections are being written before Charlie Kirk's memorial service.  I must admit, I am worried about the messages that may be given.  Loss is accompanied by anger, sorrow, and pain.  But my fear is that some people may use the occasion to call for vengeance and blame, pointing to perceived enemies.

This is where my concerns and filters get in the way.

• Can I listen without judgment?
• Will I agree or disagree?
• How can I stay in relationship? 

All of us have questions we must answer over the coming days as our nation struggles between ideologies.

Maybe the eulogies won't be what I fear, but am I at a turning point -- am I ready -- to admit that my assumptions are wrong?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Turning Point: Are You Happy?

News this week:  more shootings... more dead and injured... more assumptions and incorrect conclusions... more blaming.  No solutions.  No healing.  What is happening to our world?  What is happening to us?

I read online and have heard many people saying, "Is this a turning point? Are we ready to change course?"

What do you think: are we?

Are you happy?
(Photo: Dead Fish Skin, Djúpivogur, Iceland
- Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Questions I ask myself -- and each of you:  Am I happy?  Are you happy?  How does this news make us feel?  Some have expressed anger, frustration, confusion, isolation, and impotence.  What are your thoughts?  How are you feeling right now?

Maybe it is a turning point... if we each make a choice.  Are you ready to choose?

What emotions are boiling below the surface?
(Photo: Thermal Vents, Iceland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

There may be some answers in the two-year Dialogue Practicum I participated in.  We learned about three stances that assist in the practice of dialogue:

• Noticing (awareness)
• When do we not notice... and therefore cannot act freely?
• When do we notice... and can choose to respond differently? 
• Non-Violence 
•  When do I think ill of myself or others... and do violence to both?
• When do I respect myself and others... and practice non-violence? 
• Non-defended Learning
• When are we defended or defensive... and our ability to work with others is limited? 
• When do we support individuals and groups... and pursue options that benefit everyone? 

What happens if we don't change course?
(Photo:  Icebergs off the Greenlandic coast - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Is the Turning Point in ourselves:

• The Awareness that we are not happy with the current state of our world?
• The Choice not to do harm to Self or Other?
•  The Practice of asking questions and trying to understand?

If we are not happy, let's Turn Together and seek a new way of being.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

We See What We See

Have you ever looked at a picture or a landscape, thought you appreciated its beauty or understood its place in creation, and then did a double-take and realized you had missed something important?  That has happened to me several times this past month!

The first was a National Geographic picture on Facebook that popped up in my feed.  I saw several horses in a desert location.  Interesting photo of Connection and Isolation.

Then I read the caption under the photo, and was I surprised at my misguided interpretation!

What do you see?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Picture of the Year, National Geographic)

A similar experience happened when our ship entered the waterways leading into Paamiut, Greenland.  The ship's foghorn had been sounding every 20 minutes the evening before our first Greenland port:  thick fog had clung to us throughout the Labrador Sea.

In the morning light, we had our first sighting of Greenland, shrouded in mist.  I took a digital photo with my phone, looked at the photo, and then looked back at the view before me.  The photo looked like 3 different images had been superimposed or overlaid, but this was real!  There were a series of mountain fjords filled with fog adding dimension and depth. 

Do you allow time to look back and wonder?
(Photo: Waterway leading to Paamiut,
Greenland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Lately I have been questioning what I see:  it's okay to See What We See -- "it is what it is."  But do we ever wonder if there is something more, something missing or not seen at first glance?

Dialogue is similar:  We hear what we hear... but, do we:

• Wonder if we understood the other person correctly?
• Revisit the conversation to explore differing viewpoints?
• Go Deeper in our curiosity and questioning?

What pool do you play in?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis - Dec 10, 2023)

I believe that life is filled with opportunities:  second glances; re-do's on conversations; considering another perspective.  I also believe that we are challenged today by distractions, negativity, and toxic environments.

As Pig concluded in Pearls Before Swine, "Life is all about the pool you play in." 

One question for us to consider as we see what we see:  "What Pool of Life am I playing in?"  And maybe a follow-up question: "Why did I choose that pool?"

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Masks: What Are We Hiding?

Announcement:  "There will be a masquerade party tonight!"  Great!  But we didn't know there would be a masquerade party, and we hadn't brought a mask!  I wonder if we could wear a COVID mask... or would that project a negative message?!

This brief situation -- an unexpected invitation, followed by a mild panic, then questioning what would be appropriate -- ended just as quickly:  the host would provide masks!

Are you aware when you put on a mask?
(Photo: Statue on ms Zuiderdam - Larry Gardepie)

This is how a blog theme begins!  Throughout any given week I notice a hesitation or a bump along my road in life.  I begin to wonder what was said or just happened, and then I reflect on my reaction and how I might have responded differently.

 An announcement for a party suddenly became a reflection on masks!

• Am I aware of the masks I put on? 
• How do others see these masks?
• Is there a way to remove the mask and be myself?

And maybe a more important question:  WHY do I wear these masks?

What does your mask look like?
(Photo: Statue on ms Zuiderdam - Larry Gardepie)

I don't have answers yet for these questions, but what I am realizing is that some masks are created:

• Out of fear of what others might think of me;
• To protect myself from these fears; and,
• As a way to project who I want to be.

In addition, maybe it comes down to expectations of myself and expectations that others have of me... that is, expectations I have accepted and put on, like a mask!

How do you interpret other people's masks?
(Photo: JM, ms Zuiderdam crew member - Larry Gardepie)

As I dig deeper, I wonder what I -- or we-- might be hiding:

• Feelings of incompetence?
• Fear of being rejected?
• Not feeling accepted?

I guess it is okay to put on a mask of calm or patience when working with others who are afraid or who are trying to learn... but some of our masks might isolate and give a false sense of security.

Maybe it is time to notice our various masks.  Maybe it is time to talk about what our masks mean.  Maybe it is time to take the risk of lowering a mask or two and being accepted for the beautiful people we are. 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Being Shaped

I have had the opportunity to watch glass blowing in Ireland, Italy, Mexico, and the United States.  I am impressed by the artists' skills, patience, and ability to imagine a Shape Unrevealed.  From an unpracticed eye, seeing a a blob of molten glass expanding and being formed into a vase, horse, hummingbird, or flower is mesmerizing.

It takes years of practice to perfect these skills and artistry... as it takes years for us to practice our dialogue and interpersonal skills.

What do you see in this molten blob?
(Photo:  Glass Blowing, Waterford Crystal, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

These reflections were forming when our tour group walked from station to station in the Waterford Crystal Factory: red-hot glass being formed into predefined shapes, followed by the smoothing of the cooled-down product... and quality inspection; grids being marked off to guide the etcher into cutting intricate patterns... followed by quality inspection; creating non-blown shapes into musical instruments, flags, awards, and memorial displays... and inspection!

Several people and various methods were required to create different outcomes, always followed by inspection. 

What values are etched in your heart and mind?
(Photo: Crystal Etching, Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As we practice our dialogue skills, we follow similar methods:

• Someone is needed to blow life into an observation, opinion, or assumption.
• Others are needed to shape, reshape or etch the mental discussion guides.
• All of us are required to review and inspect the products of our interactions.

It is important to Practice our skills as we test ideas and assumptions.  Equally important is the Inspection of the interaction and the relationship.

Is this the shape you had in mind?
(Photo: Crystal Celtic Harp, Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

We must be open to creating habits (practices) that allow improvement (inspection).  And, like the glass blowers and artisans, we must be willing to discard whatever spoils our finished product and accept responsibility for our part in the conversation.

As we meet with family and friends this week, let's consider a few questions:

• Do we have preset patterns of how to engage?
• Can we visualize other outcomes?
• Are we willing to inspect and improve our interpersonal skills?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Transformations Revealed

Hearing about the decline of the Monarch Butterflies we decided to plant milkweed in our front yard as a way to support their food source.  It took one or two years for the plants to take hold, but now we have four established plants... and we have monarch caterpillars and butterflies enjoying our labor!

The milkweed plants have beautiful red, yellow, and orange flowers with elongated green leaves.  What I didn't realize is how much the caterpillars would eat!  They DEVOUR the plants down to the stems!

Where do you get nourishment?
(Photo: Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

At times we have had adults and children stopping by and watching the Monarchs flitting about... and then notice the caterpillars crawling all over the plants.  One child asked me the first year, "You don't mind them eating the plants?"

That question stopped me: we also have fruit trees and vegetable plants where I become upset when the insects take over and denude the plants.  Why not the milkweed?  Why am I not upset at the Monarchs? 

How much do you share what you have?
(Photo: Milkweed and Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

I guess my response to the child ("No, I don't mind") depended on context:  the Monarchs need our help to survive and the milkweed was planted for that purpose.  Plus, I had no other use for the milkweed except for being connected to the natural cycle of life.

I was growing the oranges, tomatoes, basil, watercress, arugula, chard, and rosemary, on the other hand, for our dinner table. 

What happens when you are transformed?
(Photo: Milkweed Flowers and Monarch Butterfly - Larry Gardepie)

A child's innocent question invited me to consider when and how I share my abundance.  And... that is where our transformation begins:

• Our ability to ask or listen to a question;
• Our openness to honestly reflect on our experiences; and,
• Our willingness to change.

What transformation or metamorphosis have you experienced lately? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Beauty Beyond

My father grew up on a Midwestern farm.  He loved to garden and had a wonderful way with plants.  One day we were walking by a house in downtown Salinas where the front yard had a variety of plants that looked overgrown and unkempt.  I made a comment about how ugly it looked.

Dad suggested that I not judge others by what I see.  We don't know their circumstances and just because their yard didn't look like ours didn't mean it was ugly, bad, or wrong. 

How do you measure beauty?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

Decades later I still remember his comments.  His words and the lesson were important, but it was the manner in how he guided my young mind that stays with me:

• His words were non-judgmental.
• His approach was gentle.
• He spoke with understanding and compassion.

This familial memory came to mind while walking through the cultured gardens of Blarney Castle.  The grounds were beautiful and well-manicured, but were they any more attractive than that Salinas garden years earlier?

Are there other ways to see beauty?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

We rely on what we see or hear... but, I must remind myself, there is always so much more that we haven't seen or heard!  For instance, when you walk into a room and see two people deep in conversation, do you sometimes create a complete story about the fragment of conversation you overheard?  Our minds rapidly fill in the gaps with what we already know!

Do we ever stop and wonder about the conversation that happened before we entered the room or after we have passed by? It's as if everything starts and stops with us and our experiences! 

Does beauty change over time?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

In reflective moments like this I am reminded of H. W. Mann's phrase "Beauty is more than skin deep."  It's a suggestion not to be fooled by the surface level of what we see, hear, or experience.  It's a hint to spend more time looking for the Beauty Beyond.

As we engage with people this week, let's cultivate our questions and feed our curiosity about what is Happening Beyond us.  Let us settle not for the story we create but dig deeper to Understand Beyond what we know.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Crevices of Life: Where Life Grows

Nature is tenacious!  Have you noticed that plants grow in the most unexpected places?  I remember one of my OH (ornamental horticulture) instructors defined weeds as plants that are growing in places where we don't want them.

In looking up the definition of weeds, though, I found several less flattering definitions:

 "A valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop."

 "Any undesirable or troublesome plant, especially one that grows profusely 
  where it is unwanted."

How do we define beauty?
(Photo: flowering plant clinging to a brick wall,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

Wow!  A living member of creation that we define as valueless, wild, to the exclusion or injury (of what is desired), undesirable, troublesome, and unwanted.

Where have we heard those words recently?  Maybe how we look at people who find themselves without a permanent home?  Maybe how we see or fear immigrants in our community?  Maybe how we encounter or label family members who have a different outlook on or rhythm of life?

Where do we belong?
(Photo: delicate plant clinging to a rock wall,
Donegal, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

It begs a question of us:

Who are the "weeds" in our lives -- those people we set apart as valueless, wild, undesirable, troublesome, and unwanted?

Or, in other words, those people we exclude for fear of injury to ourselves and our way of life.

Depending on our answer, another question may surface:  Why?

What do you cling to?
(Photo:  flowering plant clinging to a retaining wall,
Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

If anything, maybe we can learn from nature:  be tenacious and bloom where you are planted!  Rather than seeing undesirables in the homeless and immigrant communities, can we reach into the crevices of our life and see sacred beauty, worth, and value?  Can we nurture and encourage?  Can we accept and include?

All of these questions require us to reflect deeply on our own separation and pain -- times when we might have been identified as unwanted or undesirable.  In addition, we are invited into dialogue about areas where we feel vulnerable, alone, and not valued.

Are you willing to reflect with me on the weeds in your life? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Another Irish Musing: Life Imitates...

Have you noticed that when we get away from our normal surroundings or out of our comfort zone:

• We pay attention a little more. 
• We notice things that are not familiar.
• We don't necessarily know what to say or do. 

It is as if our autopilot is turned off, and we are required to Respond rather than React.

This is one reason why I enjoy traveling outside my neighborhood and city -- I am challenged to think and feel!

What do you imitate?
(Photo:  Entrance to Pub-Gallery,
Belfast, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

An Irish Pub -- of all places! -- helped me to come to terms with expressions of familiarity and differences.  This particular pub had an outdoor art gallery filled with provocative paintings:  that is, the art pieces provoked feelings of closeness and intimacy to what I knew and understood... AND... they invited a new way of seeing or understanding the world.

For instance, as we entered the outdoor patio, the four corners displayed the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Conquest or Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death).  Looking closer at the people on the horses were figures of Kim Jong Un (representing Pestilence), Ali Khamenei (War), Donald Trump (Famine), and Vladimir Putin (Death).

What are you hungry for?
(Photo:  Great Famine Stained Glass Window,
Belfast City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Whether I agreed with or believed in the artist's message didn't matter: the art was an expression of another person's views that provoked me to think. 

The Belfast City Hall was another location filled with artwork and stained-glass windows.  One window in particular provided color to the Great Famines of the mid-1800s - part of the Irish history that lives on in their stories and ballads.

It was a reminder that our stories and histories intertwine as we live daily what is familiar... AND... move through Life's travels and broader realities. 

How do you add color to this world?
(Photo:  Stained Glass Windows, St. Patrick's Cathedral,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

The openness to experience and understand another perspective may be part of Life's Goal: recognizing that our limited time and place can only be expanded by listening, dreaming, and accepting Other.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting