Turning Point: Are You Happy?

News this week:  more shootings... more dead and injured... more assumptions and incorrect conclusions... more blaming.  No solutions.  No healing.  What is happening to our world?  What is happening to us?

I read online and have heard many people saying, "Is this a turning point? Are we ready to change course?"

What do you think: are we?

Are you happy?
(Photo: Dead Fish Skin, Djúpivogur, Iceland
- Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Questions I ask myself -- and each of you:  Am I happy?  Are you happy?  How does this news make us feel?  Some have expressed anger, frustration, confusion, isolation, and impotence.  What are your thoughts?  How are you feeling right now?

Maybe it is a turning point... if we each make a choice.  Are you ready to choose?

What emotions are boiling below the surface?
(Photo: Thermal Vents, Iceland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

There may be some answers in the two-year Dialogue Practicum I participated in.  We learned about three stances that assist in the practice of dialogue:

• Noticing (awareness)
• When do we not notice... and therefore cannot act freely?
• When do we notice... and can choose to respond differently? 
• Non-Violence 
•  When do I think ill of myself or others... and do violence to both?
• When do I respect myself and others... and practice non-violence? 
• Non-defended Learning
• When are we defended or defensive... and our ability to work with others is limited? 
• When do we support individuals and groups... and pursue options that benefit everyone? 

What happens if we don't change course?
(Photo:  Icebergs off the Greenlandic coast - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Is the Turning Point in ourselves:

• The Awareness that we are not happy with the current state of our world?
• The Choice not to do harm to Self or Other?
•  The Practice of asking questions and trying to understand?

If we are not happy, let's Turn Together and seek a new way of being.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

We See What We See

Have you ever looked at a picture or a landscape, thought you appreciated its beauty or understood its place in creation, and then did a double-take and realized you had missed something important?  That has happened to me several times this past month!

The first was a National Geographic picture on Facebook that popped up in my feed.  I saw several horses in a desert location.  Interesting photo of Connection and Isolation.

Then I read the caption under the photo, and was I surprised at my misguided interpretation!

What do you see?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Picture of the Year, National Geographic)

A similar experience happened when our ship entered the waterways leading into Paamiut, Greenland.  The ship's foghorn had been sounding every 20 minutes the evening before our first Greenland port:  thick fog had clung to us throughout the Labrador Sea.

In the morning light, we had our first sighting of Greenland, shrouded in mist.  I took a digital photo with my phone, looked at the photo, and then looked back at the view before me.  The photo looked like 3 different images had been superimposed or overlaid, but this was real!  There were a series of mountain fjords filled with fog adding dimension and depth. 

Do you allow time to look back and wonder?
(Photo: Waterway leading to Paamiut,
Greenland - Larry Gardepie, 2025)

Lately I have been questioning what I see:  it's okay to See What We See -- "it is what it is."  But do we ever wonder if there is something more, something missing or not seen at first glance?

Dialogue is similar:  We hear what we hear... but, do we:

• Wonder if we understood the other person correctly?
• Revisit the conversation to explore differing viewpoints?
• Go Deeper in our curiosity and questioning?

What pool do you play in?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis - Dec 10, 2023)

I believe that life is filled with opportunities:  second glances; re-do's on conversations; considering another perspective.  I also believe that we are challenged today by distractions, negativity, and toxic environments.

As Pig concluded in Pearls Before Swine, "Life is all about the pool you play in." 

One question for us to consider as we see what we see:  "What Pool of Life am I playing in?"  And maybe a follow-up question: "Why did I choose that pool?"

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Masks: What Are We Hiding?

Announcement:  "There will be a masquerade party tonight!"  Great!  But we didn't know there would be a masquerade party, and we hadn't brought a mask!  I wonder if we could wear a COVID mask... or would that project a negative message?!

This brief situation -- an unexpected invitation, followed by a mild panic, then questioning what would be appropriate -- ended just as quickly:  the host would provide masks!

Are you aware when you put on a mask?
(Photo: Statue on ms Zuiderdam - Larry Gardepie)

This is how a blog theme begins!  Throughout any given week I notice a hesitation or a bump along my road in life.  I begin to wonder what was said or just happened, and then I reflect on my reaction and how I might have responded differently.

 An announcement for a party suddenly became a reflection on masks!

• Am I aware of the masks I put on? 
• How do others see these masks?
• Is there a way to remove the mask and be myself?

And maybe a more important question:  WHY do I wear these masks?

What does your mask look like?
(Photo: Statue on ms Zuiderdam - Larry Gardepie)

I don't have answers yet for these questions, but what I am realizing is that some masks are created:

• Out of fear of what others might think of me;
• To protect myself from these fears; and,
• As a way to project who I want to be.

In addition, maybe it comes down to expectations of myself and expectations that others have of me... that is, expectations I have accepted and put on, like a mask!

How do you interpret other people's masks?
(Photo: JM, ms Zuiderdam crew member - Larry Gardepie)

As I dig deeper, I wonder what I -- or we-- might be hiding:

• Feelings of incompetence?
• Fear of being rejected?
• Not feeling accepted?

I guess it is okay to put on a mask of calm or patience when working with others who are afraid or who are trying to learn... but some of our masks might isolate and give a false sense of security.

Maybe it is time to notice our various masks.  Maybe it is time to talk about what our masks mean.  Maybe it is time to take the risk of lowering a mask or two and being accepted for the beautiful people we are. 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Being Shaped

I have had the opportunity to watch glass blowing in Ireland, Italy, Mexico, and the United States.  I am impressed by the artists' skills, patience, and ability to imagine a Shape Unrevealed.  From an unpracticed eye, seeing a a blob of molten glass expanding and being formed into a vase, horse, hummingbird, or flower is mesmerizing.

It takes years of practice to perfect these skills and artistry... as it takes years for us to practice our dialogue and interpersonal skills.

What do you see in this molten blob?
(Photo:  Glass Blowing, Waterford Crystal, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

These reflections were forming when our tour group walked from station to station in the Waterford Crystal Factory: red-hot glass being formed into predefined shapes, followed by the smoothing of the cooled-down product... and quality inspection; grids being marked off to guide the etcher into cutting intricate patterns... followed by quality inspection; creating non-blown shapes into musical instruments, flags, awards, and memorial displays... and inspection!

Several people and various methods were required to create different outcomes, always followed by inspection. 

What values are etched in your heart and mind?
(Photo: Crystal Etching, Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As we practice our dialogue skills, we follow similar methods:

• Someone is needed to blow life into an observation, opinion, or assumption.
• Others are needed to shape, reshape or etch the mental discussion guides.
• All of us are required to review and inspect the products of our interactions.

It is important to Practice our skills as we test ideas and assumptions.  Equally important is the Inspection of the interaction and the relationship.

Is this the shape you had in mind?
(Photo: Crystal Celtic Harp, Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

We must be open to creating habits (practices) that allow improvement (inspection).  And, like the glass blowers and artisans, we must be willing to discard whatever spoils our finished product and accept responsibility for our part in the conversation.

As we meet with family and friends this week, let's consider a few questions:

• Do we have preset patterns of how to engage?
• Can we visualize other outcomes?
• Are we willing to inspect and improve our interpersonal skills?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Transformations Revealed

Hearing about the decline of the Monarch Butterflies we decided to plant milkweed in our front yard as a way to support their food source.  It took one or two years for the plants to take hold, but now we have four established plants... and we have monarch caterpillars and butterflies enjoying our labor!

The milkweed plants have beautiful red, yellow, and orange flowers with elongated green leaves.  What I didn't realize is how much the caterpillars would eat!  They DEVOUR the plants down to the stems!

Where do you get nourishment?
(Photo: Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

At times we have had adults and children stopping by and watching the Monarchs flitting about... and then notice the caterpillars crawling all over the plants.  One child asked me the first year, "You don't mind them eating the plants?"

That question stopped me: we also have fruit trees and vegetable plants where I become upset when the insects take over and denude the plants.  Why not the milkweed?  Why am I not upset at the Monarchs? 

How much do you share what you have?
(Photo: Milkweed and Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

I guess my response to the child ("No, I don't mind") depended on context:  the Monarchs need our help to survive and the milkweed was planted for that purpose.  Plus, I had no other use for the milkweed except for being connected to the natural cycle of life.

I was growing the oranges, tomatoes, basil, watercress, arugula, chard, and rosemary, on the other hand, for our dinner table. 

What happens when you are transformed?
(Photo: Milkweed Flowers and Monarch Butterfly - Larry Gardepie)

A child's innocent question invited me to consider when and how I share my abundance.  And... that is where our transformation begins:

• Our ability to ask or listen to a question;
• Our openness to honestly reflect on our experiences; and,
• Our willingness to change.

What transformation or metamorphosis have you experienced lately? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Beauty Beyond

My father grew up on a Midwestern farm.  He loved to garden and had a wonderful way with plants.  One day we were walking by a house in downtown Salinas where the front yard had a variety of plants that looked overgrown and unkempt.  I made a comment about how ugly it looked.

Dad suggested that I not judge others by what I see.  We don't know their circumstances and just because their yard didn't look like ours didn't mean it was ugly, bad, or wrong. 

How do you measure beauty?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

Decades later I still remember his comments.  His words and the lesson were important, but it was the manner in how he guided my young mind that stays with me:

• His words were non-judgmental.
• His approach was gentle.
• He spoke with understanding and compassion.

This familial memory came to mind while walking through the cultured gardens of Blarney Castle.  The grounds were beautiful and well-manicured, but were they any more attractive than that Salinas garden years earlier?

Are there other ways to see beauty?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

We rely on what we see or hear... but, I must remind myself, there is always so much more that we haven't seen or heard!  For instance, when you walk into a room and see two people deep in conversation, do you sometimes create a complete story about the fragment of conversation you overheard?  Our minds rapidly fill in the gaps with what we already know!

Do we ever stop and wonder about the conversation that happened before we entered the room or after we have passed by? It's as if everything starts and stops with us and our experiences! 

Does beauty change over time?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

In reflective moments like this I am reminded of H. W. Mann's phrase "Beauty is more than skin deep."  It's a suggestion not to be fooled by the surface level of what we see, hear, or experience.  It's a hint to spend more time looking for the Beauty Beyond.

As we engage with people this week, let's cultivate our questions and feed our curiosity about what is Happening Beyond us.  Let us settle not for the story we create but dig deeper to Understand Beyond what we know.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Crevices of Life: Where Life Grows

Nature is tenacious!  Have you noticed that plants grow in the most unexpected places?  I remember one of my OH (ornamental horticulture) instructors defined weeds as plants that are growing in places where we don't want them.

In looking up the definition of weeds, though, I found several less flattering definitions:

 "A valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop."

 "Any undesirable or troublesome plant, especially one that grows profusely 
  where it is unwanted."

How do we define beauty?
(Photo: flowering plant clinging to a brick wall,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

Wow!  A living member of creation that we define as valueless, wild, to the exclusion or injury (of what is desired), undesirable, troublesome, and unwanted.

Where have we heard those words recently?  Maybe how we look at people who find themselves without a permanent home?  Maybe how we see or fear immigrants in our community?  Maybe how we encounter or label family members who have a different outlook on or rhythm of life?

Where do we belong?
(Photo: delicate plant clinging to a rock wall,
Donegal, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

It begs a question of us:

Who are the "weeds" in our lives -- those people we set apart as valueless, wild, undesirable, troublesome, and unwanted?

Or, in other words, those people we exclude for fear of injury to ourselves and our way of life.

Depending on our answer, another question may surface:  Why?

What do you cling to?
(Photo:  flowering plant clinging to a retaining wall,
Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

If anything, maybe we can learn from nature:  be tenacious and bloom where you are planted!  Rather than seeing undesirables in the homeless and immigrant communities, can we reach into the crevices of our life and see sacred beauty, worth, and value?  Can we nurture and encourage?  Can we accept and include?

All of these questions require us to reflect deeply on our own separation and pain -- times when we might have been identified as unwanted or undesirable.  In addition, we are invited into dialogue about areas where we feel vulnerable, alone, and not valued.

Are you willing to reflect with me on the weeds in your life? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Another Irish Musing: Life Imitates...

Have you noticed that when we get away from our normal surroundings or out of our comfort zone:

• We pay attention a little more. 
• We notice things that are not familiar.
• We don't necessarily know what to say or do. 

It is as if our autopilot is turned off, and we are required to Respond rather than React.

This is one reason why I enjoy traveling outside my neighborhood and city -- I am challenged to think and feel!

What do you imitate?
(Photo:  Entrance to Pub-Gallery,
Belfast, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

An Irish Pub -- of all places! -- helped me to come to terms with expressions of familiarity and differences.  This particular pub had an outdoor art gallery filled with provocative paintings:  that is, the art pieces provoked feelings of closeness and intimacy to what I knew and understood... AND... they invited a new way of seeing or understanding the world.

For instance, as we entered the outdoor patio, the four corners displayed the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Conquest or Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death).  Looking closer at the people on the horses were figures of Kim Jong Un (representing Pestilence), Ali Khamenei (War), Donald Trump (Famine), and Vladimir Putin (Death).

What are you hungry for?
(Photo:  Great Famine Stained Glass Window,
Belfast City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Whether I agreed with or believed in the artist's message didn't matter: the art was an expression of another person's views that provoked me to think. 

The Belfast City Hall was another location filled with artwork and stained-glass windows.  One window in particular provided color to the Great Famines of the mid-1800s - part of the Irish history that lives on in their stories and ballads.

It was a reminder that our stories and histories intertwine as we live daily what is familiar... AND... move through Life's travels and broader realities. 

How do you add color to this world?
(Photo:  Stained Glass Windows, St. Patrick's Cathedral,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

The openness to experience and understand another perspective may be part of Life's Goal: recognizing that our limited time and place can only be expanded by listening, dreaming, and accepting Other.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Another Irish Musing: Seeing Anew

Our Dublin local guide was excited about showing us this one window in a posh neighborhood of Ireland's capital city.  We were in for a surprise!

Apparently, a stuffed lion showed up in this €1,000,000 ($1.7 million USD) flat a few weeks back.  After all, how many people have a lion in the window?!

When do you expect to see the unusual?

(Photo: "How Much is that Doggy
in the Window?" - Larry Gardepie) 

What she didn't expect was the tiny dog in the window.  At first the dog also looked stuffed... a strange juxtaposition against the lion ... but, after a few minutes, the dog suddenly moved!

It made for a fun moment on our final full day in Ireland, the land of leprechauns, faeries, and "wee spirits":  what we expect to see is not always what we see!

How can you see something anew?

(Photo:  Blarney Castle through a Hole
in the Obelisk - Larry Gardepie)

This can be said of each moment of our day:

• We make plans... and then the plans need to change;
• We create To Do Lists... and nothing seems to get done;
• We focus our energy on helping others... and they hardly seem to notice.

Similar to the doggie in the window, the question becomes one of presence and paying attention.  The dog was so focused on people passing by that we misunderstood what we were seeing.  Once the dog moved, our understanding shifted.

Can you reach across what divides?

(Photo: "Hand from the Sea" sculpture, 
Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

The "Hand from the Sea" sculpture at the confluence of the Johns and Suir Rivers in Waterford, Ireland, depicts a hand reaching out from the sea and another hand reaching from nature (or the sky).  One is intertwined with seaweed and fish; the other has branches and birds.

It shows that we can come from different parts of the world... intertwined with our familial or cultural importances... and still touch one another.

This is what is important... the newness... the unexpected... the reaching out and touching another being.  It's the meeting where We-They are joined In-The-Moment.

Are you ready to See Anew this week? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

More Irish Musings: Life Among the Ruins

Several friends and their families have been journeying through health issues these past several months:  cancer treatments, hospital stays, rehabilitation... and, for a few, final days.  It's difficult to grapple with mortality, especially since so much of our lives have ignored this all-too-human reality.

We notice the decline in our abilities, and we wonder when we became mortal.  How can we support one another in these moments of vulnerability?

Where do you find support?

(Photo: Round Tower and Headstones,
Glendalogh Monastery, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As our tour group traveled south from Dublin to the Wicklow Mountains on our last day in Ireland, I was holding these friends in prayer.  It seemed a fitting reflection on this final day on this journey.  Our destination: Glendalough Monastery, established over one thousand years ago by St. Kevin.  He wanted to live apart as a hermit, but his holiness soon attracted men and women from the surrounding areas who wanted to live in community.

When we arrived, hundreds of people were already walking among the ruins of these monastic grounds.  But, even with all these fellow travelers, the place was peaceful, holy, and contemplative.

What do you seek?

(Photo:  Markers and Headstones,
Glendalough Cemetery - Larry Gardepie)

The grounds were a photographer's paradise!  So many beautiful angles and sights:  moving slowly, changing direction, Noticing Life among the Headstone-Reminders of Life Gone -- flowers, rolling hills, babbling streams, bees and butterflies...  Life among the Ruins!

In the monastery's Cathedral, one step to the left revealed colorful rays of light streaming into the ruins.

Can you step aside and see anew?

(Photo: Remains of Glendalough Cathedral - Larry Gardepie)

Maybe our support for friends and community is the ability to Step Aside... and allow Life to reenter what was considered An Ending.  Maybe in Dialogue, we are invited to set aside our Gift of Talking... and treasure our Ability to Listen.  Maybe in the Silence of Death we notice Messages of Hope.

Over 1,000 years after Glendalough was established as a Monastic City, people still travel there in search of life among the ruins.

Where can we see life and messages of hope this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

More Irish Musings: Where is Our Loyalty?

Sitting in an airport waiting for our next flight, I began noticing the artwork around me.  A series of wavy colored beads caught my attention: it looked like an artist's version of the American flag (red, white, and blue).  How creative!  How patriotic!

Then I remembered I was in London Heathrow and the colors were both the colors of their national flag and those of British Airways... Oops!

(Did you know that more than twelve countries have flags with red, white, and blue as primary colors?  United States of America, United Kingdom, France, Russia, Netherlands, Australia...)

What catches your attention?
(Photo: Airport Artwork - Larry Gardepie)

What caught my attention and how I connected the information may not have been what the artist or the commissioning benefactor had in mind.  Instead, I took what I knew or understood and filtered or projected another meaning.  Does this happen to you as well?

These thoughts lingered throughout the next week as our tour group traveled throughout Northern Island, and we were introduced to art, landmarks, symbols, and messages of struggle and peace.

What stories do we tell along our journey?
(Photo: Downhill Trek to the Giants Causeway,
Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

For example, visiting the Giants Causeway along the northern coastline between Belfast and Derry-Londonderry, we were introduced to an ancient myth of Irish and Scottish giants who created a causeway (rock bridge) between these two islands.  The giants wanted to prove who was bigger and stronger.  Their focus?  Individual loyalty - who was better.

Scientifically, we now have a different understanding about how these rock formations were created, but it was interesting to ponder how we all create stories... myths and legends... about what we don't know.  This includes what we don't know about other people!

Can our stories bend and change over time?
(Photo credit:  song by Jeffrey Buckley and Elizabeth Fraser)

Now that I am home and celebrating this American holiday weekend, I wonder:

• What stories have we created about patriotism and loyalty?
• How do we seek out and allow new information to change us?
• Can we test the accuracy of these myths and legends? 

As we journey with one another, let us consider an Augustinian way of thinking and living, where we are called:

• To be loyal to Truth (veritas), Unity (unitas), and Love (caritas).

And where:

• Truth provides a common foundation;
• Unity creates a common framework; and
• Love provides a motivation and compassion that allows everyone to flourish.

Happy Truth-Unity-Love Day! 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting