Live, Love, and Laugh

I don't know about you, but when I travel to another town, city, or country I am always comparing... what is similar or different; what feels familiar or foreign; what I can understand or not.

I experienced this Comparative Brain recently when I was in Manaus, Brazil.  There was enough that was similar or familiar that I felt At Home, but there were also sights and foods that were different or strange.

Are your thoughts and emotions tangled these days?
(Photo:  Tangled Wires in Manuas, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

It wasn't until I saw the tangled wires throughout this city of 2 million people (in the middle of the Amazon!), that I noticed the jumbled state of my mind: I was far from home; I didn't know the culture or history of this region; I was a guest being welcomed and invited to experience something new.

What am I discovering?  We sometimes need chaos in our lives to clarify what we miss or what is important.  And, it helps to encounter a person with a Kind Heart who understands and walks with us through our Uncomfortableness.

Are you protected from what floods your world?
(Photo: Village house on stilts, Boca da Valeria - Larry Gardepie)

Are there ways to prepare ourselves for this chaos?  Maybe... and maybe not!  We can reflect on what we value.  We can protect what is important.  But, in a complex world where we cannot control others, we might be able to anticipate only a portion of the Uncertainty Ahead.

What am I discovering?   How I respond to what I cannot control is based on the lessons and self-work prior to Chaos Arriving:

• How do I want to show up?
• Am I willing to welcome the strange and unfamiliar?
• What happens when I don't understand or like what is happening?
  

What word, phrase or mantra do you breathe?
(Photo credit: Facebook download)

As we mark these final days of our Lenten Journey or celebrate Spring's arrival or prepare for Passover, Holy Week, or Easter, maybe we can focus on the messages that are flooding our world right now:

• Can we walk together?
• Can we welcome the unfamiliar?
  
• Can we become a Kind Heart to someone else?

Let us take time to reflect on how we Live, Love, and Laugh!  Happy Every Day!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Our World Village

On our journey up the Amazon River, we visited a small village of 100 people, Boca da Valeria ("Mouth of the Valeria River").  Children gathered around us, holding visitors' hands, and leading us around their village.  Dressed in modern and traditional clothes, holding onto sloths, iguanas, and caimans, they wanted their photos taken.

We visited their school, saw their church, and wandered around their homes-on-stilts.  These industrious people had adapted to the ever-changing river that provided food, work, and recreation.

How do you welcome others into your world?
(Photo: Children in Traditional Dress,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Our visit meant a day off school, but it was a workday of sorts as they collected tourist dollars for food, river trips, pictures, and selling locally made handicrafts.  Though business was part of the day's focus, the overriding principles of Hospitality and Welcome were ever-present.

As visitors, we were members of their village for one day... part of their family.

What do you bring to the relationship?
(Photo: Young Boy and Baby Sloth,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

We were thousands of miles from home, yet I felt At Home.  Why?

We couldn't communicate in my language.  People spoke Portuguese or the local dialect.  We had some things in common -- kitchens, stoves, satellite dishes, but other things were unfamiliar or outdated -- outhouses, wildlife, houses on stilts six to eight feet high.

Why?  The adults and children accepted us.  They wanted to show us their Way of Life.  We were people meeting other people.  We were curious and interested in one another.

Can you create and give something of yourself?
(Photo:  Artisan and His Creation,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, I handed out a few dollars for pictures and handicrafts, but I never felt exploited or manipulated.  I felt Family and Togetherness... thousands of miles from home and friends.

As our world order and what we know changes, there may be questions for us to consider:

• Do I feel alienated and misunderstood?
• Can I accept people different from what is familiar?
• Am I willing to create a welcoming and understanding environment?

In a time when we may feel a lack of power or control over what is happening, I would suggest we can influence the outcome more than we think.

• We have a choice in how we define Family and Togetherness.
• We can develop Curiosity and Interest in others.
• We can Welcome All into our World Village.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Life A'Billowing

Were you fascinated by clouds when you were younger -- looking for shapes and patterns as the clouds passed overhead?  Then, did you notice a change later in life?  The shapes and patterns help us to understand the weather in our part of the world.  Our child-like wonder transformed into predictions and certainty.

 What is more useful in life:  wonder... predictability... certainty?  Maybe all three?

What do the clouds tell you?
(Photo:  Clouds over Amazon River - Larry Gardepie)

If I were to describe myself in one word, I would say that I am an Observer.  That is, I watch and listen... and then engage.  My curiosity takes hold, and I wonder and ask questions.  Later, when I see patterns that are predictable, I become certain that I am right about a person or a situation.

What happens, though, when life isn't that simple?

When do you feel dwarfed by a situation?
(Photo:  Amazon River and Distant Shores - Larry Gardepie)

The clouds were SPECTACULAR sailing up the Amazon River a few weeks ago.  The wide river and the distant shores were defined by these magnificent celestial bodies:  everything was dwarfed by these billowing giants!

So, if life isn't always simple, I wonder what might be defining the uncertainty and unpredictability?  Can we observe, engage, and allow curiosity to take hold so that we can ask questions and understand?

Can you see and address what is changing?
(Photo: A Changing River - Larry Gardepie)

The Amazon River Basin is a complex environment with over 1,000 tributaries flowing into the main river.  Along its route, some rivers join and change the brown Amazon.  In other places, a river's temperature and pH don't match the Amazon's, so the two rivers stay separate until they adjust and balance. (You might have the brown Amazon alongside the black Rio Negro or green Tapajós River!)

As we observe, engage, and ask questions, maybe we are following a similar process of adjusting and balancing what is important.  This doesn't mean that our value systems necessarily change.  Rather, for the first time, we might be hearing and understanding another way of thinking and being.  Can we live side-by-side until we are ready to trust and engage?

Wonder... predictability... certainty.  Life is a'billowing!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Images of Self

We're going to a zoo?  And then a national research institute?  I guess my San Diego-snobbery got in the way!  After all, San Diego has a "world famous zoo", a safari park, Seaworld, and Scripps Research Institute!

Boy, was I wrong!  I was trapped in one Way of Thinking -- that what I have is better.  I would have missed the beauty and variety of Amazonian mammals, marine life, and insects found only in this part of the world.

And, I would have missed being caught in an Amazon Rainforest downpour that  has to be experienced (at least once!).

Are there times when you feel trapped?
(Photo:  Amazon River Otter, Instituto Nacional
de Pesquisas da Amazonia, Manaus, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

It takes these moments of resistance...and flexibility... to accept an invitation for self-reflection:

• Who am I?
  
• Who am I in relation to others?
• Who am I in relation to the world?
  

We are challenged to ask other questions as well:  What makes where we live special?  Are we any better than others?  How can we experience anew -- with wonder and excitement -- the world we haven't encountered or don't understand?

How do you see yourself?
(Photo: Zooligico do CIGS, Manaus, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

While on this Amazonian reflective journey, I came across a quote attributed to Mother Teresa: 

 

No one in this world is pure and perfect.

If you avoid people for their mistakes,

you will be alone in this world.

So judge less and love more.

I have to admit, though, this is so difficult to live out in our polarized world where One Side won't even talk or listen to The Other!

What standards do you have for yourself and others?
(Photo credit: Facebook download)

How then do we get past our embedded ideologies?  Is it as simple as Judge Less and Love More?

So many questions this week!  What are your thoughts?  Have you found ways to engage in a diverse world where Our Snobberies are overcome, and we experience the Downpour of Love and Acceptance?

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

 

Promises... Made and Kept?

Rainy season can bring traffic snarls, flooded streets, and reminders that we are not in charge.  Sometimes we slow down and are more cautious as we go outside with rain coats, umbrellas, and other ways to protect ourselves.

With our long-delayed rainy season in Southern California, this past month has been a pleasant reminder that rain -- and sunshine! -- create conditions where rainbows populate our heavens: a biblical reminder that God made a promise never to destroy the earth by flood again.

How do you react when you see a rainbow?
(Photo: Rainbow over Rio Tapajós, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Promises and Reminders of Promises... these are charged words in today's news-flooded and politically snarled world.  For many people, it's another way of feeling that we are not in charge.

What do we need to protect ourselves in this current climate?  Where are the rainbows that can make us feel safe against real and perceived destruction?

What is promised at the end of your rainbow?
(Photo: Rainbow in the North Atlantic Ocean - Larry Gardepie)

I remember my mother telling me as a child not to make a promise I could not keep.  I guess that is why I am skeptical when someone makes a promise to me:

• Does this person have the ability to fulfill what was promised?
• Will the promise - kept or broken -- change our relationship?
• Are we equal partners as the results of the promise? 

You may have other questions or ways to understand promises, other ways to slow down and protect yourself from false agreements.  But, more importantly, where are the rainbows -- where light shines through our darkest times?

Where do you expect to see rainbows?
(Photo: Rainbow while out shopping, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

Time will tell whether the current climate changes.  But, through dialogue, we can shine light on what we hear: Promises Made -- Promises Understood -- Promises Unfulfilled -- Promises Kept.  Not to create a scorecard, but to support an understanding of our relationship.

To quote Dolly Parton:

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

Protect yourself during your storms... and hope for the rainbows!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Beautiful Change?

How do you feel about change?  Are you a change agent... on the front edge of change or a little more cautious?  We are going through unprecedented changes right now in our country and in the world.  What are your thoughts and feelings?

I came across an interesting photo on Facebook a few weeks ago:  a composite of twelve pictures of the sun over twelve months, taken from the same location and at the same time.

Isn't it beautiful to see the pathway of the sun in relation to the seasons of the year?

What changes do you see when you step back?
(Photo credit:  Beautiful Nature, Facebook group)

This photo demonstrates the ebbs and flows of nature when we step back a month at a time.  It illustrates the changes that we experience but sometimes forget or take for granted.

Change is always happening around us -- whether we admit it or not!

Are there times when life is cloudy and unclear?
(Photo: Cloud-Filled Sea Day, Larry Gardepie)

So back to the changes in our country and the world:  how are you experiencing them?  Moment by moment... or... stepping back and noticing the arc of where we are headed?

Are you concerned about the changes?  Why?  Are you okay with the changes?  Why?

When is change beautiful?
(Photo:  Flaming Sunset at Sea, Larry Gardepie)

Without trying to convince a partner, friend, or work colleague, are you able to:

• Talk about what you are seeing, thinking, and feeling?
• Listen to other perspectives and perceptions?
• Understand how change may be dividing or uniting us?
  

I believe this type of dialogue is necessary: that ability to talk about our fears and concerns, our agreements and acceptance, and where this arc of change may be taking us.

Without sharing our hopes and concerns, we won't be able to step back and distinguish the seasons of change nor the beauty of relationships.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Being Kind... A Wor[l]d Apart

Just wondering: when you hear the word, Kind, what goes through your mind?  What is your definition of Kindness?  How does a Kind Person behave?  Is a Kind Person considered strong or weak?

These thoughts went through my mind as I reflected on the contrast between various Kindness memes posted on Facebook and the reality of how some people express themselves in the Comments section of Facebook or on X ("formerly know as Twitter").

How do you respond when there are disagreements?
(Photo credit:  Facebook download)

Sometimes, there is a harshness and an accusatory nature to people's interactions online and in the written word.  What is off-putting:  The words?  The tone?  The labeling?

Kindness?  Am I missing the kindness in a person's raw honesty?  Or is kindness absent when we disagree?

Do you choose to be kind... all the time?
(Photo credit:  Banksy, Facebook download)

You can see that I have a lot of questions when it comes to What We Say and What We Do!  Oftentimes, kindness, respect, and understanding are missing when we disagree.  We protect ourselves from the other...Person? Ideas? Actions?

The phrase "I guess we agree to disagree" -- even when said kindly -- recognizes the barrier between us.

How do you make others feel?
(Photo credit: Winnie the Pooh Addict, Facebook download)

The dictionary lists many synonyms for Kind and Kindness -- compassionate, generosity, sympathy, tenderness -- but only one antonym -- cruel.

The choice might be very simple as we meet others and listen to their differing experiences:

• Do we want to show compassion... or cruelty?
• Do we want to be generous... or selfish?
• Do we want to sympathize... or ignore their humanity?

The contrasts are stark when looking at words and actions this way:  we may be words and worlds apart!

 We have a choice today: To Be Kind... or Not!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Our Wonderful and Crazy World

People seem to have formed a Love-Hate relationship with social media these days: a need for connection, community, and caring words when tragedy strikes -- versus -- unchecked verbal attacks, misunderstandings, and misinformation.  Some days I want to disconnect and retreat into my own world!

There are several Facebook sites that draw me back into common unity, though:  Danny Hale, an Hawaiian photographer who shares beautiful photos and peaceful videos of the islands; Banksy Arts Fans Forever, celebrating the artwork of "Banksy" - an English-based street artist and political activist; and Family Circus Comics, celebrating life through the eyes of the young and innocent.

Each offers a brief escape from this troubled world -- reminding me how beautiful, creative, and good we can be.

How are you tethered to Love?
(Photo credit:  Girl with Balloon - 2002, Banksy)

Banksy's artwork was originally viewed as graffiti.  But then, as people looked more deeply, his messages became iconic.  So iconic that people would pay thousands of dollars for one of his graphic works.  (If you haven't heard about his "Girl with Balloon" picture that was partially shredded after being sold at auction, click here.)

Messages matter: whether being approved or shredded by others.  Sharing who we are and who we want to become is part of our social DNA.

What do you teach others through your words and actions?
(Photo credit:  Teach Peace, Banksy)

For me, I am deciding how I might survive this craziness:

• What is my life's message: honesty, integrity, kindness, caring, support.
  
• Where is this message rooted: faith, love, community, inclusion, peace.
  
• How will I explore this message: dialogue and listening, challenging conversations, service to others, acceptance of differences.
  

Each of us must answer how much hatred, bigotry, racism, and misogyny we are willing to accept... so our Life Message becomes important.

When will you engage your message?
(Photo credit:  If Not Now, Then When?, Banksy)

Are we happy with the daily news stories?  If no, why?  If yes, why?  Let's talk about what we are seeing and experiencing!

 

Are we aware of good news in our communities?  If not, why not?  If yes, what is happening?  Let's re-balance our focus to share the Wonderful... and not just the Crazy!

 

Mahatma Gandhi's invitation is critical today:  "Be the change you want to see in the world" and its often-quoted variation "Be the good you want to see."

 

Our Crazy World needs the Wonderful-in-You!  Where shall we begin?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Fragile Bubble Ideas Bursting

Cartoonists will use a bubble with words to display the characters' thoughts.  In our western culture, we have been taught to read left-to-right and top-to-bottom, so we read the frames of the comics and the thought-bubbles in that order.

Knowing the Rules helps us understand the sequence of ideas that is conveyed by the artist.  But that doesn't always work in the Real World!  Everything isn't always in sequence and orderly.

Try to read a comic strip from right to left or beginning in the middle:  you won't understand the comic's intent!

To many people who don't know us or our mind-set ("rules"), our thoughts may seem like soap bubbles that are created and float away.

How fragile are your thoughts?
(Photo:  Bubble Man, Sydney, Australia - Larry Gardepie)

Like a wave crashing on the shoreline, thoughts make their mark and then recede, leaving afterthoughts that soon fade away... or not, depending on the force of impact and duration!

Ideas, thoughts, and assumptions are similar.  They are fragile and momentary... until they solidify into conclusions and ideologies forced onto others: misunderstandings and misconceptions that burst forth and mark that other person.

Are there ideologies crashing against your values?
(Photo: Crashing Surf, Kona, Hawaii - Larry Gardepie)

Like it or not, we are living in a world of competing -- or warring? -- sides, each trying to destroy the other's way of thinking.  The issue I find with this approach?  Dialogue to understand another perspective is missing.  We are living in a Take No Prisoners approach!

To be successful in dialogue, we must honor and respect our values and what is important AND, at the same time, respect and honor the other person and their thoughts and ideas.

Are we being called to live with purple bubbles?
(Photo: Glass Spheres, ms Zaandam - Larry Gardepie)

I am struggling:  it seems like we have limited the coloring of our Fragile-Bubble-Making understanding of life with only Reds or Blues.  I am left wondering if we are missing the point of life:

• Transforming ourselves into something better;
• Balancing our views away from extreme positions;
• Seeking a way to move from Either-Or thinking to Both-And.

Is it possible to create rules that expand our understanding -- the convergence and mixing of all ideas -- while honoring and respecting both.

What would happen if our fragile thoughts and ideas were marked with a new Way of Being:  Respect, Honor, Kindness, and Acceptance.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Looking Up!

Have you ever noticed how you walk?  That is, do you look down, watching where you are going?  Do you look ahead and acknowledge people passing to your right and left?  Or do you look up and around your surroundings, taking in the world around you?  You may do all of these... and more!

The real question, though, is "Have you noticed?"

What do you see?
(Photo:  Iolani Palace staircase, Honolulu
- Larry Gardepie)

Several years ago, I was walking down a work corridor, looking down at the terrazzo-colored floor.  A work colleague, knowing my Catholic seminary background, saw me walking along and suggested that I was practicing the "custody of the eyes."

For those unfamiliar with this phrase, it simply means "controlling what you allow yourself to see."  What an interesting observation and projection this colleague made of my actions!

How often do you look up?
(Photo: Palm Treetops, Hilo - Larry Gardepie)

In all honesty, I was walking along noticing the many breaks in the terrazzo siding -- where doors once existed and were now replaced.  I was wondering about the offices in this building, how they have changed over time to meet the needs of the people passing through their doors -- some long gone and replaced by others.

It's easy to observe and make conclusions about other people's actions and motives.  We all do it!  How often, though, do we take the time to wonder, consider other meanings, or even ask?

What do you miss when you don't look up?
(Photo:  Winter Flowering Tree, San Diego Zoo
- Larry Gardepie)

For those of us of a certain age, our parents and teachers encouraged us to pull out a big, heavy book called a "dictionary" to look up words that we didn't know or understand.  (There are variations of these tomes online, and many applications allow you to highlight a word and its meaning pops up on the screen.) 

Looking Up is an important skill that is often overlooked.  That is,

• Seeing beyond what is normally accepted.
• Searching for understanding and clarity.
• Noticing what is new and different.

As we notice how we walk through this week, let us look up, refocus our attention, and engage on what is important.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Journey of a Lifetime

Over my lifetime, I have had several mentors, spiritual directors, coaches, and role models who have challenged, inspired, and supported me.  Let's take a moment to recall -- and offer a word of thanks -- to those people who have walked with us and encouraged growth and understanding.

One of my earliest role models was a newly ordained priest who described us as Pilgrim People on a Journey Together.

Who has inspired you on your journey?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, Brian Crane, 12/08/24)

He described how there would be times in our lives when we would need people to walk alongside us as friends and colleagues... sometimes walking in front of us to lead us... other times to walk behind us to encourage us.  There might be times, he said, when we would need to be carried -- and to be be ready to carry others -- when too exhausted to travel alone.

These images of a Common Unity (community) who is conscious of a Shared Journey, our Vulnerability, and our Need for assistance and direction have stayed with me throughout my life's travels.

How have you prepared for your journey?
(Photo: Ancient Travel, ms Zaandam - Larry Gardepie)

I believe this message from my youth is even more relevant today as we experience:

• Separation and Division... we are called to work towards Unity.
• Hatred and Discord... we are called to remember Love and Kindness.
• Struggle and Strife... we are called to work together for the Common Good.

We don't have to live in a world that doesn't care... we are called to Care!

Where has your journey taken you?
(Photo: Settlement of Oceania, Bishop Museum,
Honolulu - Larry Gardepie)

Our Journey of a Lifetime invites us to:

• Walk alongside... by listening;
• Walk in front... guiding and listening;
• Walk behind... encouraging and listening!

As we carry -- or are carried -- we listen.  We listen for and identify with the message that we don't have all of the answers, we don't have to be right all of the time, and our truth is incomplete without the other.

 

Thank you, Jim, for reminding us that we are Pilgrim People... on a lifetime journey together!
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting