Transformations Revealed

Hearing about the decline of the Monarch Butterflies we decided to plant milkweed in our front yard as a way to support their food source.  It took one or two years for the plants to take hold, but now we have four established plants... and we have monarch caterpillars and butterflies enjoying our labor!

The milkweed plants have beautiful red, yellow, and orange flowers with elongated green leaves.  What I didn't realize is how much the caterpillars would eat!  They DEVOUR the plants down to the stems!

Where do you get nourishment?
(Photo: Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

At times we have had adults and children stopping by and watching the Monarchs flitting about... and then notice the caterpillars crawling all over the plants.  One child asked me the first year, "You don't mind them eating the plants?"

That question stopped me: we also have fruit trees and vegetable plants where I become upset when the insects take over and denude the plants.  Why not the milkweed?  Why am I not upset at the Monarchs? 

How much do you share what you have?
(Photo: Milkweed and Monarch Caterpillars - Larry Gardepie)

I guess my response to the child ("No, I don't mind") depended on context:  the Monarchs need our help to survive and the milkweed was planted for that purpose.  Plus, I had no other use for the milkweed except for being connected to the natural cycle of life.

I was growing the oranges, tomatoes, basil, watercress, arugula, chard, and rosemary, on the other hand, for our dinner table. 

What happens when you are transformed?
(Photo: Milkweed Flowers and Monarch Butterfly - Larry Gardepie)

A child's innocent question invited me to consider when and how I share my abundance.  And... that is where our transformation begins:

• Our ability to ask or listen to a question;
• Our openness to honestly reflect on our experiences; and,
• Our willingness to change.

What transformation or metamorphosis have you experienced lately? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Beauty Beyond

My father grew up on a Midwestern farm.  He loved to garden and had a wonderful way with plants.  One day we were walking by a house in downtown Salinas where the front yard had a variety of plants that looked overgrown and unkempt.  I made a comment about how ugly it looked.

Dad suggested that I not judge others by what I see.  We don't know their circumstances and just because their yard didn't look like ours didn't mean it was ugly, bad, or wrong. 

How do you measure beauty?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

Decades later I still remember his comments.  His words and the lesson were important, but it was the manner in how he guided my young mind that stays with me:

• His words were non-judgmental.
• His approach was gentle.
• He spoke with understanding and compassion.

This familial memory came to mind while walking through the cultured gardens of Blarney Castle.  The grounds were beautiful and well-manicured, but were they any more attractive than that Salinas garden years earlier?

Are there other ways to see beauty?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

We rely on what we see or hear... but, I must remind myself, there is always so much more that we haven't seen or heard!  For instance, when you walk into a room and see two people deep in conversation, do you sometimes create a complete story about the fragment of conversation you overheard?  Our minds rapidly fill in the gaps with what we already know!

Do we ever stop and wonder about the conversation that happened before we entered the room or after we have passed by? It's as if everything starts and stops with us and our experiences! 

Does beauty change over time?
(Photo: Blarney Castle Gardens, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

In reflective moments like this I am reminded of H. W. Mann's phrase "Beauty is more than skin deep."  It's a suggestion not to be fooled by the surface level of what we see, hear, or experience.  It's a hint to spend more time looking for the Beauty Beyond.

As we engage with people this week, let's cultivate our questions and feed our curiosity about what is Happening Beyond us.  Let us settle not for the story we create but dig deeper to Understand Beyond what we know.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Crevices of Life: Where Life Grows

Nature is tenacious!  Have you noticed that plants grow in the most unexpected places?  I remember one of my OH (ornamental horticulture) instructors defined weeds as plants that are growing in places where we don't want them.

In looking up the definition of weeds, though, I found several less flattering definitions:

 "A valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop."

 "Any undesirable or troublesome plant, especially one that grows profusely 
  where it is unwanted."

How do we define beauty?
(Photo: flowering plant clinging to a brick wall,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

Wow!  A living member of creation that we define as valueless, wild, to the exclusion or injury (of what is desired), undesirable, troublesome, and unwanted.

Where have we heard those words recently?  Maybe how we look at people who find themselves without a permanent home?  Maybe how we see or fear immigrants in our community?  Maybe how we encounter or label family members who have a different outlook on or rhythm of life?

Where do we belong?
(Photo: delicate plant clinging to a rock wall,
Donegal, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

It begs a question of us:

Who are the "weeds" in our lives -- those people we set apart as valueless, wild, undesirable, troublesome, and unwanted?

Or, in other words, those people we exclude for fear of injury to ourselves and our way of life.

Depending on our answer, another question may surface:  Why?

What do you cling to?
(Photo:  flowering plant clinging to a retaining wall,
Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

If anything, maybe we can learn from nature:  be tenacious and bloom where you are planted!  Rather than seeing undesirables in the homeless and immigrant communities, can we reach into the crevices of our life and see sacred beauty, worth, and value?  Can we nurture and encourage?  Can we accept and include?

All of these questions require us to reflect deeply on our own separation and pain -- times when we might have been identified as unwanted or undesirable.  In addition, we are invited into dialogue about areas where we feel vulnerable, alone, and not valued.

Are you willing to reflect with me on the weeds in your life? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Another Irish Musing: Life Imitates...

Have you noticed that when we get away from our normal surroundings or out of our comfort zone:

• We pay attention a little more. 
• We notice things that are not familiar.
• We don't necessarily know what to say or do. 

It is as if our autopilot is turned off, and we are required to Respond rather than React.

This is one reason why I enjoy traveling outside my neighborhood and city -- I am challenged to think and feel!

What do you imitate?
(Photo:  Entrance to Pub-Gallery,
Belfast, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

An Irish Pub -- of all places! -- helped me to come to terms with expressions of familiarity and differences.  This particular pub had an outdoor art gallery filled with provocative paintings:  that is, the art pieces provoked feelings of closeness and intimacy to what I knew and understood... AND... they invited a new way of seeing or understanding the world.

For instance, as we entered the outdoor patio, the four corners displayed the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Conquest or Pestilence, War, Famine, and Death).  Looking closer at the people on the horses were figures of Kim Jong Un (representing Pestilence), Ali Khamenei (War), Donald Trump (Famine), and Vladimir Putin (Death).

What are you hungry for?
(Photo:  Great Famine Stained Glass Window,
Belfast City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Whether I agreed with or believed in the artist's message didn't matter: the art was an expression of another person's views that provoked me to think. 

The Belfast City Hall was another location filled with artwork and stained-glass windows.  One window in particular provided color to the Great Famines of the mid-1800s - part of the Irish history that lives on in their stories and ballads.

It was a reminder that our stories and histories intertwine as we live daily what is familiar... AND... move through Life's travels and broader realities. 

How do you add color to this world?
(Photo:  Stained Glass Windows, St. Patrick's Cathedral,
Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

The openness to experience and understand another perspective may be part of Life's Goal: recognizing that our limited time and place can only be expanded by listening, dreaming, and accepting Other.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Another Irish Musing: Seeing Anew

Our Dublin local guide was excited about showing us this one window in a posh neighborhood of Ireland's capital city.  We were in for a surprise!

Apparently, a stuffed lion showed up in this €1,000,000 ($1.7 million USD) flat a few weeks back.  After all, how many people have a lion in the window?!

When do you expect to see the unusual?

(Photo: "How Much is that Doggy
in the Window?" - Larry Gardepie) 

What she didn't expect was the tiny dog in the window.  At first the dog also looked stuffed... a strange juxtaposition against the lion ... but, after a few minutes, the dog suddenly moved!

It made for a fun moment on our final full day in Ireland, the land of leprechauns, faeries, and "wee spirits":  what we expect to see is not always what we see!

How can you see something anew?

(Photo:  Blarney Castle through a Hole
in the Obelisk - Larry Gardepie)

This can be said of each moment of our day:

• We make plans... and then the plans need to change;
• We create To Do Lists... and nothing seems to get done;
• We focus our energy on helping others... and they hardly seem to notice.

Similar to the doggie in the window, the question becomes one of presence and paying attention.  The dog was so focused on people passing by that we misunderstood what we were seeing.  Once the dog moved, our understanding shifted.

Can you reach across what divides?

(Photo: "Hand from the Sea" sculpture, 
Waterford, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

The "Hand from the Sea" sculpture at the confluence of the Johns and Suir Rivers in Waterford, Ireland, depicts a hand reaching out from the sea and another hand reaching from nature (or the sky).  One is intertwined with seaweed and fish; the other has branches and birds.

It shows that we can come from different parts of the world... intertwined with our familial or cultural importances... and still touch one another.

This is what is important... the newness... the unexpected... the reaching out and touching another being.  It's the meeting where We-They are joined In-The-Moment.

Are you ready to See Anew this week? 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

More Irish Musings: Life Among the Ruins

Several friends and their families have been journeying through health issues these past several months:  cancer treatments, hospital stays, rehabilitation... and, for a few, final days.  It's difficult to grapple with mortality, especially since so much of our lives have ignored this all-too-human reality.

We notice the decline in our abilities, and we wonder when we became mortal.  How can we support one another in these moments of vulnerability?

Where do you find support?

(Photo: Round Tower and Headstones,
Glendalogh Monastery, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As our tour group traveled south from Dublin to the Wicklow Mountains on our last day in Ireland, I was holding these friends in prayer.  It seemed a fitting reflection on this final day on this journey.  Our destination: Glendalough Monastery, established over one thousand years ago by St. Kevin.  He wanted to live apart as a hermit, but his holiness soon attracted men and women from the surrounding areas who wanted to live in community.

When we arrived, hundreds of people were already walking among the ruins of these monastic grounds.  But, even with all these fellow travelers, the place was peaceful, holy, and contemplative.

What do you seek?

(Photo:  Markers and Headstones,
Glendalough Cemetery - Larry Gardepie)

The grounds were a photographer's paradise!  So many beautiful angles and sights:  moving slowly, changing direction, Noticing Life among the Headstone-Reminders of Life Gone -- flowers, rolling hills, babbling streams, bees and butterflies...  Life among the Ruins!

In the monastery's Cathedral, one step to the left revealed colorful rays of light streaming into the ruins.

Can you step aside and see anew?

(Photo: Remains of Glendalough Cathedral - Larry Gardepie)

Maybe our support for friends and community is the ability to Step Aside... and allow Life to reenter what was considered An Ending.  Maybe in Dialogue, we are invited to set aside our Gift of Talking... and treasure our Ability to Listen.  Maybe in the Silence of Death we notice Messages of Hope.

Over 1,000 years after Glendalough was established as a Monastic City, people still travel there in search of life among the ruins.

Where can we see life and messages of hope this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

More Irish Musings: Where is Our Loyalty?

Sitting in an airport waiting for our next flight, I began noticing the artwork around me.  A series of wavy colored beads caught my attention: it looked like an artist's version of the American flag (red, white, and blue).  How creative!  How patriotic!

Then I remembered I was in London Heathrow and the colors were both the colors of their national flag and those of British Airways... Oops!

(Did you know that more than twelve countries have flags with red, white, and blue as primary colors?  United States of America, United Kingdom, France, Russia, Netherlands, Australia...)

What catches your attention?
(Photo: Airport Artwork - Larry Gardepie)

What caught my attention and how I connected the information may not have been what the artist or the commissioning benefactor had in mind.  Instead, I took what I knew or understood and filtered or projected another meaning.  Does this happen to you as well?

These thoughts lingered throughout the next week as our tour group traveled throughout Northern Island, and we were introduced to art, landmarks, symbols, and messages of struggle and peace.

What stories do we tell along our journey?
(Photo: Downhill Trek to the Giants Causeway,
Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

For example, visiting the Giants Causeway along the northern coastline between Belfast and Derry-Londonderry, we were introduced to an ancient myth of Irish and Scottish giants who created a causeway (rock bridge) between these two islands.  The giants wanted to prove who was bigger and stronger.  Their focus?  Individual loyalty - who was better.

Scientifically, we now have a different understanding about how these rock formations were created, but it was interesting to ponder how we all create stories... myths and legends... about what we don't know.  This includes what we don't know about other people!

Can our stories bend and change over time?
(Photo credit:  song by Jeffrey Buckley and Elizabeth Fraser)

Now that I am home and celebrating this American holiday weekend, I wonder:

• What stories have we created about patriotism and loyalty?
• How do we seek out and allow new information to change us?
• Can we test the accuracy of these myths and legends? 

As we journey with one another, let us consider an Augustinian way of thinking and living, where we are called:

• To be loyal to Truth (veritas), Unity (unitas), and Love (caritas).

And where:

• Truth provides a common foundation;
• Unity creates a common framework; and
• Love provides a motivation and compassion that allows everyone to flourish.

Happy Truth-Unity-Love Day! 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

More Irish Musings: Across the Divide

Is the name of the city "Derry" or "Londonderry"?  That is one of the questions we encountered when traveling in Northern Ireland!

It's a matter of who you are talking to:

• For the Irish Catholics, it is Derry (or Doire, a monastic settlement founded by St. Columba and dating back to the 6th century);
• For the Northern Irish Protestants, it is Londonderry (renamed in the 17th century when King James I settled Protestants into the northern counties).

To be respectful, our tour guide suggested, we should say "Derry-Londonderry" to any locals we meet.  (Derry-Londonderry is sometimes referred to as " The Hyphenated City.")

When are we separated from others?
(Photo: Peace Bridge (2011), Derry-Londonderry,
Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

A fact of life in Derry-Londonderry: the Catholics live primarily on one side of the river and the Protestants live on the other.  Our local guide mentioned that he has many friends who stay only on their side of the river and have never met people from the other side.

In 2011, a new walking bridge was constructed to connect the two sides.  It's name -- the Peace Bridge.  The bridge has two towers which hold up the suspended walkway.  Depending on where you stand on the bridge or either shoreline, the towers look either separated or connected (crossing over).

This is meant to symbolize how close or far apart peace can be depending on where you stand -- and/or -- if you are willing to move.

Can we see when we are connected?
(Photo: Peace Bridge, Derry-Londonderry,
Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

As you enter town, you cross over an older bridge and pass by the Hands Across the Divide artwork.  It portrays two men reaching out to each other -- not quite touching.  Erected in 1992, these statues symbolize reconciliation, healing, and the hope for peace.  (Note:  the Good Friday Agreement that allowed peace after centuries of struggle wasn't signed until April 1998.) 

Hands Across the Divide (1992) and the Peace Bridge (2011) remind us of the hope before -- and the continued process after -- a bridge -- or hyphen -- of respect, understanding, and peace is created. 

What keeps us divided?
(Photo: Hands Across the Divide (1992),
Derry-Londonderry - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder how many hyphens we encounter in life?  Just think of those little bridges that connect thoughts, ideas, and people's names; ways that we allow more than one belief to coexist; or how we try to respect another person.

This week let us look for hyphens or create bridges across the divides that separate and isolate us.

These hyphens and bridges may be more common than we think!  Let us work for Peace! 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Our Dilemma

I looked up the definition of Dilemma this week:  "A situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives."  That makes sense, but then I wondered about our current situation:

• Where the country is equally divided;
• Each side excludes the other in discussions and decisions; and
• We don't listen to or engage in other perspectives.

America finds itself at a crossroads... and possibly, a dilemma... but how do we view the equally undesirable alternatives?

Are you being heard?
(Photo: "No Kings" Rally, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

I experienced this Crossroads in two different ways this past week:

• I attended San Diego's "No Kings" March (attended by over 60,000 people).
• I posted a politician's speech on my Facebook page.

(I posted the speech not because I agreed with all of it, but the person presented an interesting perspective of what is happening nationally.)

What values do you believe in?
(Photo: Liberty and Justice for All - Larry Gardepie)

Why are these representative of the crossroads we are facing?

• For the march:  it was peaceful; people wanted to belong; opinions mattered.
• For the online post:  some responses were attacks; discussion shut down.

One online comment even recited the Pledge of Allegiance, emphasizing that the United States is a Republic (not a Democracy) and is "One Nation Under God" (Christian).  

Reviewing our almost 250-year history, it can be said that:

• We are a "Republic" AND we are a "Representative Democracy."
• We have freedom to express our religious views.
• "One Nation Under God" in the Pledge and "In God We Trust" on our money weren't officially adopted until the Eisenhower years (1954 and 1956). 

Can we include everyone?
(Photo:  Aerial View of No Kings March, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

As our country changes and evolves, maybe we need to define Our Dilemma.  It seems that:

• We no longer relate to one another;
• We have lost the elasticity to consider more than two options; and,
• We focus on EITHER-OR thinking rather than BOTH-AND.

If this is true, then we might consider the following questions this week:

• Am I willing to engage in peaceful dialogue?
• Can I seek to understand other perspectives?
• How do I move beyond a "choice between equally undesirable alternatives" to choices of Possibility, Potential, and Opportunity?

These questions are BOTH individual... AND... collective.  Will I (and we) choose to reflect on and share our responses?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Irish Musings: Living with Barriers

Think of the physical barriers in your life: fences that define what you own or that protect your family; walls that keep people out; or possibly gender or skin color prohibiting you from being hired or promoted.

Traveling through Northern Ireland we encountered a variety of barriers that spoke to the divisions in that part of the world.

But what barriers do we live with... here and now?

Do you see through the barriers that separate?
(Photo: Fences and Faces, Belfast, Northern Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

It's important to notice and reflect on the barriers that we -- or others -- create... intentionally or not... for good reason or not! 

And no matter how much we decorate a fence or a wall, we must remember that it is still functioning as a barrier.  Its objective remains:  separating... dividing... obstructing... retaining.

How do you decorate your barriers?
(Photo: Fences and Flowers, Dublin, Ireland - Larry Gardepie)

This is why I was struck by the stained-glass windows in the Belfast City Hall: they told a story of tragedy (Titanic), heartache (famine), and hope (peace at last).  At the bottom of one colorful window was the following:

"Not as Catholics or Protestants,
 Not as Nationalists or Unionists,
 But as Belfast Workers Standing Together." 

Wow! The honesty to admit the divisions AND be aided by the reality and realization that we CAN live together! 

Can we stand together?  Do we want to?
(Photo: "Standing Together" Stained Glass Window,
Belfast City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

Coming back home, I reentered our American tragedy and heartache - the divisions that no longer allow us to see the individual faces; the labels that keep people out; the barriers that no longer protect... but destroy "the Other."

Our tragedy invites us to ask several questions:

• Are we happy being divided?
• Do we want to stand together, to live together?
• Where is the hope, the peace at last?

These -- and many other questions -- encourage us to overcome our Living Barriers and to become curious about the Other Side of the wall that separates.

We are called to dialogue!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Irish Musings: Barriers Expressed

Travel opens my mind to other cultures and ways of living.  One place that has intrigued me since childhood is Ireland and Northern Ireland:  its history of struggle, violence, and self-determination.

For those of us of a certain age, we can recall "The Troubles" - a polite way of talking about a civil war on an island divided by national identity (Irish and British) and religion (Catholic and Protestant).

The story goes back centuries as various peoples conquered and forced the local inhabitants to follow their laws and beliefs.

Do you see your story in others?
(Photo:  Belfast Murals - Larry Gardepie)

As our tour group traveled around Belfast, the local specialist talked about the struggle for peace and understanding.  We visited areas of the city that have prospered since the Good Friday Agreement of 1998.  We also saw murals and other expressions of homeland struggle, and how local lenses interpret their understanding of other struggles around the world.

The war in Gaza is near to their heart as many murals depict the decades-long struggle of the Palestinians for home rule, something the Irish and British citizens of Belfast can understand.

Where do you see hope around you?
(Photo:  Belfast Murals - Larry Gardepie)

Even with 27 years of peace, the "peace walls" that separate the Catholic and Protestant areas of town still exist.  Tourists are encouraged to write notes of peace and hope on these walls -- expressions of encouragement and solidarity with the locals.

Like the Berlin Wall that separated West and East Berlin in a divided Germany, the intent is eventually to tear down these walls.

What barriers separate you from others?
(Photo:  Belfast Peace Wall, dividing
Catholics and Protestants - Larry Gardepie)

Thinking about the tour guide's words, I wondered:

• Is not being at war the same as living in peace?
• What barriers exist in my relationships with family and friends?
• Do I conquer others with my thoughts, words, and actions -- expecting them to live according to my beliefs?

Ireland and Northern Ireland offer us so many lessons on life's struggles, the importance of dialogue, and how to live in peace.  Peace is a lifelong process!

Do we see the barriers we create?  Are we willing to tear them down?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting