Perceptions' Reflections

A friend shared one of this week's comics, Pooch Cafe.  (Thank you, Ron!)  It closely tracked my musings:

• How do I see my world?
• Are there ingrained filters that limit what I see?
• When might my perceptions of people be inaccurate or untrue?

These reflections began at my youngest brother's milestone birthday celebration last weekend.  (Happy Birthday, Kevin... age purposely not disclosed!)

Through what filters do you see the world?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pooch Cafe, Paul Gilligan, May 2, 2025)

Looking around at my siblings, nieces, nephews, their spouses, children, and Kevin's friends, I realized [again!] how much my sisters and brothers have changed since we were young and lived together with my parents.  Our journeys have diverged, and we have sought out different interests, adventures, and discoveries. (Wonderful variety and diversity!)

 

Going back even further, I recalled an assignment I gave my second-grade class: with a black marker, I created different squiggly lines on art paper.  The students were asked to use their imagination and creativity to draw what they saw in their individual squiggly line.  The results were wonderful, drawing on that person's unique views and experiences.

How do you use your imagination and creativity?
(Photo: Brian's Creative Snail, 1979)

Being a church-based school, another assignment I gave the class was to write about their favorite Bible story.  Tommy wrote about David and Goliath.  Looking back these many years, I see much of Tommy's early life in his reflected story: standing up to older brothers and a parent who minimized him.

 

I wonder:  How do these family stories and filters define our lives?  Are we constantly living or escaping these stories?  Where did Tommy take his story after he moved on with his life?

What are your favorite stories?
(Photo: Tommy's Favorite Bible Story, 1978)

As we become aware of how we see or experience the world, maybe our challenge is to show up with honesty and humility:  that is, showing up as we are today AND sharing with others the person we are becoming.

 

Our invitation -- using imagination and creativity -- is to honor the squiggly lines that began our Life's Journey and respect the variety of paths we and others have taken.

 

I am curious: where are you in your journey this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

Doppelganger: An Apparition or Double

I traveled throughout the United States as a software trainer/consultant for over three years.  Many friends commented at how lucky I was to be on the road.  I can tell you... it was hard work and wasn't all fun!

I discovered that there are many challenges with business travel:  learning to pack and unpack quickly; protecting your home life; staying connected with family and friends on very limited time; and keeping track at connecting airports of whether you were coming or going!

Have you ever seen someone you thought you knew?
(Photo credit:  LAX Doppelganger - Julia Noonan)

One day I received a text from our VP of Sales asking if I was at LAX.  She was in Los Angeles, assumed I was on the road again, and thought she saw me at the airport.

I happened to be at home for a week before my next assignment, which I told her.  She sent me a photo of the person she thought was me:  "Your doppelganger," she said.  (I love the word, doppelganger, but had to look up its meaning: "an apparition or double of a living person.")

Looking at the photo, I couldn't see myself... and wondered what she saw that I couldn't see.

How clearly do we see our world?
(Photo:  Alaskan Reflections - Larry Gardepie)

Over the years I have wondered about how clearly I see the world:

• Mistaking people or their names;
• Misunderstanding what people are saying;
• Misidentifying problems and solutions.

We each have our own learned way of categorizing people, places, and things... as a friend or a foe; feeling safe or threatened; accepting or rejecting guidance and correction.

And, at times... maybe... we can admit that we see only an apparition or a double of what is Real!

Are we willing to deeply explore what we see?
(Photo: Mirrored Reflections - Larry Gardepie)

Through curiosity and dialogue, I am trying to go deeper:  to listen for what I don't understand; to ask questions where answers are unknown; and to accept that I have made a mistake.  The importance -- for me -- of curiosity and dialogue is the ability to
continue learning:

• I may not have all of the facts.
• I might have missed what was important to that person.
  
• I must become comfortable with mystery and not knowing.

As we look at ourselves in the mirror this week, let's expect to see someone for the first time!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

 

Reflected Reflections

The San Diego Naval Training Center (NTC) where my father went to boot camp after World War II was closed in 1997 and redeveloped into a beautiful combination of homes, businesses, shops, restaurants, museums, parkland, and waterways.  The transformation from restricted government use to public open spaces now draws families, bikers, skaters, walkers and runners to shop, play, and enjoy the views of the airport, downtown skyline, and inlets of the San Diego Bay.

The area is now called Liberty Station, but the spirit of NTC is still present: that is, the renovated buildings and parade grounds have breathed new life into this part of our city... and its rich history is respected.

What transformations have occurred in your life?
(Photo: Esplanade Canal at Liberty Station,
San Diego Bay - Larry Gardepie)

Walking along the Esplanade and looking out over the Canal, I noticed the reflections of the palm trees and downtown skyline.  As I drew nearer to the water, I observed that:

• When the water was calm, the reflections cast a surreal copy of the actual.
• When the wind stirred up the water, the reflections disappeared from view.

So too with our lives and our relationships:  we are either calmed or disturbed by what has happened, what we remember, or what is... where our perceptions can be clear or dimmed by the stories we tell.

When have turbulences clouded your view?
(Photo: Downtown San Diego Skyline,
Esplanade Canal - Larry Gardepie)

Periodically, a jet would take off across the Esplanade Canal and Liberty Station.  The power of the engines propelled the plane above and past us, leaving us with its rumble and noise.  This type of disturbance is expected because we know where the airport runway is and we can look up the departure schedule: we can wait for and anticipate the takeoffs.

It is interesting how I react so differently to unexpected breezes that distort my reflections versus moments when I have anticipated, imagined, or wanted something else.

Do you wait for and anticipate change?
(Photo: a jet leaving SD International Airport
- Larry Gardepie)

As we practice our dialogue skills, we are invited to notice, reflect, and exchange ideas, thoughts, and even assumptions.  Being able to reflectively reflect on our reflections in a communal way helps us to see the transformations that are occurring:

• Reviewing our memories and history together;
• Renovating perspectives and conclusions; and
• Respecting the past, the changes, and the actual.

Like the NTC that served an earlier purpose, life can generate new energy and changes for our future.  Redevelopment gives us freedom -- or liberty! -- to reimagine who we are and who we might become.

How do you want to develop -- or redevelop -- your life?  In what ways can we help one another?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Reflections: Barred or Bridged?

Sitting on our hotel balcony looking out at San Diego Bay, I was aware of the bars that obstructed my view.  I realize the barrier is there for my safety, but sometimes it is a nuisance when I can't see clearly.  I could make an effort to see beyond the obstruction:  I could stand up to be above the barrier!

It's amazing how often I don't exert any extra energy to get beyond my limitations... of assumptions about others; meanings I've attached to what someone tells me; conclusions I've made about the erratic driver on the freeway!

What blocks your view of others?
(Photo:  San Diego Bay)

Barriers come in many shapes and sizes, and I can always rationalize how my reasoning keeps me safe.  But, walking along the shoreline, I noticed something different.  I became aware of the natural barriers around me: the sand that slows me down when I walk; the water that keeps me from the other side of the bay; and the distant mountains that hide what I cannot see.

Looking closer I saw boats scattered on the beach and a bridge that curved across the bay:  boats that could transport me... with effort... to the mainland; a bridge that could connect me to two ways of living (island life and urban sprawl).

What would help me to traverse the mountains in my life?

Do you see bridges or barriers in your life?
(Photo: Tidelands Park and San Diego-Coronado Bay Bridge)

Throughout the rest of the day I reflected on the barriers and bridges that I accept or construct.  Is it possible that I:

• Create the boundaries in my beliefs and attitudes?
• Build fences that separate where I feel comfortable or afraid?
• Limit the information that I take in about you and others?

That evening I was dazzled by the reflected light of downtown San Diego:  the water barrier earlier in the day became the instrument transporting the light to me!  Once we are aware of the barriers in our lives, we are invited to transform those into bridges of understanding.

What reflections touch you?
(Photo:  San Diego skyline)

After uploading this reflected skyline photo on Facebook many people liked/loved it!  We are able to learn from one another when we share our barriers to and bridges of understanding.

The important lesson I have learned is to share the image -- the bars, water, mountains, boats and bridges -- and let go.  Allow each person to choose which image speaks to them.  We can learn by observing what is liked and loved.

Moving from Thanksgiving to Gift Giving, may we learn to bridge the barriers that separate us!
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Blessings of Anniversaries: Part 2

As I continue to reflect on a seemingly Lost Year, I have wondered and explored lessons I have learned about myself and others.  I appreciate hearing the insights you have shared with me... where you have learned to:

• Grow in faith and trust
  
• Live one day at a time 
• Anticipate a less frenetic lifestyle
• Focus on the quality of engagement in the present moment
• Become less silent when it comes to injustice and bullying
• Invest time in listening
• Work hard on taking care of my health
• Draw closer to my loved ones
• Work in my garden
• Help others grieve with all we have lost
• Welcome being humbled, more compassionate and caring
• Appreciate milestones that mark the Passage of Time
  ("Is it already time to take out the garbage?!")
  

 It seems that even in darkness, we hope for light and beauty!  We seek to learn and become.

What has brightened the dark days of this pandemic?

If we have learned so much about ourselves, others, and the relationships that are important, is this really a "Lost Year" then,?  Maybe not!

Over the last few weeks I have reviewed the photos I have taken this past year.  Though these photos do not number in the thousands as in past years when I was able to travel, the 2020 photos focused on the local beauty of my city and county, loved ones and friends, and the simple aspects of my life.  Life is special!

What beauty have you noticed this past year?

  

I also notice that I am comparing previous years and experiences... What Used To Be.  It is as if the comparison will validate what I know or have experienced:  I want to connect the dots and bring value to my current situation.

I recall a rafting trip down an Alaskan river several years ago.  We learned the importance of working with the river, using the oars to guide our direction, and working with the energy of the river.   Being in the raft gave us height above the river, allowing us to look ahead and anticipate our next move.

When have you controlled the direction of your life?

But this COVID year has thrown us into the River of Life, where we are no longer in control.  Maybe the lesson is to flow with the changes that are happening.

This thought reminded me of a younger self that liked to body surf the river: a life preserver kept me buoyed above the water.  Our guide taught us to face forward, trust in the life preserver, and position our feet forward in a half-extended position.  When approaching an obstacle, the feet would take the impact, retract, and then help us to bounce back in the direction we needed to flow.  I found this flowing so much more fun than controlling the river raft... but, being in the river, meant I could no longer see farther ahead.  It seems that we have a few choices to make in the weeks and months ahead:  control versus flow; anticipating versus accepting.

As we consider this next week, maybe we could:

• Loosen our need for control;
• Practice flowing with the present moment; and,
• Position ourselves to trust the lessons, values, and experiences that preserve who we are - compassionate and caring people who desire the best for everyone.
  

Please continue to share your thoughts and reflections on this one year anniversary:

• When have you controlled?  When have you flowed? 
• When have you trusted?  What obstacles have you bounced off and survived?

 
May this next year deepen the lessons we are learning.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)