Weeds of Ideas

Growing up I remember always questioning and exploring:  curiosity about how the world around me worked;  why friends' families did things differently; and if work systems could change.  Though I didn't need to, I took additional classes on ornamental horticulture, soil science, history, statistics, Greek... even though I was a computer science major!  Each semester the Dean had to approve my "course overload."  My interests and the academic choices seemed endless... but my time was limited and the university system wanted me to graduate!

Why?  There was so much to learn:  I wanted to grow... and I still do!

What filters what we see?
(Photo: Shaded Patio, Catalina Island,
Larry Gardepie)

As spring weather returns and new plant growth appears, it is time to weed and prepare the soil for our vegetable garden.  In the process of weeding, I recall a comment from one of my  horticulture professors:  "Weeds are plants that are misplaced."  He explained that weeds bring value to the environment.  We are the ones who have labeled them... and want to remove them.

I wonder about our Need to Weed.  Before the horticulture class, I was taught:

• Weeds draw water and nutrition from the plants we prefer.
• Weeds choke off the growth of other plants.
• Weeds are not the plants we have chosen to nurture.

 

Where does beauty exist?
(Photo:  California Poppy, Larry Gardepie)

Maybe these statements are true, but what is it about our desire to define, filter, and control what is considered a "weed" or "not a weed"?  People in California are faced with continued drought conditions, so some are returning to native drought-resistant plants -- those that are best suited for this environment.  It takes awhile to get used to the naturalness of these native plants - they don't always match what I learned earlier... some look like weeds!

Weeds and dialogue have a lot in common:  curiosity helps us to explore people's ideas, opinions, and conclusions; slowing down and listening heightens awareness of the filters to pull up or discard other ways of thinking or being; compassion and empathy surface as we relate to the person planted in our lives.

Where can we bloom where we are planted?
(Photo:  Conservatory and Lily Pond, Balboa Park,
San Diego, Larry Gardepie)

Learned filters determine what is choking growth or what is nurtured.  Noticing these filters provides choice on what is misplaced or not.  Choice allows us to consider Weeds of Ideas that we may have discarded without thinking.

Maybe as we consider the words we choose and the actions we take, we can learn to value diverse ideas and opinions.  Rather than controlling and removing what we don't like, we can sit with and marvel at the beauty of what is planted.

Be careful what you weed and toss aside this week!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Out of Control: A Miracle

I get whacked out when a series of events go out of control all at the same time:  the domino-effect of pieces not falling into place and life becoming more complicated.  Recently, there were several weeks when everything seemed to go wrong: roof and woodwork needing repairs; online password file becoming corrupt; bundled media services on the blink; fan not working... and to top it off, the batteries in the flashlight needed to be replaced!

I don't know why, but I am always surprised when friends and work colleagues can put things back into perspective for me!  Sometimes it's as simple as sharing what is happening.  Other times I need to be nudged by a kind word, a question, or an inspirational quote.  It's the interaction of reaching out and inviting someone in that provides a pause for me to let go and accept another way of looking at a situation.

What do you do when life feels like it is falling apart?
~~ Click on photo credit link to watch video ~~
(Photo credit:  Top 5 Weirdest Dominoes
Falling Game, Viral Maniacs)

Reflecting on my agitated state and mood, I wondered why I ever thought I had control -- or wanted to take control -- of the situation.  Normally, it takes awhile for my patience to be pushed to the breaking point.  But, when I get into a negative mood that spirals downward and my inner self is saying, "This is not you!", I need someone else to help me refocus.

That is what happened:  when my Dialogue Learning Group met, the facilitator shared a quote from Mary Davis about gratitude and miracles.  At first I couldn't feel any gratitude or see any miracles in my list of projects to complete.  As people shared what was happening in their lives, I realized how small my issues actually were.  I was focused only on my problems, the smaller pieces that make up the whole.  I needed to pull back and see the larger picture.

How often do you focus on the small parts
forgetting the whole picture??
(Photo credit:  Brick Bending, Jeff Sanders
Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/brickbending/
Facebook:  https://www.youtube.com/c/BrickBending)

Yes, what we contribute to our families, friends, and work colleagues is important, but it is the balance of recognizing their contributions and importance that is equally important.  Learning to surrender our self-focused control, holding lightly to what is happening, and allowing the dominoes to fall allows us to creatively work together on common solutions.  (And, as the domino video from the first photo shows, we can have fun along the way!)

Having a roof, the ability to protect my online systems, the fact that I have entertainment equipment, a fan, and batteries... with gratitude I now see the "thing" and not the "problem."  But gratitude continues when I realize there are people to help me through these problems: the roofers, carpenters, online technical support, family, friends, and colleagues.

Where do you find gratitude?
(Photo:  Sea of Cortez sunset, Larry Gardepie)

I am grateful in my incompetence as others with competence reach out to help!

At the end of our learning group meeting, Rayleen (the facilitator) asked us to consider a revision to Mary Davis' quote:

Through the Eyes of Gratitude Everyone is a Miracle.

May we begin to see the miracles in our lives through the eyes of gratitude!  Everyone -- and Everything -- has sacred worth and value.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Blessings of Anniversaries: Part 2

As I continue to reflect on a seemingly Lost Year, I have wondered and explored lessons I have learned about myself and others.  I appreciate hearing the insights you have shared with me... where you have learned to:

• Grow in faith and trust
  
• Live one day at a time 
• Anticipate a less frenetic lifestyle
• Focus on the quality of engagement in the present moment
• Become less silent when it comes to injustice and bullying
• Invest time in listening
• Work hard on taking care of my health
• Draw closer to my loved ones
• Work in my garden
• Help others grieve with all we have lost
• Welcome being humbled, more compassionate and caring
• Appreciate milestones that mark the Passage of Time
  ("Is it already time to take out the garbage?!")
  

 It seems that even in darkness, we hope for light and beauty!  We seek to learn and become.

What has brightened the dark days of this pandemic?

If we have learned so much about ourselves, others, and the relationships that are important, is this really a "Lost Year" then,?  Maybe not!

Over the last few weeks I have reviewed the photos I have taken this past year.  Though these photos do not number in the thousands as in past years when I was able to travel, the 2020 photos focused on the local beauty of my city and county, loved ones and friends, and the simple aspects of my life.  Life is special!

What beauty have you noticed this past year?

  

I also notice that I am comparing previous years and experiences... What Used To Be.  It is as if the comparison will validate what I know or have experienced:  I want to connect the dots and bring value to my current situation.

I recall a rafting trip down an Alaskan river several years ago.  We learned the importance of working with the river, using the oars to guide our direction, and working with the energy of the river.   Being in the raft gave us height above the river, allowing us to look ahead and anticipate our next move.

When have you controlled the direction of your life?

But this COVID year has thrown us into the River of Life, where we are no longer in control.  Maybe the lesson is to flow with the changes that are happening.

This thought reminded me of a younger self that liked to body surf the river: a life preserver kept me buoyed above the water.  Our guide taught us to face forward, trust in the life preserver, and position our feet forward in a half-extended position.  When approaching an obstacle, the feet would take the impact, retract, and then help us to bounce back in the direction we needed to flow.  I found this flowing so much more fun than controlling the river raft... but, being in the river, meant I could no longer see farther ahead.  It seems that we have a few choices to make in the weeks and months ahead:  control versus flow; anticipating versus accepting.

As we consider this next week, maybe we could:

• Loosen our need for control;
• Practice flowing with the present moment; and,
• Position ourselves to trust the lessons, values, and experiences that preserve who we are - compassionate and caring people who desire the best for everyone.
  

Please continue to share your thoughts and reflections on this one year anniversary:

• When have you controlled?  When have you flowed? 
• When have you trusted?  What obstacles have you bounced off and survived?

 
May this next year deepen the lessons we are learning.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)