Endings and Beginnings: Finality and...

Leaving the UPS Customer Service Center this past week I felt a sense of completion, a relief that another task had been accomplished, an ending.  I also felt sadness, a letting go.  I was returning the business laptops, monitor, and cords to the company that had employed me for over 10 years.  Another chapter of my life was ending.

Once back home I saw the rearranged office space, the cleaned out closet and desk drawers... and I was ready for the next chapter to begin!

Is your Life's Path blocked?
(Photo: closed gate and passage, Harfleur, France)

Reflecting on beginnings and endings, I remembered other times in my life when there was a sense of finality - that a fork or turn in the road was providing a moment of Pause and Choice.  Gained was the ability to appreciate a new perspective.

Remember those words of encouragement to look for open windows when doors close?  I wonder if hope is hardwired into us to Look Beyond closed gates and seek passages that reveal new perspectives and challenges?

What do you see options beginning to open?
(Photo: open passageway, Harfleur, France)

It is important for me, I realized, to stop and savor the transition points from Endings to Beginnings... from finality to what lies ahead.  Noticing the changes that I am experiencing -- thoughts, emotions, hopes, dreams --- allows me time to welcome in the Adventures Unfolding.

One of those adventures is sharing what I am noticing.  As an example: one of Family Circus' children states that his dad is wearing his hat backwards.  Is this noticing about Right-or-Wrong?  Is one hat worn correctly and another isn't?  Or, if we step back, maybe the adventure is all about Noticing!  One person is aware that a difference or inconsistency is present.

How do we want to respond?  Correcting... or asking questions?  Winning an argument... or considering other options?

Whose perspective is correct?
(Photo credit:  Family Circus, Bil and Jeff Keane, 11.06.21)

 
Maybe the ending of judgments will open us to understanding others.  Maybe the beginning of understanding will offer new or different choices.  Maybe seeking opportunities to pause and choose will finally move us to accept one another.  Maybe finality will provide freedom... to wear our hats in the way that suits us!

Endings and beginnings are not all about individual choices, though.  Finality and looking beyond comes when we can balance what is happening in our individual lives with its impact on others.  Sharing what we notice and listening to others is the beginning our society needs right now.

What endings and beginnings do you see in your life?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Retiring My Judgments

Over the past several months I have been considering retirement.  I enjoy my work colleagues and friends, and I am challenged by the work I do... so why retire?  With this ongoing pandemic and the fluctuations of what can be done safely, I have noticed that my attention is often distracted by home projects and other interests.  A decision I have put off several times was finally made: I retired from being an employee this past Tuesday!

Watching my parents make this decision is one thing.  Going through the process yourself, though, is much different!  Reviewing your life's journey becomes very personal:  dreams and accomplishments; the value brought to the work environment; whether or not your contributions have been valued; understanding what is lasting and noticing what is important.  These are individual and intimate to each person.

Where do your thoughts take you?
(Photo: Portland, Japanese Garden)

The first few days of transition have been similar to the days preceding:  new routines haven't set in.  Instead, I have noticed an internal letting go of deadlines, a different sense of time.  It's almost like the first few days of summer vacation as a child when you can sleep in!  And the question "What do I want to do today?" takes on new meaning:  the structures of work hours and job responsibilities no longer govern the day's framework.

What I have noticed the most, though, is the gentle clearing of self-image and worth.  I believe that I have fought against being defined by my jobs or career, but I have to admit that these judgments were the container or filters in which relationships were formed.  You are interviewed and hired for a specific need; you perform your tasks as competently as you can; and along the way people begin to see the person behind the job.

What do you see when the the mists clear?
(Photo:  Mendenhall Valley, Juneau)

In this transition, I am beginning to understand the importance of letting go, accepting what is, and using time to pause and consider a new path or response to life.  The facades or shells that form our initial impressions of one another must be let go.  The judgments that limit us to Right/Wrong ways of thinking need to be reviewed... and maybe dismissed.  My fears of incompetency, not having the answers, or not fitting can be relaxed.

Where can you relax your judgments?
(Photo: South Beach, Avalon, Santa Catalina)

The gift of transition is the ability to move further into the Journey of the Heart: discovering the True Self; accepting the True Other; appreciating and encouraging people in the moment; and releasing any fears that keep us separated and alone.

We don't have to wait until we retire from our work.  We can retire our inner and outer judgments right now! 

May we celebrate the transitions in our life.  May we retire the judgments that confine us and limit others.  May we appreciate the one life we have and the one journey we travel together.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)