Seeing Anew

So much happens in our world that we don't see!  That's what I was thinking as I was walking along the shoreline the other day.  Unless we are present and have seen or experienced something, we have to rely on family, friends, work colleagues or some form of media to inform us.

Questions then surface:

• Which sources do we believe or trust?
  
• How do we know what is true or accurate?
  
• Do we need to experience it for ourselves?

 

When have you slowed down and stretched your understanding?
(Photo:  Yoga on the Beach - Larry Gardepie)

Experience, trust, and inquiry are important ingredients to enlighten our narrow views.  Sometimes we go in circles, repeating the same results... that is, until we open ourselves to new information.

 

It is this openness -- receptivity, interest, acceptance -- that creates Possibilities Unimagined.

What risks must you take to understand others?
(Photo:  Luau Fire Dance - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, openness... and risk!  Are we willing to let go of:

• What we thought was happening;
• The conclusions we arrived at;
• The opinions we made?

And, can we See Anew... that is, gain a broader perspective of our ever-changing world?

Do we see the changes before us?
(Photo:  Pacific Beach, San Diego - Larry Gardepie)

An image that I like to contemplate:

 

Wave after wave crashes on the people-infested beach, adding to and changing the beach as we know it today.  We stand and frolic in the water, refreshed by the breeze and ocean spray.  The heat of the day is cooled.  Our tiredness is refreshed.

 

I wonder if I truly understand the changes that are happening... to me, in the moment of being refreshed.... to the shoreline, as the waves slowly reshape what I know... to the sandcastle creations, that melt away with each wave.

Is that the Wisdom of Change:  accepting that change is happening each moment and seeing anew the refreshed landscape of life?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Endings and Beginnings: Finality and...

Leaving the UPS Customer Service Center this past week I felt a sense of completion, a relief that another task had been accomplished, an ending.  I also felt sadness, a letting go.  I was returning the business laptops, monitor, and cords to the company that had employed me for over 10 years.  Another chapter of my life was ending.

Once back home I saw the rearranged office space, the cleaned out closet and desk drawers... and I was ready for the next chapter to begin!

Is your Life's Path blocked?
(Photo: closed gate and passage, Harfleur, France)

Reflecting on beginnings and endings, I remembered other times in my life when there was a sense of finality - that a fork or turn in the road was providing a moment of Pause and Choice.  Gained was the ability to appreciate a new perspective.

Remember those words of encouragement to look for open windows when doors close?  I wonder if hope is hardwired into us to Look Beyond closed gates and seek passages that reveal new perspectives and challenges?

What do you see options beginning to open?
(Photo: open passageway, Harfleur, France)

It is important for me, I realized, to stop and savor the transition points from Endings to Beginnings... from finality to what lies ahead.  Noticing the changes that I am experiencing -- thoughts, emotions, hopes, dreams --- allows me time to welcome in the Adventures Unfolding.

One of those adventures is sharing what I am noticing.  As an example: one of Family Circus' children states that his dad is wearing his hat backwards.  Is this noticing about Right-or-Wrong?  Is one hat worn correctly and another isn't?  Or, if we step back, maybe the adventure is all about Noticing!  One person is aware that a difference or inconsistency is present.

How do we want to respond?  Correcting... or asking questions?  Winning an argument... or considering other options?

Whose perspective is correct?
(Photo credit:  Family Circus, Bil and Jeff Keane, 11.06.21)

 
Maybe the ending of judgments will open us to understanding others.  Maybe the beginning of understanding will offer new or different choices.  Maybe seeking opportunities to pause and choose will finally move us to accept one another.  Maybe finality will provide freedom... to wear our hats in the way that suits us!

Endings and beginnings are not all about individual choices, though.  Finality and looking beyond comes when we can balance what is happening in our individual lives with its impact on others.  Sharing what we notice and listening to others is the beginning our society needs right now.

What endings and beginnings do you see in your life?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Unlocking Our Hearts

I first saw it in Lisbon, Portugal - at the top of the Santa Justa Lift, an elevator opened in July 1902 as part of the public transport system.  A few years later I again encountered them in San Francisco along Fisherman's Wharf and Pier 39.

Locks attached to cyclone fencing:  locks in all shapes and sizes... intentionally left behind... signifying undying love for another person.  Some had names or initials.  Some had miniature photos pasted on.  Others were ordinary and anonymous.  Locks used as public statements about what was in someone's heart.

What do you see: locks, barriers or beyond?
(Photo: Lisbon, at the top of Santa Justa Lift)

Recently, my mind returned to these images.  Not because of undying love for another, but because I have noticed my heart is locked against some people.  I have been walking out of the room when a person whom I disagree with comes on the television:  politicians, activists, news commentators.  Sometimes, I can't stand to hear their voices.  Other times, I am tired of their simplistic soundbite answers.  Most often, I don't want to hear their denials of what I hold to be important.

I wonder how I got to this point - especially with people I have never met and do not really know.  I can count on one hand -- maybe only a few fingers -- people in my life I have had such a strong reaction.  It is difficult for me to get to the point of no return: where I cut off relationships.

I tell myself:  "This is not normal" and "I am not this way."  Or... am I?

How do you show your love for another person?
(Photo: San Francisco, Pier 39 fence)

With dialogue, we are invited to respect the other person and their views.  We are challenged to suspend our judgments and seek curiosity:

• I wonder why s/he believes that...?
• Can you help me to understand...?
• Why is this important to you?

Dialogue opens the door to noticing what we have in common and what is different.  Suspending judgment slows down the reaction to lock out another person, to pause, and to respond by inviting them in.  The words "right" and "wrong" become foreign as we explore... together... how and why we experience this world individually.  We seek to understand the filters that overlay and provide separate meanings to the same event.

What does your heart say about others?
(Photo:  San Francisco, neighborhood mural)

So, why do I walk out on a figure on TV?  Maybe because I don't have a relationship with them?  Maybe I have not locked in my curiosity or desire to get to know them?  Maybe it is easier to walk away from others than to listen?

I now wonder what is worse:  to be locked in or locked out?  What do you think?

May we explore the locks we have publicly or privately set.  May we share with others what is in our heart -- and why.  May we unlock opportunities to discover relationships anew.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)