Gifts Revealed

When was the last time you were excited about receiving a gift?  The remembered anticipation of a child at Christmas... the wonder of the gift wrap... the mystery of what was hidden inside?

My older brother would unwrap slowly the gift wrap, hoping to keep remnants of it for future use.  Once the bows and ribbons were removed, I and my other siblings would rip into the paper.  Our curiosity could not be slowed.

As we grew older, we would try to guess what was inside before unwrapping the gift.  How well did we know the giver?  Did the giver listen to our wants and wishes?

What gift have you been offered?  Did you open it?
(Photo credit: The Tragedy of the Unopened Gift,
A Line From Linda)

When clothes were received rather than toys, it was sometimes difficult to hide the disappointment on our faces.  The unvarnished truth of childhood emotions while learning lessons of being thankful for what was received.

I don't recall ever putting a gift back in the box, though, and refusing it.  There may have been exchanges due to size or color or duplicate gifts, but the Gifts Received were seldom (if ever!) given back.

I wonder today about the gifts we are given each day: the mystery of each person we encounter and the slow unwrapping and revelation of the Person Hidden.  Do we give back what has been received?

How do you use the gifts received?
(Photo credit: How Many Combinations are Possible
Using 6 LEGO Bricks?, Chris Higgins)

I was reflecting on these thoughts while meeting with my supervisor, Jeff, this past week.  He is the type of supervisor who allows us to work from our strengths while challenging us to expand our skill sets.  He encourages us to unwrap the Talents Unexplored.

Jeff has a side hobby:  LEGO... but not what you would imagine!  He takes these individual bricks and bends the normal understanding of how LEGO structures should be built.  Some would describe his creations as illegal, not using LEGO bricks as they were intended.  Others see beauty and art.

The gift of Jeff is his unbounded curiosity... the willingness to explore... the ability to accept What Is while testing and revealing What Can be... the Gifts Hidden.

Can you look beyond the way it should be?
(Photo credit: BrickBending, Jeff Sanders)

Dialogue allows us to receive the Gift of Other, to encourage the slow unwrapping of what is inside, and to accept the Gift Given.  We are bending and adapting to what is and the possibilities of what can be.  Rather than challenging what is revealed by saying "It shouldn't be this way" we are invited to say, "Thank you for helping me see anew."

Questions to consider:

• How do you know if you are in a box?
• Have you boxed others in by your definitions of them?
• Can we recapture the joys of unwrapping the gifts of Self and Other?
  

May this week allow us to seek possibilities.  May we understand what boxes us in.  May our imagination and curiosity open the gifts of wonder and awe.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A shout out to Jeff Sanders, who has taught me to dream of possibilities.  Check out his LEGO art:

• YouTube:     BrickBending  (https://www.youtube.com/brickbending)
  
• Instagram:   #brickbending or https://www.instagram.com/brickbending/
  
• TikTok:        @brickbending or https://www.tiktok.com/@brickbending
  

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Tangled No More

I've had a "smart phone" for many years now, allowing it to monitor my work-life patterns.  But, we've resisted buying a "smart TV" until this past week.  Our thinking:  we already have over 150 cable channels -- the majority we don't watch! --  so why introduce more distractions into our lives.

We now have a new member of the family, and have memberships to Amazon Prime and PBS Passport.  Congratulations seemed to be in order... until we moved the entertainment center away from the wall and stared at the spaghetti of dusty and entangled wires!

Where to begin with years of neglect?

What memories entangle your present life?

Over three hours, we helped one another dust the entertainment center, declutter the wires by sorting and removing unwanted or broken wires, and hook up our newest purchase.  Oftentimes, we needed one another to hold the flashlight and shed light into dark spaces, lift heavy objects, read instructions, and test hookups.

Eventually, we were back to normal... almost: the TV worked; we could listen to CDs; and we could switch sources to watch our DVDs.  (Yes, we are still behind when it comes to our collections of music and purchased shows!)

Everything worked... until I realized that a portion of the larger screen positioned in the entertainment center was hidden:  I was not seeing all of the screen because of where I was sitting!

Are prickly entanglements encountered today?
(Wrigley Botanical Gardens, Avalon, Catalina)

This exercise in updating to a "smart lifestyle" raised several questions:

• What relationships have I neglected?
  
• Are there entanglements that need to be addressed?
• Who can help shine light into the darker corners of my life?
• Am I not seeing the whole story because of my positions and perspectives?

And, maybe more importantly, is my life any smarter because of the smart devices that may clutter my daily life?

Where are your perspectives and values aligned?
(Mosque-Cathedral, Cordoba, Spain)

I sometimes amaze myself!  Not because I can stay calm or patient in most circumstances.  Not because I am sometimes creative in redesigning processes and user interfaces.  Not because I can learn new technologies.

No, I am amazed when I come across dusty and tangled situations that I have neglected.  I am amazed when I realize that I need others to shine the light on my inadequacies.  And I am amazed when I realize that being smart is not the same as owning smart devices.

As we look at our complex and entangled world this week:

• May we move our self-focused entertainment centers;
• May we learn to dust off and clear out years of neglect; and,
  
• May we be willing to sit in another location to seek out different perspectives.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

When Closings Open

A friend and I have been introduced to Louise Penny's murder mysteries.  In the first several books, Chief Inspector Armand Gamache invites young, untrained officers into his homicide unit.  Oftentimes, these officers have been labeled as outcasts - by themselves or others.  Gamache takes them under his wing and imparts the lessons he has learned over the years:  ask questions, be silent, observe, and listen.

I wonder -- as people who are moving from a COVID-closed Way of Being towards more openness and freedom of movement -- what lessons have we learned about ourselves and those around us?  What questions have we asked?  Are we willing to sit in silence, observe, and listen?

Do you seek light in your darkest moments?
(Full moon over Avalon, Santa Catalina, California)

Also, there is a vulnerability and humility in Armand's Way of Seeing life around him.  Whether he is piecing together the events leading to the murder, gently training his officers, or relating to his wife and children, he chooses to seek Light even in the darkest moments.  In several books he mentions four sentences that he has learned to say:

• I don't know.
• I need help.
• I am sorry.
• I forget.

Reflecting on Armand's wisdom, when was the last time I said these words to another person?

When do you open yourself to possibilities?
(Beach dining on Crescent Avenue, Avalon)

I am beginning to realize that being in relationship and learning to dialogue requires that we practice when and how to openly reveal ourselves to another person.  Being human means that we accept not only our strengths, but also our weaknesses; the times we are closed to -- or open to -- helping and understanding; and the moments we don't know or forget how to act.

Spending a few days and evenings in Avalon, Santa Catalina, I sat, observed and listened to how an island town suffered during the COVID closures.  Heavily reliant on tourism, their island totally shut down.  People lost their homes and businesses.  In order to survive, 500 of the 4,000 people were forced to move away.

Are you willing to burst outwards?
(Aureolin Yellow Spire Chandelier, Dale Chihuly)

 As closings began to open, people learned to rely on each other.  Masks may have covered mouths and noses, but the resilient minds and hearts found ways to become creative and unmask what separated them:

• Beaches in the evenings became dining rooms.
• Social gatherings reconnected people at a distance.
• Normal services focused on individual needs, not differences.
  

Rather than returning to the Past Normal ways of being and seeing, I wonder if we can share the lessons of loss, challenge, and darkness by asking questions... sitting... observing... and listening to Ways of Creating Common Unity (community) through what we don't know, where we need help, how we might be sorry, or when we forget... to be human with each other.

Our future doesn't have to be dictated by the past.  Rather, might we consider when closings call us to be more open with one another?

What reflections do you have of your Closings and Openings?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Labels and Tapes: "I am..." and "You are..."

My name is Larry, and I am a Recovering Labeler.

In order to survive this world, I pigeonhole myself and others into neat definitions and file folders... I label myself and you!  I replay tapes that describe how I see myself:  "I am..."

And, to be honest, I have tapes about you as well:  "You are..." and "They are..."

What inner maze do you navigate
when thinking about self and others?
(Mosque-Cathedral, Cordoba, Spain)

I don't want to assume too much here, but I wonder if we all do this: seeing or hearing someone we don't really know and placing a label on them?  I have labels for:

• Politicians whom I agree with, and different labels for those I disagree with.
• Sales professionals who help me, and door-to-door sales people who interrupt my day.
• Family, friends, and work colleagues that support and encourage me, and those I don't understand.

Part of my recovery as a Labeler is noticing the labels I have created or tapes I replay:

Which ones are inaccurate and keep me from seeing clearly?

When do you allow the mists of misunderstanding
to dissipate, so you can see clearly?
(Mountains surrounding Montserrat, Spain)

You may be wondering why I am reflecting on my addiction to labeling self and others.  While mentoring someone this week, I noticed that she was focusing on all of the negatives about a specific situation.  I found myself identifying with her:  it is so easy to describe what I don't like!

The challenge for her... and myself... and, dare I suggest, all of us: can we name what we like about a situation, about others, and about ourselves?  Can we see the beauty in the intricate complexity of our relationships?  Can we lower the labels and stop listening to the self-recriminating tapes and see anew? 

Can you find beauty in the intricate
design and interconnections with others?
(The Alhambra, Granada, Spain)

I don't think I can stop myself entirely from labeling.  It seems so hardwired into how we experience our world.  But my hope is... one moment at a time... that I will notice when I have trapped myself with definitions and conclusions that limit our interactions.

Once I notice the label or tape, can I:

• Hold the label and tape gently, and wonder where these came from?
• Consider that my conclusions may not be accurate?
• Explore more deeply who I am, who you are, and what we currently understand and believe?

It is in these reflective moments that I can release the constraints that keep me from seeing the beauty and value in you, and I can silence the self-incriminating tapes that imprison me.

 
May this week surprise us with positive outlooks, experiences, and self-discovery.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Penciling in Possibilities

No matter where we start in the year, we encounter beginnings and endings, endings and beginnings.  For instance, we are:

• Ending the school year and beginning the summer season;
• Moving from one phase of the pandemic and starting another; and
  
• Finishing one project or assignment and being introduced to another project and team.

It is this latter situation that is happening for me at work: having completed one product redesign and launching another multi-month project with a new set of coworkers.

I guess that is why I am thinking of pencils right now!

Do you enjoy new beginnings?

I remember as a child the magic of a new pencil: unsharpened and eraser unused.  The possibilities of that new pencil!  How long would it stay sharp?  Would the eraser last until the pencil was too short to use? What would be written or drawn with this pencil.... compared to the last one? And finally, letting go of that trusted companion and welcoming another new pencil into my life.

 

As I contemplate pencils and new assignments, I wonder if I face relationships and dialogue the same way?

• How will I sharpen my skills in order to create?
• When will I need to erase missteps and harsh words?
• Will the relationships last beyond this moment?

Beginnings and endings are interconnected: beginning the path toward discovery in order to be discovered.

When do you seek the Light-in-the-Darkness?

Projects -- and sometimes, people -- are like being in the dark.  We can't always see the outcome until we take that first step.  Moments of unseeing and unawareness require us to seek light and understanding.  It asks that we become curious, letting go, and moving forward.

The straight lines that we draw with that pencil -- and with our understanding of others -- sometimes need to bend, making shapes both simple and complex.

Can you envision the balance between
Simplicity and Complexity?

Beginning with a new team, starting a new relationship, and opening a dialogue require that we balance our individual needs with those of the Other.  I must end the myth that "I have all the answers" and "I am right."  We are asked to listen to possibilities, and begin to understand the unity common to each of us: we are human, trying our best to survive.

 

The light comes from walking together through the darkness of misunderstanding, and beginning to trust that each of us brings beauty and truth to our Created Future.

May we be willing to sharpen our dialogue skills by listening.  May we be willing to erase the judgments and conclusions we have made of others.  May we draw on the possibilities that will bring light to our darkened world.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)