Vacation Dialogue: Experiencing P.C.

Think back on a time when you sensed that someone respected and honored you.  It may have been a family member, a friend, or a work colleague.  It may have been a stranger or a new acquaintance.  It may have been on a trip as you checked in or as you sought out help or directions?

Close your eyes and hold onto that memory.  Replay that moment.  What do you recall?  What did the person say or do?  How did it feel inside?  What was your response?  And, why do you remember this experience?

Hamilton, Bermuda: Signs of Familiarity and Friendship

On my recent travels, I encountered people and symbols in many countries which displayed signs of courtesy and respect, familiarity and friendship, dignity and honor.  One example was the "Sir" or "Thank You" between the waiter and diner at a restaurant: not staged or forced, but with sincerity and appreciation.  Another example occurred in Hamilton, Bermuda, when our tour guide, the City of Hamilton Town Crier, happened upon the local Anglican Bishop: there was a spontaneous embrace, smiles of recognition, and connection.

Weymouth, England: Signs of Recognition and Common History

When in Weymouth, we were surrounded by monuments commemorating moments in British history of people who had sacrificed their lives through service.  Even a sand carving of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip was presented in a dignified manner that reminded Britons of their relationship with the royal family.

Luxembourg American Cemetery: Signs of Sacrifice

Moving through the countryside of Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg, we came across memorials and cemeteries which honored those who had sacrificed their lives for the common good.  The landscape around the headstones, respectful of the many faith traditions that came together to stop violence, was meticulously kept by two workers using clippers, cutting offending grass around thousands of individual monuments.  Quite a job, yes!  But prayerfully done... probably knowing that next week the same work needed to be done... and the week after that... and...

Oostende, Belgium: Signs of Remembrance

Touring the Atlantic Wall near Bruges, I came across the red poppies of Flanders Fields, the lasting symbol of death, life and remembrance - the sacrifices to stop tyranny and injustice, with the hope of bringing about peace and justice for all.

Why am I focused on these symbols of sincere appreciation, familial connections, respectful dignity, and remembrance?  Having studied and practiced Dialogue skills these past several years, I am struggling with the incivility that seems to permeate our public discourse.  What is happening to us?

Royal Palace, Amsterdam: Signs of Justice

In fact, I had to look up "PC" when it was mentioned several times in the primary debates last Fall and Spring.  I didn't think the speakers were referring to Personal Computers!  Instead, I assumed by context that the reference was to Political Correctness.  I had a different definition in mind, a definition centered on decency and respectful treatment toward all.  I found it important to check out my definition with other sources.

One definition I found:  "Political Correctness is the avoidance of forms of expression or action that are perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult groups of people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against."  One person I talked to mentioned Sacred Worth and Value.  Another, mentioned kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. 

In recalling the memories of when I was treated with respect or the symbols I encountered on vacation, I wondered if maybe it is time to transform how we imagine PC.  Maybe we are really talking about those moments when there is a Personal Connection:

• When there is a moment where we get beyond the filters that separate us;
• When there is a moment where we see similarity in our human condition; and
• When there is a moment where we climb down our Ladders of Inferences to understand the basic elements that bring us together.
  (Click on link to be reminded of the Ladder of Inference.)

My prayer this week is that we recall our memories of when someone respected and honored us, that we hold onto that feeling inside, and that we learn to respond in a manner that provides Personal Connection with those around.

Peace.

Larry Gardepie