Vacation Dialogue: Learning When to Ctrl-Alt-Del

I often wonder what affect I have on my work environment, my loved ones and friends, or the world in general.  Do I offer moments of sympathy, consolation, and peace in turbulent times?  Do I extend warmth and comfort in times of distress?  Do I bring calm and happiness into other lives?  Or, is there a wake of drama and turmoil when I leave the room?

What is left behind?  Are the waters left churning in your wake?

While outside Zeebrugge (Belgium) last month, I came across an ancient tree that was leaning over, supported by wooden poles.  As I took in this scene, I pondered on  the assumptions and conclusions I make about a situation.  How often do my assumptions support the filters I create and hold onto... about this culture or ethnic group; this region of the country or world; this political candidate or party...?  The list can be quite extensive when we consider the many ways we interact with the world!  Would my worldview fall apart if these filters (supports) were removed?

Are you needing support to stay rooted in the past?

During the tour, our guide mentioned that she had been leading groups throughout Europe for over 25 years.  In talking with her about how she balances home-family life with being on the road so much, her answer was very short: she found it important to delete.  This seemed to be an odd expression or thought, so I pursued the conversation.  She explained that when she returns home from a trip, she hits the Delete Key: that is, she does not bring home any work issues, and she does not restart the relationship with her husband where it left off before that trip.  She tries to stay in the moment, forgetting the history of hurt feelings or misunderstood conversations.  Instead, when she returns home, she listens and responds with where her husband is at that moment.  She realizes that in the few weeks that they were apart each of them has changed and is no longer the person left behind.

The Key to letting go is learning when to Ctrl-Alt-Del.

Hitting the Delete Key reminded me of something PC users are probably familiar with:  the Control, Alt, and Delete Keys.  That is, when used in combination, these Keys allow a user to lock or shut down the computer, move into the Task Manager, or select a number of other options.

In listening to Simone's advice, I wondered how often I might use the Delete or the combined Ctrl-Alt-Del Keys.

• If I become aware that I am controlling a situation (Ctrl), do I look for alternative (Alt) explanations and outcomes?
• If I am aware that I am paying attention to "This is how it has always been done" or "This is just how the person is," am I willing to identify and delete these historical filters and assumptions (Del) that may be limiting our interactions and dialogue?

In other words, the wake of turmoil and distress may be changed to one of connected relationships by listening to these controlling moments when history trumps presence or when one way dominates other options or solutions.

Today's Key:  What is your goal when interacting with others?

What would happen if you and I became more aware of each of these Key-Elements of our lives:

• The Controlling natures that we both may exhibit?
• The times we may limit alternative solutions and ways of being?
• The moments when we may pause and choose to Delete the past hurts and misunderstandings? 

Would the world be any better by Deleting, starting over, and realizing that the future is of our own choosing?  I would like to try!  How about you? 

A new week has begun!  What Keys will we use in these 10,080 minutes to unlock our future together?

Larry Gardepie