Messages in Conflict: Seeing and Understanding

Comic-Con International descends on downtown San Diego every July.  Over 130,000 paid attendees converge on the  convention center and its surrounding neighborhoods.  In addition, thousands of local residents trek into downtown to experience the camaraderie of the pop-art culture, absorb its creative energy, and gawk at adults and children dressed up in wonderfully-envisioned costumes for four days of craziness and fun!

The San Diego police department turns out in full force, providing a safe environment for people to amble through streets blocked off for this annual event.  Traffic and transportation personnel help people to navigate around trolley tracks and busy intersections.  Many others volunteer to provide an atmosphere that showcases the best of human interaction and service.

Messages in Conflict: where do you seek clarity?
(From San Diego Comic-Con International)

This year -- maybe because of the heightened security, coordinated services, and the festive nature of the environment -- I noticed a byproduct of the convention that had grown over previous years: the clash between conflicting messages of Free Speech.  Contrasting messages were being loudly thrust upon passers-by... or... silently offered.

It was as if the growing division in our political and societal discourse was visibly exploding in this one pivotal location.

Messages in Conflict:  what do you believe?
(From San Diego Comic-Con International)

One group broadcast their message from microphone and speakers:  people are depraved; are fornicators and sinners; and are going to hell.  This loudly-delivered message sounded angry and did not align with the rest of the message:  God is love.  God loves you.

Another group wore Star Wars-themed clothes, cajoling people to listen to the Force Within rather than these ancient religions.  One person dressed as a religious figure, visually giving the first group a flipped finger.  A guitarist tried to play, but his songs were drowned out.

My attention, though, was  drawn toward two people.  Saying very little; wearing "Free Hugs" T-shirts; and holding placards that proclaimed "You are good the way you are" and "You are Enough" -- their quiet actions and message seemed to gather the most followers.  Selfies, free hugs, and words of encouragement were the actions that spilled from this small corner.

Messages in Conflict:  what do your actions
say about your beliefs?
(From San Diego Comic-Con International)

I spent considerable time in this one area, watching and reflecting on the competing messages.  It seemed that as the more vocal group was ignored, the louder they became and people moved away.  In contrast, the two individuals who were the quietest and offered a message of acceptance, love, and a hug with no attachments, attracted the most people.  And, people went away with smiles on their faces.

I wondered:

• What are the values and messages that I believe in?
• How do I proclaim these values and messages?
• What are my actions when I am listened to, accepted, and believed... or... when I am ignored, ridiculed, and dissed?

As we contemplate the role that dialogue has in our lives this week, may we consider that words and actions must be aligned in order for others to hear and understand our message.  For me, dialogue is a way to encounter diversity and encourage inclusion.  It is through our curiosity and questions that we open our minds and hearts to others.

May this week provide opportunities to see conflicting messages that surround us -- and answer the invitation to provide safe environments for the human community to come together and celebrate the richness of who we are... Together.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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