Balancing Ends and Means: Moving from "We-They" to Us

We are living in interesting times!  Our media sources are filled with images of struggle: words and values colliding and drawing us into polarized reactions; raw emotions surfacing and eclipsing hope; and decisions widening the chasms between us.

I wonder:

• What is happening to us?
• Where are we going as a society?
• How might we listen and understand?

As I reflect on these images, my mind wants to gravitate away from the words, values, emotions, and decisions.  These are important for us to share and understand, but I wonder:

• Why are we focusing primarily on "who wins" - the Ends?
• Have we forgotten the importance and balance of the Means?

Question:  How can we stand up for our values
without alienating others?

If we focus solely on the Ends -- or Goals, maybe we are missing out on two words mentioned several times in the first paragraphs:  We and Us.

When we draw lines in the sand using only our personal values or surround ourselves with like-minded people, we may eventually be surrounded with lines that limit where we can go or the person or People we might become.

Question:  When have we created too many lines in the sand?
(Photo Credit:  A Line in the Sand, Rob Dobson)

It is important to acknowledge that all of us go through periods of low awareness:

• Times when we don't understand another person's perspective or conclusions.
• Situations where the decision is not what we expected or wanted.
• Changes that created periods of uncertainty.

In times of low awareness, our language centers on Us-and-Them, Have's-and-Have-Not's, Powerful-and-Powerless, Majority-and-Minority...  areas where we are polarized and potentially unmoving.  Suddenly, the numerous lines which divide us become the cages that imprison us.  Who actually wins when we stalemate or entrench each other or when one group enslaves another with one way of thinking or being?

Question:  What line in the sand could encompass Us?
(Photo Credit:  JuniorHighMinistry,org)

It is possible to cross these self-made Lines in the Sand by individually and collectively:

• Becoming aware of our emotions, reactions, and thoughts surfaced.
• Exploring the meanings and conclusions we have defined.
• Asking questions to understand another person's viewpoint.
• Respecting and accepting that The Truth may be larger than we initially believed.

Erasing lines that separate us may allow us to inscribe a new line in our hearts: one of hope that widens outward as more people are included and encircled by the Sacred Worth and Value of each person.

May this week invite us into moments when we identify and erase the lines that separate us.

May we look for the means to become the human words of We, Us, and Acceptance.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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