Flying High: Stringing Together Thoughts, Words, and Actions

Walking along Mission Bay in San Diego, I noticed a kite-flier pulling and releasing the strings attached to a large delta-wing kite.  For a few minutes, I followed the movement of the kite as it cut across the sky.  My eyes soon focused on the shapes created when the kite and the tail criss-crossed.  And then, my mind connected the kite-flier's actions and the resulting beauty when flier, kite, and tail were in harmony.

Commenting to the kite-flier about the strength needed to keep the kite aloft and to create the various patterns, he laughed and said it was a wonderful way to exercise!

Flying High: when do our thoughts,
words, and actions intersect?

Reflecting on dialogue, it takes effort -- continued exercise and practice -- to synchronize our thoughts, words, and actions.  As we engage in dialogue, our thoughts and words are like the kite and tail:  we are pulling and releasing ideas and meanings, hoping that our interactions are kept aloft.  And, like the kite-flier who is earth-bound, our actions anchor what people experience about us

Dialogue also allows us to experience and question our own delta -- the change or difference -- between our assumptions and the reality of that moment.

Flying High:  how do we view what we have constructed?

As we notice the changes in our relationships or the differences that occur when there are missteps or misunderstandings, our SCRs (Socially Constructed Realities) may be called into question:

• What has our family, religion, or culture taught us?
• How have we accepted societal norms, rules, and laws?
• Is there a moment when we realize that not everyone sees these human-defined constructs the same way?

Consider the following: a person living among the tall buildings of a city may not see the city in the same way as one who is flying high above the buildings!  Same city -- different views -- both are valid.  The buildings (as human constructions) remain, but when we open ourselves to other viewpoints, we may begin to see the city differently.

Flying High: in what ways can we experience harmony?

Engaging others in dialogue -- where we exercise the way we ask questions and listen deeply to another person's experience -- requires us to practice the skills of Curiosity and Holding It Lightly:

• Curiosity:  am I willing to listen and learn from another person, asking questions of what they are thinking and feeling?
• Holding It Lightly:  can I accept, with hands open, the truth shared -- holding gently rather than harshly rejecting what I don't understand?

To live in harmony does not mean that we agree with everything said.  Instead, we experience harmony when we are able to hear the various instruments of a band or orchestra, when we can see the broader landscape being revealed before us, and when the constructs that limit us are noticed and gently set aside.

May this week invite opportunities when we can release and pull on the strings that connect thoughts, meanings and actions... allowing us to see beyond our earth-bound constructs!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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