Tear Up When We Are Torn Down

There are some days -- or weeks -- where it seems trials and hardships come one after another. The landscape ahead looks uncertain and arid of hope: the pathway forward obscure or non-existstant.

Even in these times, though, when it seems that our values and belief systems are being questioned, shredded or torn down, it is important to seek that which is important and true -- the Core of Who We Are... the Core of Who I Am.

In these desert moments, I want to believe that there is still life, beauty, and possibilities.

Question:  Can we see the beauty in our desert moments?
(Wrigley Memorial and Botanical Gardens, Catalina Island)

The shift in our understanding may be very subtle, as subtle as learning the difference between the English words: tear (pronounced: tair) and tear (pronounced: teer).  On the surface, both words are spelled the same, but they have different pronunciations and meanings.

When other words are added to these singularly-different words, a whole new world begins to emerge.  Consider:

• Tear (tair) down:  to pull down, destroy, demolish; to disparage or discredit
• Tear (teer) up:  to fill up or overflow with tears

Maybe, as we consider the desert moments that shift through our personal, social and political arenas, we are invited to consider the words and meanings we attach to the unfolding events. With compassion and empathy towards those around us, can we tear up when we -- or others -- are torn down?

Question:  What tears at you?

When Oprah Winfrey accepted the Cecil B. deMille Award at the Golden Globes this past January, I was moved by her speech.  (Click on the link to listen to her speech.)  Days later, as I reflected on her words, I realized that I didn't know very much about Oprah outside of her talk show, movies, and public persona.  I downloaded and read a number of her books, trying to understand her passion and what made her "Oprah."  I wanted to know if she teared up when events or people tore her down?

In her book, What I Know For Sure, Oprah wrote:  "You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom more.  To be more splendid.  To be more extraordinary.  To use every moment to fill yourself up."

Observation: deserts have blossoms too!
(Wrigley Memorial and Botanical Gardens, Catalina Island)

I wonder, is it time for us to consider that:

• Words matter.
• What we say impacts who we are, who we are becoming, and how we communicate our experiences.
• Empathetic words and actions -- when we dialogue, ask questions, and attempt to understand another person's feelings and experiences -- have the power to Tear Up our interactions.

Just think:

• We have the ability to remove the prickly boundaries we have created.
• We have a choice to provide overflowing potential in our shared future.
• We can decide to tear up past differences that keep us apart.

May this week allow us to see the blossoms - where last week we only saw desert. And may we choose to blossom more, to be splendid, and to be more extraordinary!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)