Our World Village

On our journey up the Amazon River, we visited a small village of 100 people, Boca da Valeria ("Mouth of the Valeria River").  Children gathered around us, holding visitors' hands, and leading us around their village.  Dressed in modern and traditional clothes, holding onto sloths, iguanas, and caimans, they wanted their photos taken.

We visited their school, saw their church, and wandered around their homes-on-stilts.  These industrious people had adapted to the ever-changing river that provided food, work, and recreation.

How do you welcome others into your world?
(Photo: Children in Traditional Dress,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Our visit meant a day off school, but it was a workday of sorts as they collected tourist dollars for food, river trips, pictures, and selling locally made handicrafts.  Though business was part of the day's focus, the overriding principles of Hospitality and Welcome were ever-present.

As visitors, we were members of their village for one day... part of their family.

What do you bring to the relationship?
(Photo: Young Boy and Baby Sloth,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

We were thousands of miles from home, yet I felt At Home.  Why?

We couldn't communicate in my language.  People spoke Portuguese or the local dialect.  We had some things in common -- kitchens, stoves, satellite dishes, but other things were unfamiliar or outdated -- outhouses, wildlife, houses on stilts six to eight feet high.

Why?  The adults and children accepted us.  They wanted to show us their Way of Life.  We were people meeting other people.  We were curious and interested in one another.

Can you create and give something of yourself?
(Photo:  Artisan and His Creation,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, I handed out a few dollars for pictures and handicrafts, but I never felt exploited or manipulated.  I felt Family and Togetherness... thousands of miles from home and friends.

As our world order and what we know changes, there may be questions for us to consider:

• Do I feel alienated and misunderstood?
• Can I accept people different from what is familiar?
• Am I willing to create a welcoming and understanding environment?

In a time when we may feel a lack of power or control over what is happening, I would suggest we can influence the outcome more than we think.

• We have a choice in how we define Family and Togetherness.
• We can develop Curiosity and Interest in others.
• We can Welcome All into our World Village.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Labeling By Surprise

Have you ever paid attention to the various labels used every day?  I guess at a basic level we are trying to describe what we are seeing and experiencing.  But, I wonder, how often we use words to box people in... to limit or bias the story-telling... to hurt or distance ourselves from others?

It's an eye-opening exercise to notice the labels you might use regularly or the ones you hear between family, friends or work colleagues:  male, female or non-binary; married, single or divorced; black, white, or BIPOC; straight or LGBTQIA+; energetic or lazy; trusted or shady...

The list goes on and on as we try to understand our world and convey thoughts and ideas to another person.

How do you see and describe your world?
(Photo credit: The Harmful Effects of Labeling People
(Ourselves and Others), Plus Finding Hope for the Future
- Leigh Aguirre, Registered Nurse at UCHealth)

I realize that even raising this to our consciousness might be labeled as Woke by some people... which raises more questions about what "woke culture" is and why it has been given a certain framework.  Words and actions are the ways that we communicate our thoughts and feelings to another person:  individuals trying to understand.

As an introvert, my thoughts are often jumbled or half-cooked when I decide to share ideas. Conveying intangible ideas by using language is almost like capturing smoke... as the smoke disappears!

Are we surprised by what we see or hear?
(Photo credit: Is a Surprise More Enjoyable
for the Receiver or the Giver?
- Nici Lucas, The Days of Gifts)

A dialogue practitioner mentioned to me recently her intention to "Keep space to be surprised."  That is, rather than becoming stuck on a word or label used by someone else, her hope is to become more curious, asking questions, and trying to understand the thought behind the word or label.

Rather than remaining on the surface level with the label, it may be more important to understand more deeply what the person is seeing and trying to convey.  Oftentimes, a label can be -- or is -- used to distract or separate us.  Questions and curiosity can focus and draw us together.

How can we bridge what divides us?
(Photo credit: Togetherness without being Together
- Abhineet Mittal)

Surprise might be the key to understanding the intangibles that we cannot see:

• What does that word or label mean?
• How is it being used?
• Why is this important to the other person?

Also, we may be surprised by what we discover when we ask questions, listen, and allow intangible ideas to transform into tangible actions of understanding.

May we be surprised this week when the smoke clears and our intentions are revealed.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

In This Together

Some days I want to be with people, and other days I enjoy my Alone Time.  I assume that we all feel this kind of human tension:  we are individuals... but... we are also social beings.  It's that daily struggle of wanting to be independent... but... realizing how much of our world requires us to be interdependent.  In fact, our survival sometimes rests on accepting this duality of human existence:  we are unique... but...  we have so much in common.

I liken it to a rubber band that needs to stretch in order to be used or useful... but... in its natural state, it returns to a relaxed state of being.

How often do you feel connected or disconnected?
(Photo: Clarion Alley Mural Project,
San Francisco - Larry Gardepie)

Is it as simple as some personality assessment tools describe: we tend towards being Extroverted or Introverted -- that is, we gain and move toward energy which supports our external or internal interactions?

I think it may have more to do with the conversion or transformation that takes place in us as we move from:

• Childhood - being dependent on our parents and family; through
• Adulthood - becoming independent by focusing on our own resources and what we contribute, to a state of
• Wisdom and Maturity - understanding that our journey is like a Nurse's Log - as we grow older and decay we provide nourishment to others - we become interdependent.

The whole life cycle is important!  No one stage is better than the other... but... it is the awareness that we are here for others that connects each of these stages.  We are in this together whether we like it or not!

How do you nurture others?
(Photo:  Nurse Log, Capilano Suspension Bridge Park,
British Columbia, Canada - Larry Gardepie)

The elasticity of our lives is dependent on gathering, connecting, structuring, and changing.  As Monday Morning Quarterbacks, we can sit back and posture about how our team could have performed better the day before.  Criticism or cynicism may feed some of this reflective process... but... what is important is what we learned and how we improved our ways of thinking:  that is, what could we have done differently?

So too are our thoughts and opinions about our elected officials or government structures.  The elasticity of thought allows us to criticize... but... I would suggest, only if we are willing to engage in fruitful dialogue that improves the state of individual and societal needs.  Listening, understanding, accepting, and changing become the ways that we can nourish and nurture future possibilities.

What do you think of our political leaders: them or us?
(Photo:  San Francisco City Hall - Larry Gardepie)

As we go through this midterm election cycle, it may be prudent for us to reflect on whether our contributions are focused more on individual (self-interests and a specific political party) or social good (what is needed to move beyond).  This is not a sports game where the winning or losing statistics are forgotten in a few months. If we are in this together, the long-term game plan must include everyone.

May we consider that we are in this together.  May we look toward our common humanity and our daily tensions of stretching and relaxing.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)