Our World Village

On our journey up the Amazon River, we visited a small village of 100 people, Boca da Valeria ("Mouth of the Valeria River").  Children gathered around us, holding visitors' hands, and leading us around their village.  Dressed in modern and traditional clothes, holding onto sloths, iguanas, and caimans, they wanted their photos taken.

We visited their school, saw their church, and wandered around their homes-on-stilts.  These industrious people had adapted to the ever-changing river that provided food, work, and recreation.

How do you welcome others into your world?
(Photo: Children in Traditional Dress,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Our visit meant a day off school, but it was a workday of sorts as they collected tourist dollars for food, river trips, pictures, and selling locally made handicrafts.  Though business was part of the day's focus, the overriding principles of Hospitality and Welcome were ever-present.

As visitors, we were members of their village for one day... part of their family.

What do you bring to the relationship?
(Photo: Young Boy and Baby Sloth,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

We were thousands of miles from home, yet I felt At Home.  Why?

We couldn't communicate in my language.  People spoke Portuguese or the local dialect.  We had some things in common -- kitchens, stoves, satellite dishes, but other things were unfamiliar or outdated -- outhouses, wildlife, houses on stilts six to eight feet high.

Why?  The adults and children accepted us.  They wanted to show us their Way of Life.  We were people meeting other people.  We were curious and interested in one another.

Can you create and give something of yourself?
(Photo:  Artisan and His Creation,
Boca da Valeria, Brazil - Larry Gardepie)

Yes, I handed out a few dollars for pictures and handicrafts, but I never felt exploited or manipulated.  I felt Family and Togetherness... thousands of miles from home and friends.

As our world order and what we know changes, there may be questions for us to consider:

• Do I feel alienated and misunderstood?
• Can I accept people different from what is familiar?
• Am I willing to create a welcoming and understanding environment?

In a time when we may feel a lack of power or control over what is happening, I would suggest we can influence the outcome more than we think.

• We have a choice in how we define Family and Togetherness.
• We can develop Curiosity and Interest in others.
• We can Welcome All into our World Village.

Your thoughts?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

 

 

Rebuilding Who We Are

How far back do you know about your family tree?  Do you recall stories told by your parents and grandparents... and great grandparents?

When my parents moved our family from Iowa to California, the nearest relatives to our town were in the San Francisco Bay Area and Arizona.  We did what we could to stay in touch: expensive long-distance phone calls on birthdays and major holidays; periodic vacations to Iowa; and a weekend trip to visit our closest aunts and uncles.

As a child, the calls seemed too short and the trips were too long!

Who are you connected with?
(Photo: Family Tree - Larry Gardepie)

Though Family Connection was important, our church, school, and neighborhood communities were just as important!  Knowing that people could rely on you -- and that you could rely on them -- were social building blocks that provided stability and safety.

Recently, people down the street moved, the house was sold, and the new owners began removing the roof, walls, and landscaping.  Over time new foundations have been laid and the rebuilding process has begun.  We don't know their final plans.  Rather, we must wait and see what is revealed.

What social supports have you built?
(Photo: Renovation Project - Larry Gardepie)

Life provides many opportunities for us to get to know others, form friendships, and create a Chosen Family.  And, there are times when people leave us -- growing up, moving away, and passing on.  We must be ready to say good-bye and slowly rebuild.

For me, it's the waiting that is difficult:  waiting my turn among six children to talk to Grandma and Grandpa; asking "Are we there yet?" on the 3-day road trips to Iowa; holding back judgment when anticipating the neighbor's plans.

How do others see you?
(Photo: House in Coronado, California - Larry Gardepie

I want the connections to be fast, perfect, and permanent... and if I am honest, unchanging!  But, that may not be real!

This week, as I walk by the House-Being-Rebuilt, I will ponder how to practice patience in my connections... allowing friendships and foundations to settle... before I consider Who We Are and Who We Are Becoming. 

Please join me on this rebuilding project!

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Dialogue DNA

Okay... I think I'll blame it on COVID!  Why not?!

Over this past year, I have been slowly cleaning out photo albums and boxes that have been untouched for years: images and memories of early childhood, elementary school friends, high school activities, college adventures, and career path wanderings.  Stories forgotten and re-remembered... and now, decisions of what to keep, give away or toss.

Isn't it amazing when we have the perspective of Time Past to glimpse our Story Anew, the slices of time we have occupied so jealously.

How do you see the world?

Journeying backwards I became interested in my ancestry.  I have memories of my maternal great grandmother and grandparents, my paternal grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, my parents and siblings, but beyond that I recall only sketches of my extended family's path through time.  Slogging through birth and death certificates, census records, and military registration forms, additional information has surfaced: outlines and shadows of Lives Once Lived.

A recent interest has been DNA research: I discovered a nationality I never knew or heard about in family lore.  Do we ever fully know what makes up this person we see in the mirror each day?

What influences your decisions?
(Photo credit: Collection of Genetic Data
Leads to Privacy Concerns, The New Economy)

This personal remembering and exploration has allowed me to wonder about the Dialogue DNA that is also a part of my family's story:

• What we talked about... or did not;
• How we listened... or did not; and,
  
• When we sought new ways of thinking and being... or did not.

Are there ways to see and respond differently?

~ Click on image for a larger view ~
(Photo credit: Ladder of Influence,
based on the work of Chris Argyris)

Have you ever noticed that the images of the twisted strands of chromosomes look similar to the Ladder of Inference:  one determines our make up; the other interprets what we see and experience.

 

Through DNA studies, I am learning that each strand of life has an imprint that links me to Family Past.  Dialogue studies help me to realize that I imprint meanings and conclusions -- filtered through family, culture, education, and lived experience -- onto the present and future.

 

Time Past hides our story.  Exploration and reflection opens the Story Anew.  The Dialogue DNA imprinted on us requires that we talk, listen, and explore new ways of thinking and being.

 
May this week inspire us to clean house and rediscover the Family We Are.

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)