A Life of Contrasts

Isn't it amazing what our "smart phones" can do these days!  Besides guiding our daily activities using calendar, reminder, exercise, and health applications, we can stay in touch by texting, emails, social media... and the phone!  We can even monitor and control our "smart homes"!  And the camera captures memories that call us back to that moment when we stood still and wanted to remember.

On a recent trip, I was exploring the editing functions of my phone's camera.  Before playing with these features, I always prided myself at capturing what I saw -- as it was -- without embellishments.  I didn't realize all of the ways that I could crop, adjust, and photo-shop a picture with my phone.  It felt like cheating!

How often do you see a situation as "black and white"?
(Photo: South Seas Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

In the past, our cameras needed the correct film -- color or black-and-white -- and the right speed.  We adjusted the camera settings to match the film purchased, and we had to take 12, 24, or 36 pictures until that roll of film was used before changing to another speed or color.  It took time to have the film processed before we received the photos and could view our creations... and mistakes!

Now, within seconds, we can take a photo, review it, delete or reshoot it, edit and share it with family and friends.  Reviewing and remembering those photo-moments is much more fleeting as well.

When do you soften a situation to your comfort level?
(Photo: South Seas Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

As I was testing my phone camera's edit features, I wondered about what we have gained -- and lost -- as we manipulate what we see and capture.  Just as our physical tools (phones, tablets, and computers) have changed our way of connecting with the world, so too have our mental models:

• How we search for our likes, dislikes and interests;
• Where we go for news and entertainment; and,
  
• What we decide is true and relevant.

I must admit, there are times when I only want to see the Either-Or ("black-and-white") of a situation -- or -- I soften the contrasts of a situation to not feel so uncomfortable -- or -- I accept the true colors, understanding that Both-And is a possibility.

Can you sit with the beauty of the moment...As It Is?
(Photo: South Seas Sunset - Larry Gardepie)

I wonder how often in life we want to guide, monitor, control and edit the circumstances and contrasts of a situation?  Through awareness and reflection, we are invited to notice how our filters and mental models adjust what we are seeing and experiencing.  The question after noticing our filters is whether we can accept the beauty in the current situation -- As It Is.

Though I liked the editing features of my phone camera, I must admit... I enjoy the challenge of centering its lens on what is happening now, and knowing that the photo has not been adjusted allows my fading memory of that day to be revisited -- As It Was.

May the blessings of this Holy Season of Ramadan, Passover, and Easter draw us back to the spiritual reflection and growth of our traditions... the memories of How It Was... and Is... today!

P.S.  Which one of the three photos did you like the best -- and why?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Seeing Clearly

Fourth grade... that was the year my teacher noticed I was talking too much to the classmate sitting in the neighboring desk.  Rather than reprimanding me for talking rather than working on our assignment, she asked me why I was talking.  I explained that I couldn't see what she had written on the blackboard.  Asking a question opened the door to seeing clearly:

• I was sent to the principal's office. (Am I in trouble?)
  
• I was given an eye exam. (Why are they checking my eyes?)
  
• I began a lifelong journey of optometrist check-ups. (I am nearsighted.)

Why reflect on this fourth grade epiphany and insights?  My glasses were fogging up during last week's Easter service, and I wondered:

When do I not see clearly the mysteries unfolding around me?

When is your vision or understanding clouded?

(Photo credit:  Mask Still Fogging Up Your Glasses?
Try These Tricks, Wexner Medical center, The Ohio State University)

The memory of when I put on my first pair of glasses is vivid.  The optometrist was a family friend.  He brought the Army-issued, black-rimmed glasses to my parents' house after work on a Friday evening.  With my parents, brothers, and sisters surrounding me, I tried them on... I looked around the living room... and I was shocked!  THIS is what everyone else is seeing?!

 

Everything was so clear and in focus!  As a child, I had no reference point to understand that my vision was poor.  I just knew I couldn't see the writing on the blackboard.  It took a teacher who noticed... and who asked a question.

Can multiple views be true?

Wearing my glasses to school on Monday, I looked at the schoolyard and classroom in a new way:  I was caught up by how amazing everything was... and how changed I felt.  By the first recess, though, the teasing and bullying began:  "Four Eyes" became a nickname; friends-turned-bullies tried to knock off the glasses; I felt ashamed at being an outcast.

What became clear:  don't stand out... don't be different.

 

As I gazed through mask-fogged glasses at the Easter service, I wondered about these childhood lessons.  Warm breath creates unclear images.  Halos appear around people's heads.  What else comes from my mouth that clouds how I see others?  What is true?  What is the mystery to be explored?

What happens when we seek clarity?

Moving outward from these memories, what are the lessons we want to -- or choose to -- learn from this COVID-fogged year:

• What questions can be asked when we don't see or understand clearly?
  
• Have we attached names to people who stand out or respond differently?
• Do we seek a reference point that brings clarity and appreciation?
  

 

Similar to the 9-year old who discovered he wasn't seeing clearly, maybe -- as we discover that multiple views may be true -- we can become excited at the beauty we are now experiencing!

May this week bring focus to what is important to you.  May you try on new perspectives that bring clarity to your life.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

The Blessings of Anniversaries: Part 1

Have you noticed that in normal news cycles a major story stays on the front page or receives headline attention for only a few days... and disappears over a matter of 2 or 3 days.  The emergency and its impact may remain, but the newsworthiness has lost its power to attract and retain attention.  It slips from our consciousness.  We move on.

Maybe its the losses we've experienced this past year or the scope of this crisis... this COVID Story just won't fade away!  Many people want to move on; some states are loosening their restrictions: people want to return to normal... but the story remains!

And now, along with the daily telling and retelling of this Viral Unfolding within our lives, we have arrived at several anniversaries:

• The first known case
• The first case in the United States
• The first deaths
  
• The first Stay-at-Home / Safe-at-Home / Lock-down directives
  
• The first surge
  

How do you celebrate anniversaries?

In my family, anniversaries have centered on reflection and celebration.  I have noticed these are the filters through which I am trying to understand these COVID anniversaries: reflection and celebration.  But something is unsettling to me about celebrating these milestones.

Rather than finding fault or blame for where we find ourselves, these filters are asking different questions of me:

• How have I changed over this past year?
• Do I focus more on the negative impacts on my life or the positive responses of adapting?
• Where am I thankful?
  

As I reflect and try to celebrate, I am aware that my impatience and intolerance obscures what I see and feel.  I want to move on to the next story!

What obscures your view?

  

Mike, a dialogue colleague and friend, mentioned that this past year has been like a retreat: being able to slow down, walk on the beach, meditate, and reflect on the good in his life.  He also said that he is noticing some resistance to "returning to normal."

What fills you with gratitude?

His comments -- along with my anniversary filters of reflection and celebration -- have me wondering:

Would you be willing to explore with me...

• Ways that I (we) have changed?
• What I (we) are grateful for?
• Our vision of the world after the pandemic?
  

I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts and experiences.

May we reflect on and share what is important.  May we seek headlines that inspire and draw us together.  May we celebrate Lives Lived... Lives Lost, and Lives Who Remain.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)