The Meaning of Life: I am not sure what you mean?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you thought you were clear about what you said, but then things went in unexpected directions?  Did it seem like there were two completely different conversations taking place?

I don't know about you, but these encounters seem to be more common in this very complex and ever-changing world!  The political discourse over these past few months (and years!) seems to be ripe with these examples

It reminds me of moments in my life where I was just trying to understand the Meaning of Meaning!

Whose rules do you play by?
(Click on image for a larger view)
(Baby Blues, by Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, October 8, 2016)

As a baby and toddler, I mimicked adults in their actions and words, attaching my own limited understanding to what happened.  After all, what did I learn when I cried and got attention or received what I needed?  I lived off that understanding for years!

Growing older, I learned the power of curiosity.  I began to use the infamous question, "Why?" and I wasn't happy with the predictably weary answer, "Because."  In my own way, I was seeking meaning.  Then, I learned how to read, spell, and comprehend.  Through Spelling Bees, I learned how to compare myself to others.  Through classroom and schoolyard competition, I began to see where I ranked with others: better or worse; gifted or average; special or ordinary.  Meaning was added to relationships:  best friend, friend, acquaintance, adversary, or bully.  Conclusions could be derived from those relationships:  trusted, loyal, and dependable; cautious, unfaithful, and irresponsible.  In some situations, a Cone of Shame was placed unceremoniously on Self or Other, whether privately or in public, as Meaning was attached to the outcome of growing up and experiencing life.

Do you feel you are surrounded by a 'Cone of Shame'?

As I matured through adolescence to adulthood, I slowly realized that some of the lessons I have learned and the meanings I have adhered to were not the same ones experienced by others.  It was as if my conal worldview has limited me with insulated horizons.  In fact, if we engaged in meaning-filled conversations, we may learn that we have been looking at life in different directions!

Sometimes... we actually do see life differently!

Through the gift of dialogue studies and being older and 'more mature,' I am reflecting again on the Meaning of Meaning: what is intended to be or actually is; the end, purpose or significance.

There is:

• A benefit when others have experiences differing from mine.
• A blessing when opposing views expand the meaning of life.
• Worth and value in diversity of expression and understanding.

Dialogue practices encourage us to Hold Lightly, to see worth and value.  Therefore, I wonder if:

• We take life too seriously as we seek out individual and collective meaning; and
• We need shared humor when realizing we may have been looking in opposite directions!

After all, how funny is that!  We thought there was a conflict, became indignant and angry... and then found out that we both missed the sunset since we were preoccupied with our own views!  Or, we thought we were seeing and experiencing the same event, but realized we had our backs turned away from one another.  Maybe our Individual Cones have limited what we can see and imagine collectively!  Strangely funny!
 

Sometimes... we may need to see the humor in a situation!

Even our Cones of Shame may be sadly humorous: we have carried them through childhood and young adulthood, adding "happy faces" that belie what is happening within.  Maybe the lesson for this week is to remove our Cones and reclaim our earlier sense of discovery, the wonderment of asking "Why?"... and listening expectantly for the Gift of Meaning. And when others answer from their own experience, "Because," maybe that is enough.  No shame.  No hurt.  Beautifully-diverse views that are valid and true.

To consider this week:

• Reflect on examples of childhood discovery and your search for Meaning.
• Reflect on moments where you experienced a Cone of Shame.
• How might you remove this Cone and regain your sense of discovery? 
• In what ways can you listen to and accept another person's view?

May we search for renewed meaning in life, and may you experience friendly, charitable humor when you are surprised!
 

Larry Gardepie