Missing Pieces, Missing Memories

COVID projects!  I am sure you've had your share of them this past year: cleaning out closets, garages, and storage units; unending "Spring Cleaning"; reorganizing and simplifying.  Going through picture albums and deciding which photos to scan in and which ones to discard is one of my ongoing projects.  It's amazing how many people or trips I no longer remember details... names, how we met, why that travel shot was so important at the time.

I have access to or kept cards and photos that were unique and have shaped who I am.

What has shaped you?

The interesting thing about cleaning out and simplifying are the Emotions of Remembrance: who we were; what influenced us; how we lived... in another time and place.  What shall I let go?  What shall I carry on?

It seems that as I remember, I also notice how much I don't remember.  There are missing pieces in my Life Story:

• Was I too young to know the significance of what was being said?
• Did I not have a context to understand?
• Why didn't I ask questions?

Missing pieces.  Missing memories.

What is missing in your life?

As I stumble through my dialogue practice, I am reminded over and over again how critical it is to develop and nurture Curiosity, the desire to learn and know about anything.  The skill of being inquisitive.

 

My grandparents and parents have passed from this life.  The stories that made them unique can no longer be told in their own voices -- what they experienced and understood to be true.  Fortunately, I still have brothers and sisters.  I am sure each has their own memories of Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, and Dad... from their own perspectives.  I must remember that each of their experiences is individual, rare, and true.

When is it time to listen?
(Photo Credit:  The Simple Guide to Caring
for Elderly People, Huffpost)

I am thankful for memories as I decide what to digitize, what to remember, and what to let go.  I now realize how important it is to pay attention to those around me.  Can I ask -- and pay attention -- to the stories that have shaped other people's Ways of Being in this world?

 

Maybe one lesson for our divided world is how we might want to come together -- with a desire to listen, ask questions, and hope to understand what missing pieces another person holds.  Only when we share these lessons can we put together who we were, who we are, and who we want to become.

As we feel the loss of missing memories, may we reach out to others and practice ways to become curious.  May we seek to hear and remember.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)