Weeds of Ideas

Growing up I remember always questioning and exploring:  curiosity about how the world around me worked;  why friends' families did things differently; and if work systems could change.  Though I didn't need to, I took additional classes on ornamental horticulture, soil science, history, statistics, Greek... even though I was a computer science major!  Each semester the Dean had to approve my "course overload."  My interests and the academic choices seemed endless... but my time was limited and the university system wanted me to graduate!

Why?  There was so much to learn:  I wanted to grow... and I still do!

What filters what we see?
(Photo: Shaded Patio, Catalina Island,
Larry Gardepie)

As spring weather returns and new plant growth appears, it is time to weed and prepare the soil for our vegetable garden.  In the process of weeding, I recall a comment from one of my  horticulture professors:  "Weeds are plants that are misplaced."  He explained that weeds bring value to the environment.  We are the ones who have labeled them... and want to remove them.

I wonder about our Need to Weed.  Before the horticulture class, I was taught:

• Weeds draw water and nutrition from the plants we prefer.
• Weeds choke off the growth of other plants.
• Weeds are not the plants we have chosen to nurture.

 

Where does beauty exist?
(Photo:  California Poppy, Larry Gardepie)

Maybe these statements are true, but what is it about our desire to define, filter, and control what is considered a "weed" or "not a weed"?  People in California are faced with continued drought conditions, so some are returning to native drought-resistant plants -- those that are best suited for this environment.  It takes awhile to get used to the naturalness of these native plants - they don't always match what I learned earlier... some look like weeds!

Weeds and dialogue have a lot in common:  curiosity helps us to explore people's ideas, opinions, and conclusions; slowing down and listening heightens awareness of the filters to pull up or discard other ways of thinking or being; compassion and empathy surface as we relate to the person planted in our lives.

Where can we bloom where we are planted?
(Photo:  Conservatory and Lily Pond, Balboa Park,
San Diego, Larry Gardepie)

Learned filters determine what is choking growth or what is nurtured.  Noticing these filters provides choice on what is misplaced or not.  Choice allows us to consider Weeds of Ideas that we may have discarded without thinking.

Maybe as we consider the words we choose and the actions we take, we can learn to value diverse ideas and opinions.  Rather than controlling and removing what we don't like, we can sit with and marvel at the beauty of what is planted.

Be careful what you weed and toss aside this week!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

 

Smoke and Mirrors: A Matter of Perspective

I had a funny experience a few weeks ago: using the Crew Chat function on the cruise ship app, I was texting Customer Service to explain a situation I found myself in.  I wanted to get across that a benefit had been promised before the cruise but was no longer available.  I used the phrase "Smoke and Mirrors" to get across the idea that promises sounded good until they are not kept: the cruise line seemed to practice "bait and switch" tactics.

In my mind, the text exchange was courteous, a model of true dialogue.  At the end of this written conversation, the Customer Representative circled back to what I had mentioned at the beginning:  she asked about the smoke and wondered if I was in danger:  smoke = fire nearby!

What ideas are illusive to explain or understand?
(Photo Credit:  Smoke from Zuiderdam cruise ship,
Larry Gardepie)

It was at this point that I wondered about the text dialogue just finished:

• How often do I assume ideas have been conveyed accurately?
• What happens when colloquialisms, phrases, or images do not have a shared meaning?
• Whose responsibility is it when we misunderstand one another?

Oftentimes, I think that my conversations mirror exactly what I am thinking, what I am trying to externally reveal about my internal thoughts and ideas.  I wonder, though, if more than one image could be emerging?

Do we see clearly what others are seeing?
(Photo Credit:  Zuiderdam mirrors, Larry Gardepie)

Maybe it's not a matter of blame or fault when we misunderstand another person.  Maybe these are opportunities to explore what was said and understood.  Maybe misconceptions provide ways to see abstract ideas in new ways:  what I initially thought may have other meanings.

What do we hear, think, and conclude?
~~ Click on image to enlarge ~~
(Photo Credit:  Family Circus, March 27, 2022, Bil and Jeff Keane)

In some ways our abstractness may be the beginning of Dialogue Unfinished.  We may think we are being clear when we share ideas and thoughts.  If we shift our stance slightly to include the possibility that misunderstandings may be present, then curiosity, questions and exploration may reveal what was incomplete or unsaid.

In other words, what do we discover in the smoke and mirrors of our thoughts and assumptions?  Maybe there is more.

A question for you:  what do you consider old?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Clouds Illusions

Have you ever had a tune stuck in your mind, playing over and over?  I might not remember the words, artist or lyrics, but the melody sure knows how to linger… playing over and over and over again!

One song has been playing in my mind for a few days now, so I decided to look up the words.  It’s Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides, Now, where one of the stanzas reads:  “I’ve looked at life from both sides now… From win and lose and still somehow… It’s life’s illusions I recall… I really don’t know life at all.”

What illusions cloud what you think?
(Photo: Glacier Bay, Larry Gardepie)

What an intriguing way to look at life these days:  looking at life from both sides and realizing that we really don’t know life at all!  What are the illusions that are recalled… and probably held onto?  Isn’t it time to look beyond the illusions and seek the Light Hidden and Truth Unspoken?  

Can we see the light beyond the clouds?
(Photo: Clouds and Stars in a Night Sky, Larry Gardepie)

When I finally accept that I might not understand a situation or know the answer to a problem, my mind momentarily panics… it becomes defensive:  “I should have known“, “You didn’t tell me”, “It’s their problem”, and “They did this to themselves.”  As I slow down and listen to myself, I become self-reflective:  “Where did that come from?”, “Is this what I really think or feel?” and “What kind of person do I want to become?”.

Eventually, as curiosity emerges, I move from statements to questions, and there is a willingness to look at my filters (illusions) and the conclusions (clouds) I have hidden behind.  Now begins the real work of asking and seeking what is Real… beyond the Illusions Created.

When does Light amplify your Illusions?
(Photo: Clouds and Ocean, Larry Gardepie)

Illusions and conclusions separate us; curiosity and reflection connect us; exploration and discovery enlighten us.

May we be willing to set aside What We Think We Know and seek What We Do Not Know.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Locked In

While on a Zoom call last week, Darcy -- a Dialogue colleague -- mentioned that a Lock icon randomly appeared on her new monitor over my image.  Though distracting, it did not seem to impact our conversation.  A series of questions began to emerge:

• When am I locked into my way of thinking?
• What is the impact on relationships when I don't consider other perspectives?
• How might I become more aware when I am resistant to your experiences?

 

When am I locked into my way of thinking?
(Photo credit:  Darcy Wharton)

I don't know about you, but it seems that as I grow older, the information I take in sometimes gets cemented in as Reality, Truth, and My Way of thinking and being.  Family or cultural traditions are familiar -- and safe -- so I cling to what I know.  I return to what is easy and normal.  I don't notice when I am Locked In.  Is it that way with you as well?

Our ability to consider new information is sometimes limited if we don't challenge the conclusions we have made about others.

How might I heal misunderstandings?
(Photo: The Fallas Museum
Valencia Spain, Larry Gardepie)

Therefore, in order to unlock our thoughts -- and feelings -- we must be willing to explain our thought process, how we came to the conclusions and opinions we have.  The willingness to share information -- and to listen to new information -- provides opportunities to reconnect with others.  Generations of ideas that have taken root must be reconsidered.

Can I listen across generations of ideas?
(Photo: The Fallas Museum
Valencia Spain, Larry Gardepie)

Visiting The Fallas Museum in Valencia, Spain, introduced me to the Fallas Festival of this region.  Each year monuments are constructed by local organizations working together to design and build a falla that represents them.  The festival culminates on March 19 with the destruction of these neighborhood monuments by setting them ablaze... but, before the bonfires begin, people vote on their favorite figures.   The two with the most votes are rescued and enshrined in The Fallas Museum.

Working together, creating an image that represents us, deciding what to let go of and what remains... isn't this what dialogue is about?  The ability to unlock our traditional thinking and search for ways that bring us together.

May we become more aware of our locked thoughts and feelings.  May we seek to remove these limitations.  May we explore opportunities that open us to new ideas.

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Wisps of Ideas

Have you ever wondered where your thoughts come from?  Are there times when you are surprised by what bubbles up in your mind about someone else ("Now where did that come from?!")?

There are times when I cannot turn off my brain:  working through a project; worried about an upcoming deadline or decision; trying to solve a mystery ("Where did I put my phone?").

Sometimes, it seems as if my thoughts are clear, are connected, and have a purpose.  Other times they have a life of their own and wander, like wisps of smoke or clouds taking shape and then drifting around with the wayward winds.

What are you thinking right now?
(Photo: Wisps of Smoke at Night, Larry Gardepie)

In fact, did you know that rubber bands and thoughts/thinking have a lot in common?  Both can be stretched, and both contract!  Just think about the flexibility you might have on any given subject:

• Am I open to new ways of thinking about that subject?
• Am I closed off and convinced I have the answer and see it clearly?

As I am thinking about my own flexibility -- or lack of! -- I notice another thought emerging:  thoughts might be like wisps of smoke or clouds -- AND -- at the same time, they might be like the ocean depths:  there is so much more to consider!

Is it possible to hold both certainty and uncertainty
about a given subject... at the same time?
(Photo: Cloud Trails, Larry Gardepie)

I wonder about the structures and rules (SCRs: socially constructed realities) that I have accepted or established in my life.  Do they allow me to expand (or contract) in my way of thinking?  Do they provide the ability to follow the wayward winds and explore the depths of who I am -- or who you are?

 

I believe the beauty of thinking is sharing your thoughts with others.  Not to determine who is right or wrong, has the right answer or is still exploring.  Rather, by sharing our thoughts and listening to what another person thinks or feels, we expand our horizons.  We venture beyond the safe shores that protect one way of being (or thinking) and reach new areas of discovery.

Do the beauty of wisps and depths enlighten your day?
(Photo: Sea of Cortez sunset, Larry Gardepie)

Maybe in this divided world we are encouraged to set aside Thoughts Divisive that chain or lock us into violent struggles.  Maybe we are invited to Flexible Thinking that attracts sharing and nonviolent exchanges.  Maybe wayward wisps will allow to us See Anew the depth of discovery and the exploration of possibility.  Chains or Rubber Bands?

 

What do you think?
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)