Blindness: A Human Condition

Have you ever sat with your doctor or optometrist and taken a color blindness test?  For me, the first time was at our family doctor's office when I was a child.  I was asked to identify the numbers hidden in several colored circles.

Being a person who likes challenges and wanted to pass the test, I hurried through each card.  The doctor didn't give any feedback, and I began to wonder and second guess myself:

• Did I miss something?
• Could I have misunderstood or made a mistake?
• Maybe I hurried through and didn't pay attention?
  

What's wrong with me?  Is the doctor trying to trick me?

What do you see (or not see)?
(Photo credit: Color Vision Deficiency
- American Optometric Association)

Color blindness does run through my family, but I eventually found out that I saw colors within the normal spectrum.  This childhood experience, though, fascinated me:

• The need for feedback and approval;
• The self-doubt and questioning;
• The desire to be normal and accepted; and,
  
• The quickness in blaming or suspecting someone else.
  

How many of us can identify?

Do we notice our own blindness?
(Photo credit: Color Blindness - Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments
- Prasad Netralaya)

What I have noticed over the years:  there are many different types of blindness that we may struggle with -- color blindness; congenital blindness; night vision; macular degeneration; central vision loss...

 

And, if we are honest with ourselves, there are several forms of cultural, ethical and spiritual blindnesses that limit how we see and experience this beautiful world.

Are we willing to notice and accept our limitations?
(Photo credit:  Cultural Blindness - Definitions, Examples,
Pros, Cons - HelpfulProfessor.com)

Blindness is an inability to see; an unwillingness to perceive or understand; and, sometimes, it is a lack of judgment or ignorance.  Blindness is a human condition that we all experience in some form.

 

This is where we need one another: for feedback and affirmation; correction and treatment; support and carrying... and to slow down blaming the other person for our own limitations.

 

What blindness or limitation will you notice and explore this week?

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Boundaries and Possibilities

There's something beautiful and expansive about being out on the water... whether on a river, lake or the ocean.  My land-locked views of Southern California buildings, streets, canyons and mesas fall away and I begin to see beyond the limitations of this land-based existence.  The fast-paced freeways that connect cities disappear as a slower-paced rhythm of water travel allows me to consider a different way of Reconnection.

Even the darkest moments at sea -- when pinpoints of lights onshore or the even more expansive reaches of the star-filled skies -- invite a network of possibilities beyond my limited world.

In your darkest moments, do you see connection or separation?
(Photo:  San Francisco Bay Bridge, Larry Gardepie)

I enjoy these periods of Reflection:

• Who am I in relation to you and this world?
• Have I contributed to the well-being of people I encounter?
• What limits or separates me from the possibilities and potential of Life?

And, maybe most importantly in this time of Division and Separation, am I willing to change how I listen to and understand what blocks my relationships with those I disagree?

What barriers limit your potential?
(Photo: wake from ship, Larry Gardepie)

Slowing down and reflecting creates the Pause required to see beyond our limitations.  Other possibilities -- which may already exist -- can be seen more clearly when we don't rush past them.  We are able to encounter Choice that expands our horizons.  Barriers fade away, and we are left with more capacity to see beyond.

Is there beauty on your horizon?
(Photo:  Sunset over Sea of Cortez, Larry Gardepie)

Life is beautiful... whether at home with the normalcy of our days or on a brief holiday that expands our experiences.  Being lulled into the doldrums of inactivity and stagnation robs us of who we are Called to Become:  people connected to a common good; people created to look beyond our limitations and explore the horizons and stars; people invited into the possibilities of the universe.
 

May this week provide time to slow down, reflect, pause, and make a choice towards connection and healing.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)

Pools, Oceans, and Marco Polo: What Contains Us?

As the pandemic began last year, our neighbor stopped by to tell us "as a good neighbor" that they would be installing a backyard pool... next to our adjoining property line.  The months of construction and disruptions didn't bother us.  Instead, we were concerned about the pool parties and noise that would follow, breaking the serene atmosphere of our neighborhood.

Trying to stay calm and practice our dialogue skills, we asked how the neighbor would want us to respond when the noise became unreasonable.  Instead of discussing a good neighborly course of action, our question was met with another question, "What... you don't like Marco Polo?"

Was the question a challenge?  A rebuke?  A defended response?  We didn't know how to respond.  Were we being petty?

What boundaries limit you?
(Photo credit:  Swimming Pool, Wikipedia)

Now that the pool is finished, the weather is improving, and the pool gatherings have begun, we are still wondering what to do.  A major investment has been made by our neighbor.  How do we balance that with the 30+ years invested in our own home?

I have been mulling over this experience for several months now:

• When do my wants and needs outweigh those of family, friends, and colleagues?
  
• How do we balance individual desires when we live in a community?
  
• What does "being a good neighbor" really mean?

 

What happens when you are drained?
(Neptune Pool, Hearst Castle)

  

My SCRs ("socially constructed realities") about individual and societal boundaries are being called into question.  For instance, the phrase "My home is my castle" expresses our desire for shelter and safety, a refuge to solve what is under our control.  But, medieval castles used to be far apart with vast lands to buffer the occupants from the outside world.

 

Now that our modern castle-homes are feet part -- within short walking distances, I wonder what stops us from having a "good neighborly" chat?

Can the pandemic be blamed?  For a period of time we have been confined, unable to move around freely and explore the world and its oceans of experiences.

Are there ways to explore beyond our limitations?

COVID is not to blame.  When we venture beyond our castle-homes and those pools of safety we have created, we still seek security.  For example, when swimming in the ocean, we stay close to shore.  If we venture farther out, we make sure that life guards, life vests or life rafts are available.  We seek safety, shelter, and comfort.

 

Maybe it's the danger we perceive and the security we desire.  Maybe we need to stretch our boundaries to see anew.  Maybe our "good neighborly" advice needs to be sprinkled with sharing information, asking for another view, and listening.

 

Returning to my neighbor's question from last year, the issue may not be whether we like or dislike the game Marco Polo.  Rather, like Marco Polo, maybe we are asked to give clues on where we are so that the other person can find us.

May we consider this week what it means to be an individual in community.  May we honestly explore our self-imposed boundaries and limitations.  May we go beyond our personal safety to provide life-saving devices to our neighbors in need.
 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)