Impact Happens - Whether Meteoric or Feather-like

Close your eyes.  Picture in your mind people who have influenced you.  Who comes to mind: Parents?  Sisters and brothers?  Teachers?  Coaches?  Religious?  Friends?  Work colleagues?  Supervisors?  Public figures?  

How do you remember them:  what was it that they said or did which has made a lasting impression?  Notice your feelings as you recall these people.  What emotions surface?

How strong is their impact?  (Meteor Crater, Winslow, Arizona)

Another of Chris Argyris' dialogue skills is about impact.  Whether the impact is strong or gentle, long-lasting or fleeting, impact happens.  I don't know about you, but I seem to notice another person's impact on a situation much more readily than I do my own... especially if it is a negative impact!  It takes me awhile to slow down and appreciate the positive influences of others... let alone what I contribute!

The skill to practice this week begins with noticing, and the focal point is my impact on the situation.  That is, slowing down and realizing that we too leave an imprint on what is happening!

For instance:

• Observe the various roles you play throughout the day and the interactions you have with other people.
  Does your role influence how people respond to you?  Is your communication style producing a different effect than expected?  
  
  
• Check out your observations and assumptions by asking questions or sharing what you are noticing with the other person.
  What are you noticing about your impact?  Are the results intentional or accidental?  How are people perceiving what you say or do?

Observe the floating feathers (Amanda and Christopher Ewell)

How would you describe your impact?  Is it similar to the images you have of others who have touched your live?  Does it gently drift on the currents of your daily encounters like feathers that dance on air or water?

Does your impact bring light into the world?

Our impact on others can be very subtle and awe-inspiring, drawing forth the beauty of Self and Other.  It also can be painfully provocative.  This dialogue skill leads us into new insights about who we are in the world.

What beauty when we impact one another!

Now, imagine the interconnected ripples of our lives.  On this Mother's Day, I am reminded of how Mom -- and Dad -- influenced who I became.  As I meet you and learn from you, our familial impact-filled moments live on in us, overlap into our time together, and change the course of who we will become together.  Isn't this exciting?!

The month of May is packed with impactful invitations: to celebrate our mothers on Mother's Day and El Día de las Madres; our teachers, faculty, and students at the end of the academic year; our graduates with their accomplishments and dreams at Commencement ceremonies; our service men, women and veterans on Memorial Day; and each other as we celebrate how we gently "collide" into one another.  I hope to notice more fully your impact on me, and me on you!

Blessings to our mothers this Mother's Day!

Larry Gardepie