Sandboxes, Coloring, and Boundaries: A Challenge to Go Outside the Lines

When I was young, Dad built a sandbox for my brothers and sisters.  The boundaries of this box were traditional: square!  For these early years within these borders, we learned how to share; how to imagine; how to create.

Boundaries of our early learning

Can you guess my reaction when I went to a friend's house and found out that not all sandboxes were square?  The boundaries had changed!  But, my friend and I could still share, imagine and create!

Shifting boundaries: different perspectives

Recently, in a fit of restless creativity I found a couple of phone apps that allowed "adult coloring" opportunities.  As I played with these new sandboxes, I remembered the many hours that Mom and Dad would sit with us, helping us to color.  Dad would remind us to "stay in the lines" whereas Mom would encourage us to explore our creativity.

New tools to expand boundaries and skills (Recolor)

Eventually, the 64-color Crayola box, Light Brite, and Spirograph were added to our toy box.  I am not sure who had more fun with these toys: my sisters and brothers... or my parents!

New tools to expand creativity (RotoDoodle)

As I practice the Dialogue Skills proposed by Chris Argris and his colleagues, I notice how the inner tapes of "stay in the lines" and "be creative" influence how I respond.  I have translated "stay in the lines" as a way to do it the right way and conform, and "be creative" as an invitation to explore other ways of hearing and listening.

This doesn't mean that one parent was right and the other wrong.  Instead, I am finding that there is a balance between discovering the Both-And of each truth.  To practice the dialogue skills allows us to notice the tapes that limit the boundaries of who we might become, to stretch those boundaries to attract others into our sandboxes of learning, and to move into their sandboxes upon their invitation.

Coloring Outside the Lines (John Hebree)

In essence, there is truth and creativity in each person.  The questions to explore this week:

• How will you open yourself to share, to imagine, and to create?
• What inner tapes play for you as you engage others?
• By retelling these tapes/stories, are you limiting who you are?
• Are you ready to expand the boundaries by the way that you color the relationships around you?

To touch others requires expanding the boundaries

Whether you "stay in the lines," "be creative," or find your own way, have fun as you practice the Dialogue Skills!

Larry Gardepie