Death in the Family

I remember the emotions after the deaths of my parents, grandparents, and close friends.  I recall what it was like after the assassinations of John Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert Kennedy; the Challenger explosion; the deaths of Princess Diana and Mother Teresa; 9-11; the marches for justice after too many unnecessary killings; and the thousands of empty seats at our tables due to COVID-19.  So many milestones of loss... and transition.

The individual markers in our lives that cause us to pause and take notice:  life is no longer the same.  Shock. Pain.  Sadness.  Emptiness.

I am feeling the same after the events of this past week.

What events cause you to pause?
(Photo credit: Honoring U.S. Capitol Police Officer Brian Sicknick;
Brendan Smialowski, via Getty Images)

I don't know about you, but sometimes I am on autopilot:  living life without thinking, following habits, patterns, and traditions that have grown up around me.  (It's Saturday: time to grocery shop, do laundry, and run errands!)

I wonder how often we don't listen to what another person is saying... about their experiences, their wants and needs, pain suffered, feeling alone or left out.

When have we muted others?
~ ~ Click on image to enlarge ~ ~
(Photo credit:  Pickles, by Brian Crane, April 23, 2020)

A few questions as we reflect on Wednesday's march on the U.S. Capitol:

• What stories are we telling ourselves or repeating to others?
•  Who are we blaming?
•  Do we have a role to play... in the events? ...the beliefs we hold? ... in the healing?
  

Maybe just as important:  are we willing to learn and move forward together?

Can we see light even in our darkness?

Nature has so much to teach us!  The overarching themes of life and death.  The annual rhythm of the seasons.  The daily reminders of darkness and light.

 

The invitation as we notice the death, loss, and darkness of this past week is to turn off the autopilot that mutes our awareness of others, and ask questions:

• How am I feeling?  How are you feeling?
• What am I thinking?  What are you thinking?
• Is there a way I can help?  Will you help me to understand?
  

Maybe, at this moment in our history together,  we are being called to move out of our emotional distancing (due to COVID, our political beliefs, or our conclusions about others) and to reach out and to listen with intention.

 
May this death in our family draw us together!

 

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

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