Touching the Hearts of Others

Many years ago I was supervised by a director who listened to my suggestions and could find no wrong in what I said or did.  That was wonderful for me... until I noticed that she didn't like one of my employees.  My director found fault in almost everything this other employee said or did.  I benefited from my supervisor's biases, but my employee suffered because of these same biases.

Oftentimes our myopic views need to be shattered before the artificial barriers which separate us can be exposed.  After all, how crazy is it to stand behind a shattered pane of glass... no longer able to see clearly?

We can no longer stand idle, looking through the shattered window.  We must find ways to open the door and Welcome the Other.

When do you feel broken or violated?
(Photo credit:  Aftermath of Pro-Trump Riots
at the U.S. Capitol, Michael Reynolds, People.com)

Some might find reason to continue hiding behind our misunderstandings, prejudices and self-made conclusions about another person.  Our challenge, though, when we become aware of what separates us, is to pay attention to our assumptions... and look clearly at the Other-in-Person:  another human who is trying to survive this unforgiving world.

The symbolism and simple words expressed at the pre-inauguration memorial service touched my heart.  President-Elect Joe Biden challenged us:  "To heal, we must remember."

What do you need to remember in order to heal?
(Photo credit:  U.S. Honors American Lives Lost to COVID-19, ABC News)

What do we remember?  The hurts, pains, slights and prejudging?  Or the outreached hands, hugs, tears, and smiles?  It seems that the symbols of separation and healing are rooted in the same place... Hearts Broken.

• How have we been conditioned over the past few years to listen, to respond?
• Is our first "Go To" a criticism of the actions of others?
• When do we look for good intentions... "catching people doing something right"?

 

Is it possible to touch the heart of others... everywhere?
(Photo credit:  Heart-shaped Island Group in the River, Pinterest)

Taking a page from our political arena:  what do we want to accomplish in the next 100 days?  Maybe the invitation for our dialogue practices is to see how we can touch the hearts of others, with:

• Kind words;
• Empathy and compassionate thoughts;
• Questions that seek understanding; and,
• Actions that heal.

Isn't it time... to remember... and to heal?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)