Dinner, Death and Dialogue

"Now, how did you get there?" a friend sometimes asks me as we talk.  We might start on one topic and suddenly I'll be talking about something not outwardly connected!  Let me give an example.

My mind was preoccupied with the Wolf Moon throughout the day.  The local news had been talking it up for several days, but when that evening arrived, our city was covered with clouds and a possibility of rain.  I was thinking about not seeing the Wolf Moon as a friend and I had dinner at a Japanese restaurant.  My earlier reflections centered on an individual hope, a small moment in time to watch this one moon rise.

Then I noticed the Japanese lanterns, moon-like in their appearance, all shedding light on our outdoor dining area.  My mind refocused on the moment at hand: dinner with a friend; the ability to share our time together, shedding light on each other's thoughts and experiences.

When do you recognize another person's light?
(Photo:  Japanese Lanterns, Larry Gardepie)

Later that evening, June - a friend from North Carolina, sent a photo of the Wolf Moon illuminating the snow-covered landscape around her property.  We met June and Buz, her husband, on a tour several years ago.  Observing how they communicated, watched over, and took care of one another other, were sacred moments.  On our last evening together, June and Buz shared how their faith and love guided them.  June's comment about the photo was so true to her:  "Give God the credit for the night light."

Knowing that Buz had died recently, I wondered about the individual night lights that shine in our darkest moments.

Does your life reflect what is important?
(Photo:  Wolf Moon over snow-covered field,
June Buzzard, January 17 2022)

Recalling the days and months after my parents died, I recollected feelings of loss and separation, the thoughts left unshared, and the path ahead without them.  How do we see ourselves without the other?  Our love and faith are tested as we re-member, re-define, and re-connect with what is important: those night lights we nurtured when all was well.

Is that what is happening with the music group Il Divo right now?  Four talented individuals were brought together to combine their talents.  After entertaining millions of people for almost two decades, Carlos Marín unexpectedly died of COVID last month.  Are they still Il Divo without Carlos?

What happens when someone leaves you?
(Photo credit:  Il Divo, The Promise)

I can hear my friend asking at this point, "How did you get there?"!!  I moved from an individual thought (wanting to see the Wolf Moon and June's photo) to shared experiences (Japanese lanterns; dinner with a friend; observing June and Buz) to wondering about the loss of a loved one (Buz; my parents; Carlos).

My friend's question is valid... as are my interconnected thoughts.  Our willingness to share our thought processes with others -- June and Buz' faith and love; the God-inspired night lights of our lives; the experience of loss and separation -- is what dialogue is about.  Sharing with another "how we got there" is the movement from individual to common-unity.

Are you willing to explain your thought processes to another person this week?

Larry Gardepie

Dialogue San Diego Consulting

(click on link for website)